Partner wants to get married - what happens to my house

[basil9456]

Hello,

I am 62, I worked for 40 years and then was fortunate to be able to retire early at 56 with a good lump sum pay out and pension. I paid off my mortgage a number of years ago and have lived in the same house for 30 years where I raised my family (3 children now adults).

I got divorced in my 30s and never had a serious relationship after that until now I’ve been with a woman for the past 5 years, same age as me. My partner has debts and lives in a house with shared equity which she is struggling to maintain.

She is keen to sell her house, move in with me and get married. I never saw myself as remarrying.

I also felt I would leave my house to my 3 children when I die. Can anyone advise if I were to marry her and she moved in with me, if I died first I presume my partner would inherit my house? And after she dies would it go to her children and completely cut my children out?

Thanks

Do you want to get married and live together?
How long have you been together? What age is your partner?
No wonder she wants to move in to clear her debts
I never saw myself as remarrying!!!
What do your children say about the situation?

Don't do it 😱

Advice remains the same male or female.

Do you want to get married? Reads like you both want different things here

Just don't get married. Domesticity has killed many of the most ardent loves.

dont get married. The only point of getting married at this stage would be to give her financial security in terms of inheritence. This would be completely appropriate if you were raising a young family together, but quite honestly at this age, it will just put your childrens inheritence at risk

Don't get married. As your spouse she will be able to challenge any will you make. Your children could face an expensive legal battle over their inheritance.

Personally I wouldn't even live with her. I doubt her motives.

As mentioned up thread: a will can be written in anticipation of marriage. It cannot be general, I.e. whenever I get married...It needs to specifically include the details of your wife to be and a wording to the effect that the will is written in anticipation of marriage to her so best to get it drawn up by a professional.
If you marry, you will make your wife a dependent and she may have a claim to your estate even if she is not a beneficiary of your will. She could also become a dependent just by the fact that you are financially supporting her.
There could be a suggestion that courts act favourably towards a dependent’s claims if they would otherwise end up relying on the state.

Having said that, there is nothing wrong with getting married again and making sure that your wife is looked after if you die before her.
If the objective is to ultimately leave your property to your kids while she lives there until she dies (or a specified time limit or other event like going into a care home or marrying again) this could be achieved through a trust.

Please dont marry her

To be honest you have never lived together, you could hate it.
There is no possibility not in marrying, as all the advantages are hers, your not going to have children. So just no point.
Remember any joint accounts to to her if you die.
It to be honest bring someone into your home is always odd.
What about willing the house to your children, but renting it out and have a new start together.
You can use the rent to pay for the new house, maybe check finances as well, as unless the lady works you will be keeping her.

Having an arrangement where she can live in the house after you die, until she dies... You could be leaving your children with a nightmare, who upkeeps the house, what if one of her children moves in and then refuses to leave upon her death? Just don't marry.

That was why I said rent it out.
Then your not responsible for housing her for ever.
If you find your unhappy you can walk away.

For the love of god do not marry her....i am female and own my house on my own....I will never remarry as i am not prepared to risk my childrens inheritance.

I suppose it depends on her motives, we don't know her. After 5 years together she may just be wanting to progress to the next stage of a relationship and suggesting marriage which is kind of understandable. But if you want to protect inheritance I wouldn't marry. Seems strange she is suggesting it though, it's usually something you both decide on.

@TheSmelliestHouse

I don't think I'd marry her in that scenario, just live together, but I'd definitely write a will leaving everything to my children and give them copies of the will.

Copies of the will are pointless. It is the original will that will count. And that should be stored somewhere your children can access. Without that original, it could be deemed that you have died intestate. And then intestacy laws would kick in which would benefit this woman if you married her.

But aren't all wills held somewhere central, and when the estate goes through probate they search for the latest copy (very simplistic I'm sure it's more technical!)

Op, have you never made a will in 62 years? You sound quite naïve...

You need to sit down and talk to your gf about what you want to happen. Say you plan to leave the house to your dc, say you don't want to marry again, and see what she says. It does sound like she's the only one who will benefit...

Do you love her? Do you want to marry her?

I'd make a will anyway to set out what you want to happen to your assets when you die, whether or not you are married. Less hassle for your kids.

Don’t get married!

Don't do it.. she may be genuine but it sounds like she sees you as a meal ticket .. even if that isn't true and you let her marry you and live in your house and if you pass she can stay there it's. Nightmare . I know yep
Families who have done this and the stress it's caused it horrendous with the children trying to get them out and claim the house back . Just date her , what's the rush and what's in it for you ?

When I wrote my will (with solicitor) before getting married, it said something like “written on the presumption of marriage to x” so even when we got married, it continued to do what I wanted.

She is keen to sell her house, move in with me and get married. I never saw myself as remarrying

I bet she is!

Here's a thought... she may want to marry you because she LOVES you. !!

See a lawyer . Draw up a suitable will giving her the right to stay in the house until she dies or remarries..

Then marry if YOU love her.
Not everything is about money .

Marriage is a declaration of love. As well as a legal contract. I would NEVER live with a man who refused to marry me... I am worth more.

If you don't feel sufficiently to marry her - then don't

See a solicitor and take it from there, OP.

Tread carefully, don’t let your girlfriend convince you to do anything that could disadvantage your children. If her motives are genuine she won’t kick up a fuss.

Be wary about the will allowing her to live there until she dies or remarries. Your kids could be waiting for decades if you die young. Better to make it a finite period such as two years.