Mum left me with 80k of debt in my name

[dreamingofautumn]

Hi everyone,

I’m just after a bit of advice, I’ll try and keep this brief. I’ve always had a strained relationship with my mother to the point I decided to move out when I was 21 into the local uni accommodation. During the three years of my degree I didn’t change my address details or anything to reflect where I was living and unknown to me my mother had taken out a huge number of finance agreements in my name- phone contracts, payday loans, credit cards, store cards, catalogues- you name it she took it out, totalling around 80k. When I finished my degree and had to move home after my Landlord sold the flat I was renting I discovered the mountain of debt collection letters she was hiding. I was obviously fuming and went to call the police but she played the mental health card and threatened to commit suicide (she had tried this in the past) and swore if I didn’t contact the police she’d pay it all off. We set up payment plans with the companies which she paid for about a year then promptly left my dad and I’ve never seen her since and it’s been 4 years.

I’m in a relatively good job but even so I feel like I’m barely making a dent in all this debt. The lenders have been incredibly supportive about setting up payment plans for the most part but my credit score is shot at the bottom end of very poor, I have 4 CCJ’s and countless defaults. I’m 28 and I’m stuck living at home with my dad because I can’t pass the credit check to rent let alone ever get approved for a mortgage. I was young and naive and shouldn’t have trusted my mother but I honestly don’t see a way out of this and don’t know how I’ll ever manage to rebuild my credit score

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you for all the helpful advice, I’m sorry that others have went through similar. I had spoke to Citizens advice previously and they sent me to Stepchange who did an assessment, they said an IVA wasn’t suitable at that point but it was a few years ago and my employment/wages have changed since then. I had considered bankruptcy too but was worried about how difficult it would be to get credit after the discharge of it and rebuild etc.. Plus I’d feel awful being a burden on my dad for the entire time not being able to move out.

I’ll definitely contact CAP, I’d never heard of them before.

I do realise now that I should never have started paying back the debts myself but it got to a point where we had bailiffs knocking at the door from the county court regarding the CCJ’s and I panicked and I guess it just escalated from there. I think bailiffs etc.. Have a way of making it seem like there’s only one way out.

I wish I had the fight in me (or the funds!) to pursue private legal action but in all honesty I’m more concerned about how I can move forward from this and move out and have some financial independence. Plus I wouldn’t even know where to start with locating my mum.

I’ll make some phone calls to the organisations mentioned and request some up to date details from all the accounts to help and confirm what my options are. It’s really helpful to have an idea of things from what people haven’t suggested.

Thank you again for the advice, I really appreciate it.

You are not liable on these debts... I'd be amazed if the repayment plans would stand up in court. You'd do well to get some legal advice... At least speak to citizens advice.

I've been told that you can stop bailiffs coming by writing to the companies involved and letting them know that you dispute the debt.

Do remember that even if you didn't change the details your uni will have records of you living there. It might help.

Why on earth people are suggesting bankruptcy I don’t know. It will seriously limit your credit options, mortgages and even your job for 7 to 10 years. There’s no way i'd be employed with a bankruptcy charge against me

Because it’s a legitimate option open to the OP that will draw a line under this period of their life and allow them to move on with a clean slate?

Yes, some professions will not allow someone with a bankruptcy on record to be employed. But it’s certainly not every profession.

IVAs are recommended if bankruptcy is not an option (for instance for people whose profession prohibits it). DMPs are designed for smaller sums and temporary but improving situations. Both will still wreck your credit rating just as long as a bankruptcy and ironically often give you less flexibility to save up and get back on an even keel.

Pursuing it legally is another option but it will be time-consuming and stressful.

The OP must research all the options but it’s not a shit idea to go bankrupt at all. A lot of people don’t really understand that it’s not as scary or permanent as it sounds for the majority of people.

Can you not go bankrupt and in about 5 years your credit score will be high enough for you to lend x

I had considered bankruptcy too but was worried about how difficult it would be to get credit after the discharge of it and rebuild etc.. Plus I’d feel awful being a burden on my dad for the entire time not being able to move out.

Bankruptcy itself lasts for 1 year, usually. You have to go to court, say you need to default on all your debts, pay a sum of a few hundreds later and then the Official Receiver goes through all your financial details and draws up a budget for you to live on for a year, and an amount you’ll pay every month that the courts will distribute to your creditors. You can only have a basic bank account during that year and you can’t take out any credit. You live within the budget the OR set, but it is not punitive - you can have plenty to live on although not luxuries. You can even say you pay rent to your Dad of £x pcm and that will be factored into your budget allowance.

After a year it is done - you’re discharged, you can start to rebuild your credit rating.

Yes, it will remain on your record for 6 years and in some circumstances you may need to disclose if after that. Some professions e.g. accountancy won’t allow you to practice if your a discharged bankrupt. But the effect of ongoing DMPs and IVAs is pretty similar in many ways.

Citizens Advice or Christians Against Poverty will give you good advice.

Debt stays on your credit file for 6 years. I do think you'd be better off declaring bankruptcy (you have no house to lose) and you can rebuild your life and your credit score eventually.

Seek legal advice though, in challenging the debt first.

But I'd say bankruptcy in your situation, would be a smart move.

So sorry this has happened to you

OP, if you're not prepared to fight this then file for bankruptcy.
Personally, I'd fight it.

A IVA may be the right option but I'd also think about pursuing the creditors to drop the debt but you need some legal advice. Essentially they should have checked they were lending to the person they assumed they were and that there was no coercion involved and it seems that may not apply here

I’d feel awful being a burden on my dad for the entire time not being able to move out

That's all very well, but they were married when this was happening even though she left him later ... so where was he when she was accumulating cash and goods to the value of £80k which presumably he must have derived some benefit from?

Why were you speaking to her creditors instead of him?

More to the point, what's his view of it now and what's he doing to help you to resolve this mess?

@NoSquirrels

Why on earth people are suggesting bankruptcy I don’t know. It will seriously limit your credit options, mortgages and even your job for 7 to 10 years. There’s no way i'd be employed with a bankruptcy charge against me

Because it’s a legitimate option open to the OP that will draw a line under this period of their life and allow them to move on with a clean slate?

Yes, some professions will not allow someone with a bankruptcy on record to be employed. But it’s certainly not every profession.

IVAs are recommended if bankruptcy is not an option (for instance for people whose profession prohibits it). DMPs are designed for smaller sums and temporary but improving situations. Both will still wreck your credit rating just as long as a bankruptcy and ironically often give you less flexibility to save up and get back on an even keel.

Pursuing it legally is another option but it will be time-consuming and stressful.

The OP must research all the options but it’s not a shit idea to go bankrupt at all. A lot of people don’t really understand that it’s not as scary or permanent as it sounds for the majority of people.

But this isn’t the OPs debt. She should go down the fraud route first

I accept bankruptcy might be an option for some and she’s made it more difficult by accepting the debt but there is no way I’d go bankrupt for fraudulent debt

My ex's mum did this to him a few years back.
We went to the police at the time and it was sorted.
She got off lightly and we didn't get saddled with her debt.

Check if the debts are covered by the consumer credit act then ask each lender to prove how they complied with the terms of the act including all necessary due diligence and required communications with you. Tell them that if they do not give you a satisfactory answer you will refer the matter to the Financial Ombudsman Service.

I actually think you need some help with this. You could try a law centre.

Before you go down the IVA or bankruptcy route, OP, it might be worth kicking the tyres on each lending decision to exhaust the lenders' internal complaints procedure and head for the financial ombudsman if you are based in England to see how each stands up to scrutiny. Sometimes, the regulatory expectations on lenders can be surprisingly high and as some PPs have alluded to, you might have some opportunity regarding how the lender can show they 'knew' their customer, in whose bank account the money was paid, where the money went given you were not present in the property when at university and so on and even were the lending decisions sound based on your income. This would be different to the approach some PPs have alluded to that you accepted the debt afterwards (an old common law issue), rather you would be kicking the tyres on their internal processes and controls. I know you said you struggle but if CAB, CAP or others can help, you might find the lenders might ultimately waive some of the debt or be made to waive it by the ombudsman, unless your mothers' actions allow them to show their lending would be considered sound.

Good luck.

I've crosse-posted with Chaz's.

Did your mum own half of the house that your dad is living in?

@dreamingofautumn

I did try right after she left my dad and stopped payments but the police said it was too difficult to prove fraud because the documentation for each account had all went to my registered address and I’d also spoken to the debt collection agencies to sort out payment plans when she’d agreed to pay it back which essentially meant I took responsibility for the debt so unless she admitted it herself they’d never be able to charge her with anything

I’d go back to police and ask to speak to an identity theft expert. There was correspondence going to an address you were not living at because you were at university- you can prove you were at university? And presumably the signatures would not be your signature. Finally, the money didn’t go to your bank account but your mothers, and she spent the money. It seems very easy to prove to me.

I do realise now that I should never have started paying back the debts myself but it got to a point where we had bailiffs knocking at the door from the county court regarding the CCJ’s and I panicked and I guess it just escalated from there. I think bailiffs etc.. Have a way of making it seem like there’s only one way out.

Please don't blame yourself. Dear collection agencies are very aggressive in pursuing payment from ANYONE and often rely on intimidation for force uninvolved family members take responsibility. For anxious people it can be a terrible thing, and you will have been shocked beyond belief when you learned what she'd done.

See if there is any way to put the responsibility back onto her - ignore and MH cries or threats of suicide - she won't do it, though she may pretend to. But whatever happens is HER responsibility.

Hang on

Is it worth getting legal advice. If your mum threatened to kill herself to make you take the debt on, couldn’t that count as coercion. ?

I accept bankruptcy might be an option for some and she’s made it more difficult by accepting the debt but there is no way I’d go bankrupt for fraudulent debt

Which is fine - that would be your choice. I’m not at all saying the OP must declare bankruptcy. It may be possible to disprove the liability and get things reduced/dropped/waived with enough time and effort.

But if the time and effort outweigh the benefit of having it all over and done with and a chance to move in, it’s not a moral decision that OP must fight it. We’d all choose differently based on our circumstances and just because you wouldn’t go bankrupt for fraudulent debt doesn’t mean it’s wrong to put that option on the table for OP.

@Zilla1
Yes my thoughts were the same. The FCA might not be impressed with their due diligence.

Oh OP this is dreadful.

Thinking of it in the same way as if a stranger stole your identity and took out a load of debt, you surely wouldn’t be responsible for that. Is it any different because that person is your mum?

As others have said though, the fact you’ve paid some might change things but it feels so so unfair.

What did your mother buy with £80,000? Is there nothing left at your home from it like jewellery that you could sell? She could have bought 2 or 3 cars for that money. Where has it all gone?

You need specialised legal/financial advice that no one on here is qualified to give.

Sometimes the Police need a bit of pushing to get going on a potentially difficult case.

Hope it gets sorted soon for you.