Partner's salary/stayathome mum

[calistassouth]

Hi!
I've stopped working due to us being due in March with our first baby.
My husband has said it's fine that I am a stay at home mum and he will support us.
I feel happy to do this, but I'm worried that his salary will end up being too little to support a whole family of two adults and one baby. Or will become an issue as baby gets older?
He makes £24,000.
Does anyone have any thoughts on whether this is going to be enough for us to live comfortably?
I know there are other factors, like mortgage etc (£480 per month)
but in general, is one salary at this bracket enough to be okay..?
Thanks!

Certainly no resentment here OP. That salary is not enough for my family to live on so definitely no resentment. Swimming lessons, scouts, all add up.

What's 'faux feminism', then?

It’s not a lot. Why have you stopped working now rather than waiting and taking maternity leave?

I think your income is too tight long term, and it’s not a great idea for long term security, I’d aim to get back PT when the baby is 6 or 9 months.

I became a SAHM when I had my two dc. I absolutely do not regret taking that time off. Going back to work though was quite an eye-opener. It was really difficult to go back, took me years to climb back to the same level. With hindsight I wish I somehow continued working part-time (even if it didn't make sense financially) as i basically sacrificed my career prospects. Can't advise regarding your financial situation as I had generous maternity cover from the employer and saved quite a lot before going on maternity. I did overspend quite a lot for PFB, but was much wiser second time round.

@optimissy when my Dad married his second wife (alcoholic bitch BTW) she earned a fab wage and he earned a pittance.

He earned about £18,000 but had to pay for everything for him and his 2 daughters. Everything. His wife kept her wage and drank must of it.

It was horrible. Really horrible. We didn't do anything, go anywhere, buy anything. Everything was a struggle. I lived on cereal for dinner for years.

That's the closest I can get to your situation. We lived from week to week never knowing if we were going to lose our house or not.

I can buy my DC things, I can make sure they go to Scouts or Guides or rugby or football or school camps.

Having a bit more money gives you more flexibility and ultimately more freedom.

My Dad still suffers now (£18,000 was a good wage in the 90s but there was massive interest on the mortgage) he never got over struggling back then. He'll never own his house. He never managed to save a pension. He still feels the effects of struggling financially 30 years later. That could be you.

You won't have pot to piss and what if something breaks? What if the car breaks down? What if he has to onto stat sick pay? What if he breaks his leg? What if the baby is ill and your constantly needing taxis to hospital and going back and forth. What about Christmas, birthdays, weekends away and trips? What about baby classes and experiences?

£245 a month after the BARE essentials is not enough to be comfortable it's enough to survive.

Personally I wouldn't CHOOSE my child to grow up poor just because I didn't want to work. You have to weigh up the pros and cons and in your circumstances i would 100% work, even if part time.

I shuddered reading this. That's hardly enough for one person to live on, let alone 3. Unless you have other income you haven't mentioned, it's going to cause problems I'm afraid.

You need a budget that you talk about together every month, and an emergency fund of approximately 3-6 months expenses.
Budget - there are loads of good apps out there. We use a paid one called YNAB which I saw recommended on the money saving expert forums years ago. It has saved us hundreds or even thousands of pounds. It syncs with our bank accounts and between our devices and it's really easy to use.
You need to make sure you include EVERYTHING in your budget, not just mortgage and food (monthly costs), but also expected unexpected costs, ranging from haircuts to Christmas to broken washing machines and car insurance. It's all going to happen so budget for it. I think this is the thing that a lot of people get wrong - they include the basic monthly expenses then something happens like their car needs a new tyre and it wasn't budgeted.
On money saving expert there is a really detailed budget planner tool that lists loads of expenses that you should be considering, and encourages you to sit down for an afternoon with several months of bank statements to see what you actually spend on this stuff, to help you be more accurate. I would really recommend doing that, especially with your husband, as it will give you an excellent sense of if you can afford to be a SAHM, and also a fantastic awareness of where your money is really going and if you're making the best use you can with it.
Emergency fund - obviously if you have debts you will want to pay those first, but ideally you will want to have several months expenses saved up before you quit work. If your partner were to lose his job and you were on maternity leave having a solid emergency fund will really help you get some breathing room until he can get something else. If you don't have any savings yet I would be very worried about quitting my job.

I shuddered reading this. That's hardly enough for one person to live on, let alone 3

Oh come on. Don't be so ridiculous.

£24k in such circumstances is very difficult to live on for a family, accepting they may get some support. It is a very very hard existence especially when major household appliances break or repairs required etc. I have experienced living years ago on a low income and it is gruelling and impacts on relationships etc. I say that as someone who has progressed professionally and fortunately am extremely comfortable, but don't forget what it is like to experienced such hardship.

There isn't a week goes by that I remind myself of how lucky I am now a,though it came about by hard work a d study by both myself and DH

@LadyDique

I shuddered reading this. That's hardly enough for one person to live on, let alone 3

Oh come on. Don't be so ridiculous.

Not ridiculous depending where you live. I couldn't live on that in the South East. Cheapest one bed flat is £800.

@LadyDique

I shuddered reading this. That's hardly enough for one person to live on, let alone 3

Oh come on. Don't be so ridiculous.

She’s not being ridiculous, read the thread, this is a very very small wage for a family of three to survive on, we all get it’s doable, but one big repair or unexpected expense snd they are in trouble.

It would be better for Op to work, even if just 2 or three days to boost the family income. That amount is too tight for a life free from financial stress and worry.
Things will break down and unexpected costs appear. When there is another adult who can work, choosing not to, which results in the family income being so low seems daft.

Being part time still gives lots of time with children.

@DippingToes

I shuddered reading this. That's hardly enough for one person to live on, let alone 3. Unless you have other income you haven't mentioned, it's going to cause problems I'm afraid.

I could live on £24k as a single person without dependants no problem. If you couldn't, you should visit MSE and get some tips.

It’s nothing to do with the inability to budget. It’s about enjoying life, not having to count every penny, not having to worry about cars or appliances breaking because you can’t afford to fix them, not having to say no to your child if they ask to join a club with friends, not having to say no to day trips.
It’s about having a good quality of life as opposed to merely existing

That's hardly enough for one person to live on

If a single person without children cannot manage on £24k then yes, it is about ability to budget.

@unmarkedbythat so £1,600 a month is fine?
I earned that as a young, childfree woman at around 21/22 years old with no mortgage. It doesn’t cut it for a family.

@LadyWhistledownthe1st what is it about "as a single person without dependants" and "single person without children" are you struggling to understand? Why on earth do you think that having made it explicit that I am talking about A SINGLE PERSON WITH NO DEPENDANTS that I would be arguing that it is sufficient for a family?

There are many many single people and families living on less than that.

It’s not fun though

Bear in mind that your daily habits will change significantly, which will have a knock on effect on your spending.

I didn't go back to work but worked from home a few hours here and there, gradually increasing it to the point where DS started nursery. I had another baby and covid cocked it up a bit for me, but hoping to get DS back in nursery in coming months, and fingers crossed DD at some point and build the work back up.

There are all sorts of things you can do from home on a self employed basis. I wouldn't go back to work willingly now. Just something to consider - if it goes well, you could put him/her in nursery for a couple of mornings or so, or if that's not viable, just slot in a few hours in the evenings/weekends.

I think DP was on around that when I went off on maternity leave the first time, but our rent was about £700 a month. We could just about get by, but I wouldn't like to do it for long. There would have been no money left for holidays etc. just the bare minimum to get by, and if something went wrong, it was a struggle. It's ok in the short-term, but I wouldn't like to do it forever. I'm not particular prudent in terms of my spending, however.