Keeping up with the Joneses culture

[Mumoftwo2021]

Anyone else feel that social media etc have set impossible standards for our younger generation.

We have become a culture of debt and trying to keep up with the Joneses, all the while destroying our mental health and spiralling further into debt.

Recently I’ve reviewed our finances and decided to stop being sucked into this and sort out our finances out to have some quality of life.

Anyone else taken a U turn in this day and age and refused to try and live up to today’s standards?

@sunglassesonthetable FIRE is an acronym for Financial Independence Retire Early. People try to live beneath their means and save like mad and/or set up passive income streams for themselves so that they are able to quit work and do what they like with their lives before traditional retirement age.

Thank you! 😀 Never heard of it. Very interesting.

Reading FIRE blogs online changed my life. It made me realise that if I cut my spending down to sensible levels I would be able to pay off the mortgage early and cram more into savings. I am rubbish at investments and could probably make more if I put some savings into investments but I don't like the risk - but I do shop around of better deals - insurance, sky, holidays etc and I have saved lots on switching energy suppliers and by using quidco for cashback.

As a family we don't go without. Pre covid we had three holidays abroad a year, and I love to go on a cruise. Once my children had finished in uni and it was just the two of us on holiday it really made a difference to costs!

I retired in my early 50s. Young enough to be enjoying pretty good health and be able to spend lots of time walking, reconnecting with family and starting new hobbies. I absolutely love this stage in my life. I could have bought bigger cars, moved to a bigger house, redone the kitchen and bathroom all the time, but instead I chose to get out of a job that I found very stressful and that I had not enjoyed for the last few years.

If anyone is interested in FIRE there are lots and lots of sites and blogs on the internet.

@singsingbluesilver would you share the names of any you found particularly good? I’m always on the lookout for recommendations. Thank you!

If you take a look at moneysavingexpert under the retirement forum there are lots of people on there who describe their FIRE experiences.

Thank you @singsingbluesilver I’ll do that.

What's the saying? Buying things you don't need with money you don't have to impress people you don't like. It's sad how many people fall into this trap. Good on you for recognising the issue and addressing it.

YY to the fight club quote.

It’s also makes me think of trainspotting..

‘….Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers...’

Except maybe as alternative instead of choosing heroin, choose to reject consumerism instead.

This is definitely a thing in your 30s. And advertising is absolutely insidious. We are positioned as consumers first and foremost. I always thought I needed the perfect wardrobe. Years of wfh now I realise its whats inside your body that counts. I cut back materialism - actually whats interesting is that, although I do love the odd special meal out, I am enjoying seeing my savings grow. Personally I was quite inspired by Carrie Johnsons approach of hiring all her outfits at the G7 Summit.

I’m not on social media, but I found the biggest pressure to keep up was when my kids were in primary school. Maybe it was the area ( Wimbledon) but there was a subtle hierarchy of mums which was built around clothes, handbags, car, address etc. For the first time in my life I felt I didn’t match up and actually started to want those things- I looked into acquiring a Mulberry handbag ( then decided I couldn’t be bothered), wished I’d had a car, felt dissatisfied with my flat in a less than lovely area of Merton etc etc. Now my kids are in secondary and there’s no school gate interaction I care a lot less. And that’s a happier feeling.

Hi everyone just from my point of view. My husband and I have nice cars not to impress anyone else or because we felt pressured to get them. We just like them for ourselves and get enjoyment out of them.
I couldn't care less what others think if I didn't even have a car.
I think everyone to their own.
The most important thing to me when I visit one of our friends is that I feel relaxed and comfortable not worried about if they've got more than us etc.

Also some of the comments where people say they know couples who have cars, long haul holidays, etc etc snd they don't know how they do it are surprising as we know people who don't do this but smoke a lot, down the pub often... , have a lot of pets and so on.
We all spend money in different ways.

And we have relatives/friends where children are at every club going and I think sometimes children just need to chill out after been at school all day.
These clubs cost money
I don't regret any of the holidays or cars we have had as we have had amazing times while we are young/fit enough to enjoy it. We know people who saved eco penny got ill and don't do anything now.
But we do holidays etc for ourselves not to impress anyone. We don't usually tell people either when going away as in the past it would be 'oh you're not going there are you' and similar. I do agree with some of comments re jealously that's why we keep our business private.
Nothing worse buying a new car or whatever and people making negative comments. Just not nice and does make you wander what their agenda is. I always feel pleased when a friend or colleague has got something nice or doing something good snd they are happy