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Original poster

Partner wants to get married - what happens to my house

140 replies

basil9456 · 27/05/2020 11:22

Hello,

I am 62, I worked for 40 years and then was fortunate to be able to retire early at 56 with a good lump sum pay out and pension. I paid off my mortgage a number of years ago and have lived in the same house for 30 years where I raised my family (3 children now adults).

I got divorced in my 30s and never had a serious relationship after that until now I’ve been with a woman for the past 5 years, same age as me. My partner has debts and lives in a house with shared equity which she is struggling to maintain.

She is keen to sell her house, move in with me and get married. I never saw myself as remarrying.

I also felt I would leave my house to my 3 children when I die. Can anyone advise if I were to marry her and she moved in with me, if I died first I presume my partner would inherit my house? And after she dies would it go to her children and completely cut my children out?

Thanks

OP posts:

Fleamaker123 · 27/05/2020 11:58

I wouldn't get married. Seen this so many times. What happens if things don't work out, you could lose your home. Seriously, you don't need to get married. Protect your hard earned assets.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 27/05/2020 12:00

Don't get married if you want your children to have the house. In the event of a divorce, starting point is a 50/50 split of joint assets.

june2007 · 27/05/2020 12:00

House aside, do you want to marry her, If yes thn sort out the house by writing a will. If you don,t break it up as it sounds like you want different tings.

mollycoddle77 · 27/05/2020 12:03

Yes it sounds like you could write up a will after marriage to ensure your assets are split the way you want it, but in the event of divorce, you would stand to lose half of everything.

cstaff · 27/05/2020 12:04

Are you sure you need or want to get married. Would she be happy just moving in. That would be more financially secure for both you and your kids.

GOODCAT · 27/05/2020 12:06

Have a pre-nup which also agrees what you will provide for her as a minimum in your will.

Personally I would not get married though. Different if you are on the same page financially but if I was retired, I would not be marrying someone with debts.

TooTiredTodayOk · 27/05/2020 12:11

Why get married?

Don't do it. Certainly not to a person who sounds the absolute financial opposite to you!

DH and I have agreed (and I know I will stick to it) that if we were to divorce or one of us dies we won't remarry - everything we have is to eventually go to our son and neither of us will do anything to jeopardise that.

Weepingwillows12 · 27/05/2020 12:12

It doesnt sound like you want to get married. Try living together first and see how you feel. It would still be efit her as her bills are lower so perhaps can save towards a property of her own. I do think you need to be clear that you want your house to go to your kids when you die. If you dont marry and live together 20 years them she will be left homeless so needs a plan for that too.

Keepingthingsinteresting · 27/05/2020 12:17

It can be done, but you need proper legal advice and agreements drawn up with her getting separate legal advice. What I would say though is don’t get married if you don’t want to.

iloverock · 27/05/2020 12:20

Insist on a pre nup and sort your wills. See how keen she is then

GreenTulips · 27/05/2020 12:22

The debt hasn’t been mentioned

But should you marry you will be partly responsible for the debt as well.

And if she’s bad with money, she may well drag you down as well. It happens a lot on here, people suddenly finding there partner has run up thousands in debt.

picklemewalnuts · 27/05/2020 12:24

Be aware that even a will preserving the house for your DC but allowing her to live in your house until her death could delay their inheritance a significant amount.

I'd be very wary, as she is driving this and she gets the benefit.

ButteryPuffin · 27/05/2020 12:24

Yes, get advice on how to handle the situation with her debts. I assume she's thinking either she will save money moving in with you as you won't charge rent so it can go towards her debts, or that her debt repayments can be then positioned as part of joint household expenses, so you'll end up paying them off for her.

AgeLikeWine · 27/05/2020 12:25

In your position I would think very, very carefully and take professional legal advice before marrying someone who had no assets. Divorce and family law is designed and intended to protect dependent partners (usually women) and their children.

You absolutely need a water-tight, enforceable pre-nuptial agreement. If I were in your position, and my partner refused to sign a pre-nup, I definitely would not marry her.

Nattyjackie · 27/05/2020 12:26

You'd be crazy to get married in these circumstances. If she loves you living together would be enough. If she pushes for marriage then you know she has an agenda. Don't risk your house that you've worked hard for.

RandomMess · 27/05/2020 12:27

I would let her buy 50% of your house...

You then leave your assets to your DC in a water tight will.

chatterbugmegastar · 27/05/2020 12:29

If I were you I would not marry, not move in together and keep homes and finances completely separate.

Then your will can leave everything to your children, with perhaps a gift to your girlfriend

If you decide to move in together/get married you need to do a pre nup so that you ring fence ALL your assets for the children AND a will post marriage to leave everything to the children with perhaps a gift to your partner/wife

Do not shilly shally on this, as imo you will regret it if you do

walkingchuckydoll · 27/05/2020 12:29

Do you really want to marry? It sounds a bit risky in your case.

MrsPear · 27/05/2020 12:29

Don’t be bloody stupid and let her move in let alone marry! You will loose half of everything in a divorce case or your children will left with nothing as she tells the world in tears they are leaving me homeless. Why on earth would you do that?!

Crikey0000 · 27/05/2020 12:30

Be careful! Get legal advice, keep copies of any paperwork and let your kids know where they are stored. Make sure it's securely and somewhere away from her. I speak from experience.

Friendsofmine · 27/05/2020 12:32

You absolutely need legal advice. Her debts could quickly become your problem.

Viviennemary · 27/05/2020 12:33

As others have said you can make a will and give her the right to live in the house after your death but then it passes to your children. What is she intending to do with the money from the sale of her house. I'd think very carefully before making this step.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 27/05/2020 12:33

Just don't marry her. There really is no need. Protect your assets.
Live together by all means but make it clear to her that she will not be inheriting anything from you.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 27/05/2020 12:38

As others have said you can make a will and give her the right to live in the house after your death but then it passes to your children

Yes, but that assumes that their marriage stays together. In the case of a divorce, there is not a guaranteed way to protect her assets for her children. Given that they haven't even lived together, and the partner has significant debts and a housing issue, I think that they haven't proved their longevity just yet.

PrimeroseHillAnnie · 27/05/2020 12:39

I would decline her kind offer.

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