How much should DD contribute?

[notonmywatch71]

My DD had a baby 6 months ago and has settled into a routine and sorted her finances out . She gets £570 in UC and CHB. What would be a reasonable amount to charge for a contribution to the household? I'm not including rent or council tax
As a single parent myself I am currently working 30hrs a week and earn £240 per week.I can't really afford to pay for her and my DGC. TIA.

@SleepingStandingUp thanks - your correction if my maths makes the situation even harder for OP.

So she needs to find £295 a month just to stand still - so @MyDcAreMarvel suggests working another 15 hours a week taking her hours to 45 (as she earns minimum wage looking at her income and already changed her job to help the DD).

The 'oh so generous' benefits system suggests you can support a child on 282.50 a month (UC child) plus £21 a week so around £380 a month? But as DD has a child UC are giving her her own money rather than giving the OP the money to support her DD. So OP gets nothing to support DD at all - unless it comes from DD. So @MyDc is suggesting that OP should work an extra 15 hours a week to support DD so that DD doesn't have to use the cash given to her by the government specifically with that purpose to do so?

If DD and baby moved out OP could move to somewhere cheaper but presumably needs at least 2 rooms to support dd and baby which will cost extra!

As others say the DDs dad and Baby's dad are the ones letting everyone down here. But OP shouldn't have to work 50% more hours to cover a gap which thengovernment have covered for the DD!

[quote MyDcAreMarvel]@SleepingStandingUp the profit is actual additional costs of the dd living there and having food provided - circa £200. Any extra is profit. Even though the op has a shortfall if she charges her dd £400 she is £200 a month better off then if her dd moved out.[/quote]
Yes sorry realised after I posted what you meant.

What does it cost OP to live.
What does it cost with DD and DGC there.
She pays the difference.

The difference in rent could easily bea few hundred though.say £100. CT 25% say £40. Utilities, I've no idea what a normal family spends 😂 but daughter home more, heating on for baby, say £40. Food shopping another £100 easily. Incidentals that Mom covers, so say daughter pays £300.

So living costs are £1500, Op earns £1000, daughter covers £300. Presumably to cover the short fall of £200 OP would have increased her hours at work which she's actually cut to support her child. So either daughter helps cover the shortfall (570-300=270. £50 on baby food and nappies?? £25 a month for incidents for baby, £25 for saving for next size up clothes, cots, car seats etc) leaves her with £170 a month.

I guess she either needs to pay that as "living costs" or have less practical help from a mom who needs to earn £50 a week extra after tax.

CMS for the baby
1/2 costs for your DD .. this has been her life choice so needs to be the reality of life...

@averythinline

CMS for the baby 1/2 costs for your DD .. this has been her life choice so needs to be the reality of life...

So house costs are £1500. She gets £500. Unliky to get work sufficient to cover childcare AND extra money to live. And that's without nappies, milk, clothes etc.

So does op kick her out? EBay the Baby? Suggest DD locks her in the bedroom alone before going to work? She doesn't HAVE half and baby s HERE

S

240 a week for 30 hours @notonmywatch71 is that even min wage??!!

[quote Cocomarine]@solbunny nowhere did I say that this women “decided” to get pregnant.
Will you just stop with your nonsense?

I said that she made an adult decision to have a baby. Which she did.

If all those things you’re listing are so cheap , why make a big deal about how much money the woman needs? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don’t know why you’re insistent that I’m taking a moral position rather than a financial one!

If you look at my original post, I shared my opinion that this woman should only be contributing what she is costing. So certainly less than some of the suggestions here. It’s entirely a practical position, not a moral. But when it comes to contributing to the household costs, her share of the heating has to come higher than a carton of the most expensive way to buy formula![/quote]
...Sorry I misremembered, you used the word decision rather than decided. Makes a world of difference.

You're taking this all rather seriously aren't you?🤣 OP asked what share of her £400 bills her daughter should pay. Posters were suggesting she pay £400. I thought this was extreme and that £170 wasn't much for a mum and baby, and thought wow I definitely spend more than that a month! You decided that this was me making a list of absolute necessities that OP's daughter needs to buy and suggested unsafe things like buying sleeping bags that were too large and sewing them up were more appropriate for a seventeen year old who made the adult decision* (happy?) to get pregnant. You went on about how I live in a "different world" if I think that OP's daughter would or indeed should be able to afford such luxuries as sleeping bags and bedside cribs. I pointed out that you can actually get these things fairly cheaply. I don't recall making a big deal about these things needing* to be expensive, just that I personally spent more than £100 a month on them due to the fact that I didn't need to get them all as cheap as possible. I also didn't make a big deal about OP's daughter needing these things - it's not even relevant stuff to the age of OP's granddaughter.

Somehow I think you're the one making a big deal out of things!

What is your dds plan with regards to work or further education?

@solbunny where have I said I’m not making a bit deal out of things, or that you are? 🤨
I can post as much as I like on here, with whatever degree of seriousness I wish.
I don’t generally take genuine questions from an OP in a difficult position as light hearted entertainment to while away my day.

Using a laughing emoji at me and saying I’m too serious?

Were you a fan of, “I know you are, because you said you are” level of incisive thought back at school?

If you are still getting some UC are they deducting a non dependent deduction or do they not do that any more?

Is she on a waiting list for social housing? If so she should be saving for setting up home costs. Put this in a separate bank account.

If all her bills and food/ toiletries are paid she should only need £50pcm for extras. This is a reasonable amount for a young unemployed person.

Thank you for the comments - I wasn't asking if £400 was an amount to take from her , I've been thinking no more then £250 ( including her mobile bill that is £37) Her dad is going to pay for driving lessons/ provisional licence that's why no more child maintenance from him. Her BF is an apprentice electrician and is 17. He buys things for them both and lives at his home. I am very proud of my daughter and some comments appeared quite judgey. She wants to work when DGC is a bit bigger and she already has a nail qualification that she wants to start using when she feels ready. My plan was to rent my spare room out to exchange students in the next 2 years but have lost that ability now as it is the DGC room! I have a small mortgage so won't be moving anytime soon...I will sit with her tonight and go through our household expenses .

Nothing that didn't exist 20 years ago is essential.

@notonmywatch71
Your DD sounds sensible for looking ahead, glad her bf is supportive too.
Some of the comments here have been so middle class snobbery.
Saving setting up homes costs? 🤣
that's a breeze on £500pm with a child, honestly half these pps live on another planet.
Best of luck to all of you 🌸

@felulageller

If you are still getting some UC are they deducting a non dependent deduction or do they not do that any more?

Is she on a waiting list for social housing? If so she should be saving for setting up home costs. Put this in a separate bank account.

If all her bills and food/ toiletries are paid she should only need £50pcm for extras. This is a reasonable amount for a young unemployed person.

She's not just an unemployed person though, she's got a baby to look after. Op hasn't clarified if she's buying milk and nappies or of DD is, baby toiletries, wipes, bibs, clothes, car seats, etc.

Its one thing saying you have £500, I NEED £450 to keep the house going and that leaves us all skint and "feckless youth only needs pocket money, so you can hand the rest over to me"

Make sure she applies for the Sure Start Maternity Grant OP.

I would try to have a conversation with her Dad too... driving lessons are useful but not if you are struggling to make ends meet while housing and feeding his daughter and his grandchild. Is that the most sensible use of that money?

@Akire

Half of bills and utilities for a start shes at home all day and so costing you more. She would have to pay that on her own place. She should be paying half of all food too plus extra baby bits. You do her no favours pretending all her Uc is pocket money and doesn’t need to be spend the majority of it on basic expenses. No point giving her unrealistic budget where she pays £20 a week and has loads cash to do with as she pleases.

At very least you should have same amount of spending money left as her, I imagine you have very little if paying for everything on a low wage.

This 100 times. She needs to step up to the responsibility and also gives her a realistic perspective of costs, which in time will help her to motivate herself to improve her situation for her and her child.

Half the costs @TheBigDilemma are more than she physically has coming in, and that's without baby essentials. How do you propose a mum to a young baby earns an extra circa £400 a month after childcare costs? The Dad is on an apprenticeship so warning very little and possibly also paying board to his parents who might need it too, and is buying what he can for them.

The baby can sleep in with your daughter if you want to rent the room out?

I think £250 is very generous of you. Your daughter really should have thought about how she was going to afford this, and saved up with the dad of the baby, when she decided to go ahead with the pregnancy.