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Original poster

Partner's salary/stayathome mum

220 replies

calistassouth · 27/01/2021 12:27

Hi!
I've stopped working due to us being due in March with our first baby.
My husband has said it's fine that I am a stay at home mum and he will support us.
I feel happy to do this, but I'm worried that his salary will end up being too little to support a whole family of two adults and one baby. Or will become an issue as baby gets older?
He makes £24,000.
Does anyone have any thoughts on whether this is going to be enough for us to live comfortably?
I know there are other factors, like mortgage etc (£480 per month)
but in general, is one salary at this bracket enough to be okay..?
Thanks!

OP posts:
RB68 · 27/01/2021 12:49

Remember you can also share your tax allowance if you have no income so DH will be taxed less as he will use part of your tax allowance (its not worth masses around 300 a yr I think.

Jericha · 27/01/2021 12:50

Depends on your outgoings but I think you'd struggle on £24k for a family of three in the Bath/Bristol area. As with most places there are cheaper and more expensive areas here to rent or buy but once you then factor in utilities, food, travel costs, a little bit aside for emergencies, Christmas, pensions for you both etc I think it could be a struggle. Have you found somewhere you'd like to move to and know rough costs?

CheddarGorgeous · 27/01/2021 12:50

Thanks @StephenBelafonte I always worry when the thread title says "partner".

DaphneBridgerton · 27/01/2021 12:51

Not sure how it is possible for you not to know whether this plan is financially feasible for you...
As PP have said, it's literally a case of Income vs Outgoings
Personally I know that being on maternity for me will be quite expensive as I'll hopefully be travelling to see friends, planning days out etc. Depends how you will spend your time as a SAHM

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/01/2021 12:51

Have you and he had a conversation about what will happen if you want to go back to work? It's his preference that his child has a mum who stays at home, but you may find that you want to go back to work at some point.

user194729573 · 27/01/2021 12:51

What about when something breaks? Or if he becomes too ill to work?

What's the plan for accessing money? Are you going to have to ask him and justify yourself each time you need to buy something?

GlowingOrb · 27/01/2021 12:53

The only way to know for sure is to try it. That’s what we did. Once I got pregnant we started putting my salary directly into savings and we trialed living on just his income. I was actually the higher earner. It worked just fine.

Sounds like you are past that point op. I would just write up a budget. So it annually so you account for all expenses.

TrashKitten10 · 27/01/2021 12:55

Nobody can really answer this without knowing your outgoings. You really need to sit down and work out exactly how much you currently spend and how much extra you expect to spend once baby arrives.

Remember the little things add up. If you're home all day you will be using more electric and heating, you'll be running the washing machine more often with a baby, especially if they're sicky. If you want to meet other mums and do groups they can be £6+ a session. That's on top of all the other general baby expenses- milk, nappies, clothes.

Budget up a worst case scenario and see if you can afford it. Although if you've already given up your job and presumably won't get maternity pay it's a bit late if you realise you can't.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/01/2021 12:56

Definetly do an income total and an expenditure total.

Have one joint account set up with all the direct debits coming out of it. Have another joint account which you both use for the day to day spending. Dh can put his whole salary in the day2day account with a standing order into the other one to keep the direct debits serviced.

Agree between you a weekly food budget, any (identical) personal spending money, and an amount to use as a family as needed.

Please ensure that you do not find yourself in a situation where you have to ask for money or, worse, have to justify what you are asking for.

RileyG73 · 27/01/2021 12:57

We would die on that amount. We earn 50k between us. We like stuff though, we have lots of food, drinks, days out, activities, classes (scouts, music, clubs) etc...

But if you would be happy living very frugal then go for it. Everyone feels different

ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown · 27/01/2021 12:57

Did your job end (eg Covid reasons) or did you resign? If you resigned you've basically made your mind up already.
Since your dh benefited from having a parent at home, has he thought of taking parental leave to benefit his dc with having their dad looking after them?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/01/2021 12:58

@RB68

Remember you can also share your tax allowance if you have no income so DH will be taxed less as he will use part of your tax allowance (its not worth masses around 300 a yr I think.
Great tip!
Coffeeandcocopops · 27/01/2021 12:58

I’m sure your H is happy with you being at home. Means he can focus 100% on his career and take on new opportunities. But what about you? How will you find your pension? Can’t you go part time so that you are financially better off? Say he loses his job? Is sick or leaves? How will you manage?

Bitbusyattheminute · 27/01/2021 13:00

My mum was a sahm and we were poor. I would much rather have had 2 working parents and holidays, non homemade clothes and no constant fear of my dad losing his job.

Ideasplease322 · 27/01/2021 13:01

If you are thinking about doing this for a few years you need to consider who has the r he eaters earning power.

Could you earn more than your husband of you worked and he stayed at home?

It doesn’t always have to be the woman as the stay at home parent - often the man earns less and it would make more financial sense for home to give up work.

£24k would be tight.

Crazybunnylady123 · 27/01/2021 13:01

If it is important to you go for it, we did. We are on about the same salary and we are managing with two adults, a pre schooler and a baby.
Now we afford to pay the mortgage and the bills and eat quite well. We have the Internet, Disney + and amazon prime.
We can’t afford a holiday, or to go to the cinema as a family or anything like that. But we manage and I’m home with the kids.
It is a sacrifice I'm willing to take till kids are both in school. They I will get a job to pay for extras to benefit our family moving forwards.

Ideasplease322 · 27/01/2021 13:02

Sorry for the typos😩

I of course meant who has the greatest earning power

Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 27/01/2021 13:03

It's a low amount imo. If your DH is the sole earner you really need good life and critical illness insurance for him and this can be expensive, have you looked into that? You should also have a pension in your name, can your DH's salary cover that?

ExplodingCarrots · 27/01/2021 13:03

Will you have enough to cover yourselves on a rainy day? Will there be an ability to have savings ? When your child gets older and wants to do some clubs will that doable? I think personally it'll be quite tight. I become a SAHM when DH was earning £50k and he's had a promotion or 2 now and earns more . We live quite comfortably but still have to be careful. We have savings and treats etc When DD wanted to do clubs we were able to do it without having to sacrifice . If we want a holiday we have to save.

unicornparty · 27/01/2021 13:04

I think its really low. I'd be miserable living a life on that. Wouldn't you have got maternity pay if you'd kept your job throughout maternity? What made you leave already?

MumofSpud · 27/01/2021 13:04

You are going to have a good think about your lifestyle and whether this will mean long-term.
Also would going part-time be an option? Would it be easy to reverse this decision in a few years ? (Just in case you change your mind!)
Also children are bloody expensive!
I would say don't make any huge decisions just yet!

Peanutbutteryogurt · 27/01/2021 13:05

We couldn't live on anywhere near that but we live in the south east.

Why have you already stopped work rather than take mat leave?

MotherOfChaos28 · 27/01/2021 13:09

We managed on this when we had our youngest and I was a sahm until after she was two. Our mortgage is 450 a month. We just made sure we stuck to a budget and I was strict about meal planning and ensuring I knew where every penny was going. We even managed at least one decent family day out a month and a few treats throughout the month but you really need to be on top of managing your outgoings and not spending money you don’t need to, for example taking drinks with you when you go out not buying takeaway coffee or buying a big shop rather than keep nipping in and out of the supermarket every couple of days because it mounts up really quickly.

MotherOfChaos28 · 27/01/2021 13:10

For context though we live in ne England though so expenses not as high as some other areas

LittleBearPad · 27/01/2021 13:10

What disposable income does that leave you with. Babies don’t have to cost a lot nor do small children but only you can know what you spend your money on and will want for your kids.

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