Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Mum left me with 80k of debt in my name

148 replies

dreamingofautumn · 10/08/2020 20:30

Hi everyone,

I’m just after a bit of advice, I’ll try and keep this brief. I’ve always had a strained relationship with my mother to the point I decided to move out when I was 21 into the local uni accommodation. During the three years of my degree I didn’t change my address details or anything to reflect where I was living and unknown to me my mother had taken out a huge number of finance agreements in my name- phone contracts, payday loans, credit cards, store cards, catalogues- you name it she took it out, totalling around 80k. When I finished my degree and had to move home after my Landlord sold the flat I was renting I discovered the mountain of debt collection letters she was hiding. I was obviously fuming and went to call the police but she played the mental health card and threatened to commit suicide (she had tried this in the past) and swore if I didn’t contact the police she’d pay it all off. We set up payment plans with the companies which she paid for about a year then promptly left my dad and I’ve never seen her since and it’s been 4 years.

I’m in a relatively good job but even so I feel like I’m barely making a dent in all this debt. The lenders have been incredibly supportive about setting up payment plans for the most part but my credit score is shot at the bottom end of very poor, I have 4 CCJ’s and countless defaults. I’m 28 and I’m stuck living at home with my dad because I can’t pass the credit check to rent let alone ever get approved for a mortgage. I was young and naive and shouldn’t have trusted my mother but I honestly don’t see a way out of this and don’t know how I’ll ever manage to rebuild my credit score Sad

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 10/08/2020 21:08

Why on earth did you accept responsibility for this huge debt. Your mother is a criminal. Go to the national papers and name and shame her for what she has done.

Frazzled2207 · 10/08/2020 21:08

I’m not an expert at all but surely this is not your debt and the lenders in the first place didn’t do their due diligence in checking that your mum wasn’t actually you. That’s not your fault.
I think i would write to the financial help columnists in the broadsheet newspapers too. And I think a good solicitor should be able to help if you can afford one.

NoSquirrels · 10/08/2020 21:10

Go bankrupt, OP.

This sort of situation is the reason the option is there.

You can do a DMP, or an IVA, and it will last for 6 years and your credit rating will be shit and you will have it all hanging over you all that time.

Or you can file for bankruptcy, and it will be the same situation of the credit black mark on your record for 6 years, but it will be over and done with and you can move on.

Over £80K is too much to expect to be able to deal with. I am just really sorry for you that no one suggested bankruptcy sooner - it is designed for someone like you.

Ooooosh · 10/08/2020 21:12

You are a victim of fraud, get legal advice and take action. Do not pay this off. You poor soul, what a selfish cow she was to do that to anybody, never mind her own flesh and blood. 💐

Chicchicchicchiclana · 10/08/2020 21:12

This all sounds so unbelievable! How on earth could a situation end up like this?

BananaPop2020 · 10/08/2020 21:12

I think the OP need to be aware of the implications of going bankrupt before she makes that decision. It will have to be granted for a start. Also, it could affect career choices and all sorts.

NoSquirrels · 10/08/2020 21:14

Posters suggesting police, lawyers etc etc - yes, it's an option.

But a long-drawn-out one with no guaranteed chance of success. Leading to more stress, more years 'fighting' it.

Bankruptcy = a clean slate.

I would choose the clean slate. It's been 4 years of wasted time already.

NoSquirrels · 10/08/2020 21:15

I think the OP need to be aware of the implications of going bankrupt before she makes that decision. It will have to be granted for a start. Also, it could affect career choices and all sorts.

Yes, I am assuming she will research it! But for a lot of people it really is a good choice, not some sort of shameful option of last resort.

www.gov.uk/bankruptcy

Chloemol · 10/08/2020 21:16

Go back to the companies and ask what bank account details she quoted when opening, where did the loans go to? What account where payment direct debits set up for for the phones? If you can price your mothers, and that some payments were made from it you might have a chance with the police

Chloemol · 10/08/2020 21:17

Also, ask for sight of the application forms, what signature was on there

dotoallasyouwouldbedoneby · 10/08/2020 21:19

@Chloemol

Also, ask for sight of the application forms, what signature was on there
100% this. It is not your debt.
ThickFast · 10/08/2020 21:20

God that sounds awful for you. Do you know where she is at all?

LadyB49 · 10/08/2020 21:20

Of ok went for bankruptcy how soon could she apply for a mortgage??

LadyB49 · 10/08/2020 21:21

ok = op

FindingNeverland1 · 10/08/2020 21:22

Try the police again before filing for bankruptcy. That should be last resort.

Have you approached a solicitor for some legal advice?

TrindleGin · 10/08/2020 21:22

It is fraud and illegal get legal advice what an assole doing that

BananaPop2020 · 10/08/2020 21:23

I would imagine not until she has been discharged from the bankruptcy for at least a year.

Beeorwasp · 10/08/2020 21:27

Oh OP, my sister did the exact same to me (and also later to our mum but that was smaller amounts). I was 17 at the time and legally unable to have signed into many agreements so they were all wiped off but I do remember my parents getting legal advice as to how to get it cleared. It was basically passed back to my sister but at no point did she ever apologise or acknowledge it to me. I’m so sorry she did this to you.
There’s Citizens Advice they may be able to take on your case-ask to see a paid case supervisor. Some solicitors offer a free consult also, and many companies will wipe the debt if its down to ‘mental health’, they have to legally. Good luck.

dotoallasyouwouldbedoneby · 10/08/2020 21:28

Presumably you can show that none of the amounts/proceeds ever hit your bank account? Get legal advice asap.

AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit · 10/08/2020 21:29

This is awful! She has ruined your life OP please get legal advice

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 10/08/2020 21:32

The police weren’t interested in investigating this but you still need to get advice on whether/how it might be proven that these weren’t your debts. Not for a criminal case but to the various companies/financial institutions owed this money.

I’m not suggesting jumping into an expensive legal battle, I mean laying out what happened and establishing how it might be investigated. Maybe citizens advice could point you in the right direction? You won’t be the first person this has happened to Sad.

I suspect the fact you accepted these as your debts and have been paying them for some time is going to make it even more difficult unfortunately but I do think getting some legal advice is the first step. If it can’t be proven well at least you’ll know and then you can consider whether bankruptcy is the best option though again, you really need to take proper advice on that.

ShellsAndSunrises · 10/08/2020 21:35

This happened to me, nearly 15 years ago now. My mum, too. Some debts were okay to get rid of; some were nightmares. It felt relentless. The police couldn’t or wouldn’t help, Action Fraud did nothing.

I have no real advice, I fought as hard as I could but got nowhere really... but I’m 30 now and life is better. There was life at the end. I just wanted to share that, as I remember the endless hopeless feeling.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 10/08/2020 21:41

I’d also spoken to the debt collection agencies to sort out payment plans when she’d agreed to pay it back which essentially meant I took responsibility for the debt

I suspect that this is the problem.

Had you refused to pay a penny initially, then they would have had to pursue her. Your mother took advantage of you,

I think, as others have said, your best bet is to contact the CBA. I'm so sorry this has happened - you must be worried sick.

Couchbettato · 10/08/2020 21:41

Follow this legally OP. What if for example, your mum died and couldn't repay that debt. Even if you two were on good standing, by not taking this further legally when you can/could, you have agreed to pay the debt in your name.

I read the police werent much help but you should seek some advice from a solicitor that specialises in financial fraud.

You may already have evidence of her admitting to the fraud.

Ontheboardwalk · 10/08/2020 21:42

Why on earth people are suggesting bankruptcy I don’t know. It will seriously limit your credit options, mortgages and even your job for 7 to 10 years. There’s no way i'd be employed with a bankruptcy charge against me

You are on a sticky wicket as you’ve acknowledged the debts and made payments towards them

Please formally report your mum and speak to citizens advice

Swipe left for the next trending thread