Partner wants to get married - what happens to my house

[basil9456]

Hello,

I am 62, I worked for 40 years and then was fortunate to be able to retire early at 56 with a good lump sum pay out and pension. I paid off my mortgage a number of years ago and have lived in the same house for 30 years where I raised my family (3 children now adults).

I got divorced in my 30s and never had a serious relationship after that until now I’ve been with a woman for the past 5 years, same age as me. My partner has debts and lives in a house with shared equity which she is struggling to maintain.

She is keen to sell her house, move in with me and get married. I never saw myself as remarrying.

I also felt I would leave my house to my 3 children when I die. Can anyone advise if I were to marry her and she moved in with me, if I died first I presume my partner would inherit my house? And after she dies would it go to her children and completely cut my children out?

Thanks

Having gone through 2 expensive and painful divorces i would never remarry...its nothing to do with being worth more...its about being older and protecting what ive built up for my kids.

Please don’t marry. She sounds keen just as my step mil was. When fil died it was hell. Still sorting the situation now. He died in 2011. Massive headache for the family who are now split. She promised the world, then he died 😕

Me again. Be careful or letting her stay til she dies. He died in June 2011, by sept the new boyfriend and her were using it as a weekend home, rubbing our faces in it as we lived next door. Parties, friends up all while we were grieving. We paid her out eventually 😕

I'm another who says don't get married - never mind your children's inheritance but what would happen in a divorce? She may be entitled to a claim on your assets and then where would you be! See a solicitor!

Don’t get married above all because you sound like you think she may not put your children first. There are many logistical difficulties that come into play whether through divorce or death. Don’t marry to protect your children and don’t marry because you aren’t sure she wouldn’t want to profit.

Absolutely do NOT get married.

Marriage is first and foremost a legal contract. Ask yourself what is the point of marrying her, when you could lose so much and she could only benefit? Getting married might make sense for a younger couple planning on raising children, or perhaps an older couple with no children. But not in your situation.

Of course she’s keen to get married. Don’t get swept along in it!
I am quite a bit younger and would think VERY carefully about getting married, having worked hard for what I have. The fact that someone could claim some of it is scary.

Don't marry her if you don't want to. If you want to, get legal advice so that the house will still go to your children. You don't sound much like you're keen on her though. If you don't want to see her looked after too I would question your feelings for her

If I was in this situation, and I wanted to remarry, I think I would put my house on the market.

You say your partner has a jointly owned house to sell. I would buy a property with her where we put in 50/50, once both properties are sold. The new house should be owned as joint tenants with the restriction "no disposition by a sole proprietor... " and Wills made to leave your own shares in trust to your respective children.

Remaining funds from your current house sale can be gifted to your children now.

If I was the party with less money that scenario (starting off 50/50) would be a relief to me.

Tenants in common, I meant, not joint tenants

Unless you are religious there is no advantage in marrying her. You could let her move in rent free on the basis she lets out her place and you both get half the rent from that each and get a solicitor to draw up a cohabitation agreement for her to sign before she moves in.

I would not want anyone other than my children to have my house (one reason I have not moved a man in here actually and don't think I ever would now - it's not worth the hassle).

I wouldn't marry if I were you. I know there's talk of pre-nups and water-tight wills. But I'm recalling an ex + a friend of mine who got nothing after their parents died, despite will. I can't recall the ins & outs now but 2nd wife got everything and wouldn't share.

I've been with DP 6 years we live 15 minutes down the road from each other. We both have grown up DCs. We've discussed that we won't be getting married. I want to leave my home + inherited house & land abroad to my DCs. He has similar, & wants to do same for his DCs. We're in our 50s, both been married before. Don't see the need for marriage at this age and stage in life. We have companionship, we socialise and holiday together, spend time at each others' homes. If you already have this with your partner and it suits you, don't let anyone push you into marriage. You'll only end up unhappy.

@Fleamaker123

But aren't all wills held somewhere central, and when the estate goes through probate they search for the latest copy (very simplistic I'm sure it's more technical!)

No, not at all. You can store your will with your solicitor if you like but equally you could keep it under your mattress.

@CherrySpritz

Ah I'm getting mixed up
That's risky isn't it... what's to stop a member of the family finding it then destroying it if it's not in their favour? Does a second copy have to be held anywhere? I suppose it's up to them to make sure they do.

[quote Fleamaker123]@CherrySpritz

Ah I'm getting mixed up
That's risky isn't it... what's to stop a member of the family finding it then destroying it if it's not in their favour? Does a second copy have to be held anywhere? I suppose it's up to them to make sure they do.[/quote]
There’s nothing to stop a family member destroying it if they want to. That’s why it’s best to let your solicitor store it.

Don’t get married, you have everything to loose and nothing to gain by doing that.

Only let her move in if you actually want to live with her full time. And then see a solicitor first and get yourself fully protected.

I’m in a similar position. DP won’t be moving in and there will be pigs zigzagging across the sky before I get married.