Partner's salary/stayathome mum

[calistassouth]

Hi!
I've stopped working due to us being due in March with our first baby.
My husband has said it's fine that I am a stay at home mum and he will support us.
I feel happy to do this, but I'm worried that his salary will end up being too little to support a whole family of two adults and one baby. Or will become an issue as baby gets older?
He makes £24,000.
Does anyone have any thoughts on whether this is going to be enough for us to live comfortably?
I know there are other factors, like mortgage etc (£480 per month)
but in general, is one salary at this bracket enough to be okay..?
Thanks!

I'm the sole earner in our family on £39k. On my salary it's ok.

A couple of years ago I was on about £25k and we struggled. Built up quite a bit of debt as we never had anything spare for the inevitable emergencies, and there's always something.

We do have 2dcs (but a smaller mortgage payment). Bear in mind that unless you're planning just one, you'll likely have another (or be planning one) when your first qualifies for free nursery hours so you're back to square one.

It's so difficult though. Childcare takes a big chunk of most people's second salary so however you cut it, babies are expensive (not in terms of what they need, in terms of limiting your earning power).

When we were struggling I calculated that if dh could have found something that brought in £300 per month, that would have made all the difference.

I said this thread wouldn't go well. Everyone is way to sensitive and working mums and stay at home mums all take things the wrong way.
Leave this thread now OP and make a decision based on your own ideas. Speak to family and friends. Don't use Mums Net to decide what to do with your life.

I’m reading the opposite of resentment! People are telling you to be careful and giving you their experiences.

I think maybe you don’t like the answers op, they aren’t really what you wanted to hear.

Of course a family of three living on 24k a year is a very low income family. Is it doable, of course, but there is little joy in being poor, budgeting for everything, and stressing over money. And you will be stressing over money at some point. Babies are relatively cheap, they are not when they get older and you need to feed and clothe them.

As said though, for me, I’d give it a crack and then in a year or two you can revisit it when you understand the reality of it. The decision doesn’t need to be forever. If it works, then stay not working, if it’s too much of a struggle get yourself back to work.

Sorry this isn’t an echo chamber of your views op 😂 Not sure why you posted if you already know it all anyway....ah well.

A family living on 24k isn’t an enviable position to be in. It’s a hard one, so logically no one would resent that. You need to be in an enviable position to have people resent you.

@calistassouth Sorry I missed the notification where you’d asked me what region I’m in!

I’m south west- just over the bridge from Bristol - I live in Gloucestershire.

@optimissy

Christ, what an ugly thread this has transformed into. Mix a little resentment with a lot of black and whiteness and a pinch of bitterness and faux feminism and there you have it. Thanks everyone who tried to answer my question in good faith. I was only asking for advice. Eurgh.

Really? Gosh. I'm surprised that's what you take from this.

I think you may be the one guilty of a bit of black and whiteness, OP.

You've got loads of advice given in good faith. What you choose to do with it is up to you, I think.

Sorry OP, I don’t know anyone who would resent a family of 3 trying to survive on £1,600 a month.

Lord, if there's any situation in this world I really don't resent or envy, it's that of a SAHM living on one slender income.

I wish you the best OP, I really do. If you feel strongly that you want to be at home with your DC and think you can make it work on that income, knock yourself out. All I personally want is for women to budget sensibly, to understand how costs do go up and unexpected costs regularly arise, and also how vulnerable long-term they are by being a SAHM so that they make the choice with their eyes open.

I make a very good salary, DH an excellent one. Before DC, even though we both earned a fair bit less, we never felt the want of money. Since DC there are always costs cropping up, often big ones, and they bite deeper than I anticipated. I'm not saying that for sympathy, but life without a financial buffer will be a hard and stressful one. And many women have to face the financial reality that they cannot afford to SAH.

How old are you? You might just about get by, but doesn't allow for hardly any saving if at all. What happens when you have a leak in the roof, the boiler breaks down, the tree in the garden comes down etc...and on that amount, he and you won't be able to.put anything towards a pension. It might not seem important now, but you might desperately regret it in a few years.

I think it irresponsible to satisfy yourself on this income unless it is very temporary.

I wanted to be a SAH mum. We both had reasonably paid jobs ie above average. However when I put all of our expenses on a spreadsheet it left us financially vulnerable if something needed repairing etc etc. We would not have been happy.

@MissBPotter

Sorry this isn’t an echo chamber of your views op 😂 Not sure why you posted if you already know it all anyway....ah well.

I was asking for advice and based on it have decided to stay up north! I listened! I could've just done without the judgementalness. Totally unnecessary.

[quote TerrifiedOfTrying4No2]@calistassouth Sorry I missed the notification where you’d asked me what region I’m in!

I’m south west- just over the bridge from Bristol - I live in Gloucestershire.[/quote]
Thanks :-) seems like a lovely place!

It is lovely if you get the right village or town. Some villages are so sleepy and beautiful, the local history is incredible too. I’m certainly staying put with my DD it’s a fab place for families.

Nice woodland walks, quiet roads, friendly locals.

Name change fail, OP?

@TerrifiedOfTrying4No2

It is lovely if you get the right village or town. Some villages are so sleepy and beautiful, the local history is incredible too. I’m certainly staying put with my DD it’s a fab place for families.

Nice woodland walks, quiet roads, friendly locals.

Sounds ideal ☺️

@AllTheCakes

Name change fail, OP?

Stated I'd changed it in a post above.. so not really a fail, no 🙄

I was asking for advice and based on it have decided to stay up north! I listened! I could've just done without the judgementalness. Totally unnecessary

Gosh that was a fast decision. Surely you’d look at areas and jobs before deciding that?

I get you don’t like the responses op. But this is a case of lashing out and punching the messenger.

The bottom line is your husband is a low earner, as such for a family to survive on that is doable but it is hard. No one is judging, this site has a huge amount of stay at home mums on here. You asked if it was going to be ok and people told you the factual answers.

Not liking the answers does not mean people are bitter or resentful or judgemental. They are trying to help you and to answer your question.

Of course it's doable but if you get any unexpected expenses you'd likely be fucked. We lived on just my salary of £26k for 5 months once and dh was a sahd... yes we managed but there wasn't anything left and it's only lucky that our boiler or car didn't blow up during that period or we'd have been well and truly up the creek with no paddle.

Don't just think of the now. Think of forever.

Awful as it is to think of...what if 15 years pass and your oh dies? There's you with 3 kids, no career and severely limited earning potential due to being out for so long.

There's so much more to consider than just wanting to be home when the dc are young.

After reading all the responses I’d say it’s definitely worth getting boiler cover.

Totally off point but why do people name change half way through a thread. Selfishly it means I can't use the filter function!!!

After reading all the responses I’d say it’s definitely worth getting boiler cover

😂😂

The boiler going - the height of British dread!

I’m not in the UK so have no idea how far a gross salary of £24k goes, but it doesn’t sound like it’ll go that far based on responses here.

I don’t resent you, OP. You do you.

However, I would resent growing up in a home where my parents purposely chose to forsake a needed income.

@VodselForDinner

I’m not in the UK so have no idea how far a gross salary of £24k goes, but it doesn’t sound like it’ll go that far based on responses here.

I don’t resent you, OP. You do you.

However, I would resent growing up in a home where my parents purposely chose to forsake a needed income.

Of course it’s not great growing up the “poor” kid, but they won’t be the only one, not having the tech, clothes, or be able to go on the trips your friends do, always impacts kids, no matter how much love is in the home. Everyone remembers what it was like if they were brought up in a home where the parents were skint.

Couple that with the stress that comes with a tight financial situation, ie a leak, car repair, washing machine broken, a sudden bill and it is not an easy life the op is choosing.

But as said, nothing is forever, and there is no reason she can’t give it a crack and then change her mind at a later date and work when free nursery hours becomes available or the child is in school.