New mum-to-be need advice about how on earth I afford this!!!

[MOGMOGMOG85]

Hi there,

I'm 17 weeks pregnant and recently spoke to a friend about childcare costs and was horrified at how expensive it is! I currently am a relatively low wage of £21000 and after my travel expenses and taxes and when I worked out childcare costs I would be working full time and bringing home £200 a month which I'm sorry there is no way I'm doing that!

My friend said I might qualify for universal credit for childcare costs - I wondered if anyone might know whether I would or not? My partner earns £27000 but again after travel and taxes etc brings home about £1350 a month. He might just be able to pay our mortgage and bills but I will need to earn enough for food at the very least and preferably a little extra to give us some breathing room - what if the fridge breaks down or something like that??

I'm currently weighing up self-employed options that would allow me to work from home with my baby. One idea I've had is buying and selling stuff on an online shop, as I will have time to go to auctions and jumble sales etc (when normal life resumes). Another is a vegan food delivery service from home for which you need minimal qualifications to start up. I think in reality I'm going to need to find a variety of ways to make little bits here and there. I've done it before (I once had 7 different jobs) and am quite adaptable and stealthy at finding unusual ways to make money (not loads, I wish, but enough to get by anyway), but obviously we're heading into a complete unknown with the economy right now and I've also never done it with a baby in tow! I'm also going to be trying to live on a shoestring at the same time which makes things harder - re-usable nappies and everything cooked from scratch etc.

Anyway I guess I'm asking for advice on any government benefits I might be entitled to - my suspicion is that my partners wage means we won't qualify for anything except child benefit...

And also asking for experiences and ideas from those of you who went self employed to make your family work? I know a lot of women do it, and it's really amazing how adaptable we are to make sure our families get by. I am currently a gardener but employed gardening work is so low paid. My current job at £21000 is basically the top end of what you could earn and I've usually been on a lot less! I could do some private work on the weekends but I'm hoping to find weekday or evening work as my partner works late and we only really spend quality time on the weekends! I have half an eye on making sure our relationship stays healthy too and that we get to spend time all together as a family! A lot to think about and balance up, and it seems its me who's having to do the working out - partner, as the main earner, doesn't have to worry about changing a thing :-/

Big wave hello to any mums-to-be out there in a similar position or mums who have already gone through this!

xxx

Go self-employed and do a mixture of being a part time virtual assistant, a gardener, and the £10-a-day jobs on the long-running thread on this board. You will make more than the £200 and be at home with your baby. I recommend Crisp and Appen on that thread.

Don't get sucked into any MLM direct selling schemes.

Don't get sucked into any debt. Take a look at the Dave Ramsey Method.

Good luck!

Thanks @MrsWombat - someone else recommended Crisp and Appen and I'll def check out that thread. I was confused about what an online risk analyst is though (for crisp)?? xx

@MOGMOGMOG85 It's social media moderation. You decide whether something needs deleting or not.

Hi OP. Just to let you know the childcare voucher scheme you can get through work has finished to new parents, it's only for existing parents until their children leave school. The government tax free account has been brought in to reflect vouchers being stopped. You mentioned your partner does unpaid overtime? Once your child is here I would hope his company are flexible so could he say he cannot do anymore work then his contracted hours? Or be paid for it? It's a tough conversation to have but if it's not in his contract then hopefully they are understanding.

@Peach1204 thanks for the info! No its just the way they are expected to work he can't ask for more. However we had a conversation this morning and I made it clear to him I need family support and we are going to have to move/he is going to have to find new work, unless he can find a way of progressing at work. It may seem harsh, and Ive never been so pushy about my needs before but I truly don't know how I'll manage doing childcare 12 hours a day and then trying to earn some money in the evenings. Having grandparents to drop the kids round for an hour or 2 in the early evening whilst I do some work will make it bearable/manageable as well as the much lower cost of commuting if we move. It was a hard conversation but I think he now understands that I'm basically saying "no" to the situation I'd be stuck in here with high living costs, no support network and me being the one trying to pick up the shortfall in our income whilst doing all the childcare. I think it was a hard pill for him to swallow, especially since I've always supported him in his career, but I think he understands. It sounds like there is an option at work for him to progress his career and he should know in the next month or two - so hopefully me being pushy might even help him out of this rut he's been stuck in career-wise, that would be a great outcome!

@MrsWombat I did wonder if that's what it was. Have you done it? I've heard awful things about the people who have to do those jobs, don't you see really awful things on there (like murder, suicide etc)? Or is it filtered in some way before it reaches you so you don't see the worst of what is on there? I really couldn't do that job if it was unfiltered just in case I saw something awful, I can't even watch most detective dramas let alone horror films as I'm too squamish! xx

@MOGMOGMOG85 it is a hard conversation to have but sounds like it was positive! Maybe he has previously been worried about taking the leap but sounds like he can do it which is good. I hope everything gets sorted for you. We are in the fortunate position of having family close who will be happy to be called on. Xx

@MOGMOGMOG85 This one is fine. It's angry people you are moderating rather than the dark web but if you are used to mumsnet it will be a walk in the park! The social media website's own algorithims and filters blocks 99.9% of the shocking stuff out, and this is on top of that via a third party company.

@Peach1204 thank you!

@MrsWombat ah well thats a relief! I actually spend too much time on social media getting involved in other peoples bickering and trying to stop it getting too nasty so sounds like i've been working for free xD thanks I'll def put my name forward for that one and check out the other too :) which work do you do for Appen?

OP, three points on your husband's work - first take what he says about 'everyone has to' with a pinch of salt. I am in law and I know a lot of workaholics (and btw never did shorter hours than parakegals working for me!). Has he actually asked about working from home a day a week to save on commute costs (not childcare - he would still need childcare). Unless it's a very small firm there absolutely will be flexible working. (2) you mentioned that you know the bar is a pipe dream. He does need to be realistic - if he's been searching for pupilage for 7 (?) years it's really unlikely to happen. I'm know that's harsh but it's true. He needs to move on. If he gets into the right turn, paralegal to solicitor is far more likely (although still really competitive) - I am not sure of the retraining that would be required. (3) I agree with a previous poster - paralegals can be paid way more that 27k, particularly if he's commuting to London. He might need to change area of law but that's worth looking at seriously.

@Hargao some valid points, he certainly could earn more if he changed area. Re: commuting costs they would let him go down to 3 days a week at the office/2 at home but sadly a rail season ticket doesn't do part time so it would be the same cost. I'm essentially telling him its time to give up on pupillage now. Its a shame because he got first reserve in one of the top chambers in the country 2 years ago, so excruciatingly close and definitely shows he is the right type of candidate. He really has some amazing credentials and is incredibly capable, he is highly valued at the places he has worked. He would 100% be an incredible barrister and contribute a lot to any chambers. But there are so many more incredible candidates out there. Its a brutal lottery every year though and I can't afford to wait around here any more (sadly) now a baby is being thrown into the mix.

Please do not give up secure work at the moment under any circumstances. Think of the long game - pension, sick pay, term time working when your child is older. They are predicting millions of people will be unemployed soon. It will only be for 3 years until the free places kick in. I wouldn't move house without secure jobs for both of you at the other end either. You won't be entitled to benefits.

As others have said, try your hand at earning additional amounts whilst you're on maternity leave but, realistically, with a baby to look after this will be difficult. Longer term you could build up a self employed business once your child is older maybe.

@Lightsabre I certainly won't hand in my notice until the end but I can't live for 3 years using food banks, it makes no sense! I laid out my expenses in a previous post and we just don't have enough. If I can earn anything over £200 a month working in the evenings or from home it will make far more sense. I know its a terrible time but I don't know what to do. I currently drive over an hour each way to work. Plus we are moving closer to family so ending this job is inevitable.

Look on the turn2us website for the universal credit calculator op.

Childcare is a crippling cost. You just have to accept that things will be tight for a few years. I buy stuff second hand off ebay, baby equipment through mums groups on Facebook etc. Sorry it's such a shock but it is really really expensive.