New mum-to-be need advice about how on earth I afford this!!!

[MOGMOGMOG85]

Hi there,

I'm 17 weeks pregnant and recently spoke to a friend about childcare costs and was horrified at how expensive it is! I currently am a relatively low wage of £21000 and after my travel expenses and taxes and when I worked out childcare costs I would be working full time and bringing home £200 a month which I'm sorry there is no way I'm doing that!

My friend said I might qualify for universal credit for childcare costs - I wondered if anyone might know whether I would or not? My partner earns £27000 but again after travel and taxes etc brings home about £1350 a month. He might just be able to pay our mortgage and bills but I will need to earn enough for food at the very least and preferably a little extra to give us some breathing room - what if the fridge breaks down or something like that??

I'm currently weighing up self-employed options that would allow me to work from home with my baby. One idea I've had is buying and selling stuff on an online shop, as I will have time to go to auctions and jumble sales etc (when normal life resumes). Another is a vegan food delivery service from home for which you need minimal qualifications to start up. I think in reality I'm going to need to find a variety of ways to make little bits here and there. I've done it before (I once had 7 different jobs) and am quite adaptable and stealthy at finding unusual ways to make money (not loads, I wish, but enough to get by anyway), but obviously we're heading into a complete unknown with the economy right now and I've also never done it with a baby in tow! I'm also going to be trying to live on a shoestring at the same time which makes things harder - re-usable nappies and everything cooked from scratch etc.

Anyway I guess I'm asking for advice on any government benefits I might be entitled to - my suspicion is that my partners wage means we won't qualify for anything except child benefit...

And also asking for experiences and ideas from those of you who went self employed to make your family work? I know a lot of women do it, and it's really amazing how adaptable we are to make sure our families get by. I am currently a gardener but employed gardening work is so low paid. My current job at £21000 is basically the top end of what you could earn and I've usually been on a lot less! I could do some private work on the weekends but I'm hoping to find weekday or evening work as my partner works late and we only really spend quality time on the weekends! I have half an eye on making sure our relationship stays healthy too and that we get to spend time all together as a family! A lot to think about and balance up, and it seems its me who's having to do the working out - partner, as the main earner, doesn't have to worry about changing a thing :-/

Big wave hello to any mums-to-be out there in a similar position or mums who have already gone through this!

xxx

I have inboxed you

Can you get a Evening/weekend job? Shops can sometimes take on weekend shifts etc. Our local hospital sometimes advertises for records department staff for evening and weekend shifts.

@FartingNora she doesn’t rent she has a mortgage, universal credit won’t pay a mortgage so that’s wrong

Thanks @Anniissa - ooh my goodness my eyes popped out when you mentioned that you know paralegals on those wages! Maybe he does have more earning potential in future then. All I know is he works long hours, is incredibly stressed and definitely does most of the legwork in the cases they cover (as in the paralegals do most of the billable hours, not that the solicitor doesn't work hard too!) and it doesn't seem like much of a salary! Its environmental which may explain that he's not on those wages! He loves his job and I am also really proud of the work their team does as I am a massive nature-lover. Many years ago he was offered a training contract and it was in environmental law, but simultaneously he was offered a bursary to do his bar training. He is still not ready to give up on the barrister dream, and I do sympathise as he has worked so hard and is so capable, but as we know it can often be a pipe-dream even if you are brilliant and qualified to the hilt. Thanks for the tips on other areas he could transfer to, it's def worth thinking about as I'm sure he could earn more in a different profession. I don't want to push him to give up his dream but I also am factoring in my own happiness as having meaningful employment of some kind is important to me too! xx

Your energy bills seem extortionate OP. Can you switch?

Thanks @maxelly lots to think about there. I'm not going to get promoted or earn more, I'm a sole gardener and there is not much further to go in this profession. I could end up as senior gardener (maybe earning £25k) or head gardener (£30k) in the long run if I go for those jobs when I feel I have enough experience. Its not ever going to be a well paid profession though. But yes pension contributions are an issue. As is being married. Thanks for your advice!

Also thanks to the others for giving me your experience and what you think was the best choice in the long run - it does remind me not to just focus on the short term. Whoever said planning for a second child was important is spot on too! At the moment OH has said no to any more but I'm determined we won't just have the 1 so I should def weigh it up as an option.

@Hippofrog thanks - that tip about evening/weekend hospital records is a good one! Always good to have more ideas :)

Meaningful employment will matter in so many ways. That's a good thing to aim for (especially if a good salary package is part of meaningful for you!)

I've found children get more expensive as they get older (more activities, need kit for activities, pocket money, etc, etc) obviously you only pay for what you can afford but I suspect when baby is 8,9 or 10 you'll be glad you kept working.

I'm there now (one at almost 14 and one who is 10) I'm so glad I didn't stop working.

The growth in my pension alone has been worth it. The contribution my employer pays would be lost to me if I didn't work. (I get 6% from my employer)

If you work at a school does that mean you are a local govt employee? There's pluses and minuses to that but worth finding out about all the pluses now.

Also @SciFiScream I forgot to say when I had 7 jobs it was all sorts of weird low paid work, I wouldn't exactly call them careers. Stuff like working as a PA, group facilitator at a homeless group, project worker on a very tiny part time contract for an oral history project, all really interesting stuff but a bit all over the place really. But yeah I am good at finding little jobs and pulling stuff together, but its always low paid stuff that just allows me to get by rather than career progression stuff. Money has never been a priority to me before but now suddenly it is - the joys of being pregnant :D

To the people who say I should have savings you're being extremely judgemental - I have none and I explained why in previous posts. I managed to buy my own place which is a huge thing and furnish it too but no I'm currently a bit broke after all that. For a whole decade escaping the rental market was my top priority because I know how unstable it can make your life and how much money you are just throwing down the drain. I'm pleased I'll have that little bit of security for the next generation, now I just have to work out how to hold onto it!

Anyway thanks for the useful comments (again) and I really won't be replying any more because a lot of people on here are just wasting my time rather than contributing anything useful and I cba :)

He earns £27k and has £1300 a month take home? How does that work out? I earn a bit more and take home £1700 a month, which is after paying a wodge towards my workplace pension.

@PlanDeRaccordement

That’s tough OP. I could not do it on such a low income so no advice for you. Just encouragement that many people do make it work, so it is possible. In my area there was a parent co-operative where parents took turns childminding each other’s babies/toddlers so you could part pay for childminding and part “work it off” by taking a turn childminding others children.

You do realise 48k is hardly a low income family? The issue is the fortune they're spending on commuting.

@Miseryl she said... after commute!

You do realise 48k is hardly a low income family? The issue is the fortune they're spending on commuting.

It is a low combined income to raise a family on in London, in my opinion. The average wage in London s £37k, so a combined income of £72k. A combined income of £48k is well below London average.

OP , the smart thing to do would be to go self employed and claim Universal Credit based on your partners income and you making no significant profit in the first year.

UC is exceptionally good in this scenario.

As a rough estimate , with £860 child care costs a month and his £27k income and you starting a new business .. you would get £591 a month in UC.. this is however a rough estimate. UC is quite complicated but if you PM me I will ask you some specifics figures and give you an accurate estimate.

Self employed income does not reduce UC in the same way that PAYE does as you can claim numerous expenses against it. Depending on the business.
As I say it's complicated but happy to help if you want.

Joint income of £48k you have to be joking me?! Our joint income is under £30k

So you have post-tax household takehome income of £3,100? And you’re paying £720 for commuting? That seems extremely high. I agree that your energy costs are high too. Won’t you be eligible for child benefit? That will bring £80 a month in which will help ...

People saying 'joint income of £48k !! We have only XXX and manage fine' are posting incredibly pointless jibes at the OP. !

How much YOU earn is irrelevant..

...unless you have EXACTLY the same bills, mortgage, childcare, other outgoings AND commuting costs as the OP.

What the people on much less never mention is how much help they might get benefits wise or give context on their situation - 'we manage on £20,000' is all well and good if you get free childcare from grandparents and live in an area with super cheap housing for example. A flippant we manage so you should doesn't take into account individual circumstances

If you are a gardener, then could you take a course in garden design and go into that side of it? You can do that sort of thing freelance.

You really need to shift how you think about this. You only need childcare when BOTH of you are at work. It is a joint expense not something that all comes out of your wage so it's barely worth working.

@disorganisedsecretsquirrel

People saying 'joint income of £48k !! We have only XXX and manage fine' are posting incredibly pointless jibes at the OP. !

How much YOU earn is irrelevant..

...unless you have EXACTLY the same bills, mortgage, childcare, other outgoings AND commuting costs as the OP.

Agree...and on top of that also live in London, one of the most high cost of living cities in the world.

How are 50% of childcare costs leaving you with only £200?

@SimonJT

How are 50% of childcare costs leaving you with only £200?

Rtt. Op has explained that her partners wages cover all the bills and there's basically nothing left fro mthat, so any expenses after that come out of her money. If the dp pays half the childcare op will need to pay half of something else. It's moving money in circles for semantics

Jesus some of these suggestions are ridiculous; look after the baby all day and then go to work at night?!
Yep, I did 12 hour night duty, alternate nights without sleeping during the day for 5 years, with 2 children. I had absolutely no choice because husband was a farmer.

@Strawberrycreamsundae

Jesus some of these suggestions are ridiculous; look after the baby all day and then go to work at night?! Yep, I did 12 hour night duty, alternate nights without sleeping during the day for 5 years, with 2 children. I had absolutely no choice because husband was a farmer.

Presumably though you at least napped overnight, even with regular feeds. So you have the kids in the day / work a job and then do nights with the kids but sleep when they do. Being awake all day with a baby and then working say 10-6am means literally no sleep at all, not even a dose between feeds. I'm not saying you didn't have it hard, but I don't think it's the same thing