Partner's salary/stayathome mum

[calistassouth]

Hi!
I've stopped working due to us being due in March with our first baby.
My husband has said it's fine that I am a stay at home mum and he will support us.
I feel happy to do this, but I'm worried that his salary will end up being too little to support a whole family of two adults and one baby. Or will become an issue as baby gets older?
He makes £24,000.
Does anyone have any thoughts on whether this is going to be enough for us to live comfortably?
I know there are other factors, like mortgage etc (£480 per month)
but in general, is one salary at this bracket enough to be okay..?
Thanks!

Is your mortgage due to go up soon?

I couldn't do this comfortably I would find it stressful without a safety net and I love to work part time personally but my opinion is irrelevant, it's what you both feel comfortable with. What's your current job?

Why did you not stay put in your job and just earn more money until your due date OP? Were you not entitled to mat leave or mat pay from them??

@Tier10

Is your mortgage due to go up soon?

It's a parental mortgage, the repayments are fixed so won't be going up.

@scubadub

Why did you not stay put in your job and just earn more money until your due date OP? Were you not entitled to mat leave or mat pay from them??

I have migraines and a seizure disorder so would've struggled to work and be pregnant at the same time as can't take certain meds which enabled me to work. Worked informally so wouldn't have been entitled to maternity pay.

@TerrifiedOfTrying4No2

It’s doable OP.

My other half is on £23500 and we managed when DD was born last year; however I am now back at work full time and went back when my maternity was over because A) we had to budget and be so tight I was worried about not having the perfect first Christmas as a family (materialistic to you, but we’ve always had ‘grand’ christmases growing up.. traditional if you will)

B) I found myself almost feeling a bit guilty after a while that OP was bringing home the dish and I was spending it and then feeling crap that I couldn’t buy myself or DD something nice one in a while.

C) I had always planned to be a stay at home mum; but when it boiled down to it I really needed to go back to work for my own sanity lol. It was a lovely chunk of time off with DD but I wasn’t me anymore and now I’m back at work, working from home; both me and DD are much happier and less stressed.

Everyone is different; so I am just saying to stay open minded. If you can manage and cope by cutting back on expenses and budgeting, then that’s great and you’ll be fine. But don’t feel disheartened if some months in you start to get the itch to bring in some more money and feel like you need to have a day or two for you (at work but without child at least!)

You’ll know what’s best for you and your family when it comes to it.

Thanks for this! Can I ask what region you live in? I feel like I wasn't very clear in my post, we're fine as we are now but worried about moving down south, and if it's really possible to raise children on one salary that's in or around that bracket. The reaction seems to be quite mixed, I know it's dependent on so many variables.

Moving to Bristol/Bath will be a lot more expensive. I think it will be very tight, sorry.

G9 on Rightmove and see what property costs. It will give you a good idea.

@LittleBearPad

Moving to Bristol/Bath will be a lot more expensive. I think it will be very tight, sorry.

G9 on Rightmove and see what property costs. It will give you a good idea.

Thanks. We're not totally fixed on that area, but want to be out of the north. Perhaps more south west would be better, seems cheaper out that way, Devon direction

I live in the SW (Cornwall to be exact) and that wouldn't be enough at all. Unless you can get some help via UC?

Depends if your happy being a stay at home mom aswel...having a new born is much easier than when they grow up and become toddlers...I still work full time apart from having 1 day a week off to be with our 2yo...I enjoy my job and think it's healthy to have separation...even if my husband earned enough money for me to be a stay at home mom I wouldn't take it...I honestly enjoy working and having our little boy...I even find works a break from being a mom 🤣xx

A quick look at a mortgage calculator suggests you can borrow around 100k on a 24k salary. Is that going to be enough to fund a move?

It sounds tight, I wouldn’t attempt it without a decent cushion for anything going wrong with car/boiler/household appliances

Friends lived on similar when their DC was little (partly because my friend wanted to be a SAHM and partly because of nursery fees) They survived, but it was stressful. They ended up borrowing money off parents to replace a car that was written off, which caused tension
We used to go on holiday with them (camping) and they were scrimping and saving the wile time, it wasn’t much fun for them and they seemed permanently stressed about money, which impacted on their relationship
My friend went back to work when DC started school, it didn’t make loads of difference financially, as she was part time and not especially well paid, but it definitely made a difference to their mental well-being

So are you missing out on maternity pay/allowance? I thought you’d be entitled to that now? Even if allowance and not from your employer.

Surely it depends on your 'standards' too? You say you live in Yorkshire but it's a massive county and living costs and standards vary hugely.

Even within a town there are nice and expensive areas the complete opposite (just like everywhere in the country)

There are areas of towns local to me I wouldn't live in, but others feel differently

£24K sounds like an existence to me rather than a life, but we're all different

What if you have more than one child? How will that work? It could be years before you get back into the workplace.
What about your pension? And your sanity!!?

It’s very little money!! What’s his take home pay? About 1567 I think after tax etc - after mortgage, bills etc - your probably looking at max 800 left over - you have to get your monthly food in them out of that, any fun activities/days out you want to do etc -

Sounds like you would really struggle tbh - you’d manage yes - but wouldn’t be much of a life !

Also if you really want to move and it’s only him working and you have a dependent, you’ll be able to borrow very little for a mortgage!

How will the occasional haircut or need for a new coat for winter for yourself be funded? Or to meet a friend for a coffee and cake once a month or replace your mascara? Or to buy a birthday gift for a friend or children's party.

There are many many threads on here from women who leapt into being a SAHP without agreeing how their personal allowance would be funded. Without confirmation it would match whatever spare money DP has-as the not working is a family decision you should not be penalised for. And also without ensuring they had shared access to all funds including joint account.

There are also many many threads on here from women who went ahead without a practical discussion. Making sure SAHP means just that and not a slave. Will your DH still do some of the night feeds and bathtimes and will you get a share of weekend lie ins. Will he still cook so many nights a week and share house work and metal load and admin etc.

A previous poster asked why you have left early and forfeited a years maternity pay?

Do you have a shared understanding that when you do return to work childcare costs would then be shared and not yours to cover.

Do you have a handle on your current budget, OP?

If so, post it! You’ll get better answers then of what you’ll need to increase, what you’ll need to cut out, and what a move somewhere more expensive will do.

I think it’s really tight and moving sounds not a good idea, honestly.

We are in the South West and we wouldn’t be able to live on that amount.

House prices in our area, for a decent house are around £325,000.

Bath and parts of Bristol are much, much more expensive.

Ultimately though, it does come down to what you class as comfortable. What is comfortable for one person may be different for another.

Good luck ☺️

That should have been prices start from at least £325,000 for a standard 3 bed.

Op you say the reactions are mixed but from what I can see, they are about 90% saying no, especially if you move (though some parts of yorkshire are very expensive). If you worked informally does that mean you have no pension at all? That’s going to cause problems in future, especially if you have more than one child and take a few years out. Also I think Devon is also very expensive, though there may be some less desirable parts. However, you don’t explain how you’re planning to buy a new property on £24k, or if DH can get a similar job elsewhere. Maybe his salary would go up? Otherwise I struggle to see how you would get a mortgage. Maybe you have lots of savings or inheritance or something?

Why the move south OP? Are you moving for dh's work?? How do you know he will find work if that is not the pull factor?? I wouldn't dream of moving until he actually had a job to go to.

Sorry op but we're not psychic.
You need to go through your bank statements and write down ALL of your bills and regular outgoings - food, travel, everything.

Sorry what’s a parental mortgage? Is it fixed for the whole term of the mortgage?

If not you might find dependent on the amount you owe that you at some point are moved to a variable rate, your payments go up and you can’t meet the criteria to swap mortgages. I know someone said you can borrow £100k on £24k but honestly you’re more likely just now to get 3x than 4, maybe 3.5 x at a push but you’ll probably have a higher interest rate too at the top of what you can borrow. Unless you’ve got tons of equity in your house of course.

I presume a parental mortgage is that one set of parents lent them money to buy the house?

Why are you so keen to leave 'the North' OP? It's a huge and varied area, I'm sure you can find what you want somewhere up here!