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Original poster

Partner wants to get married - what happens to my house

140 replies

basil9456 · 27/05/2020 11:22

Hello,

I am 62, I worked for 40 years and then was fortunate to be able to retire early at 56 with a good lump sum pay out and pension. I paid off my mortgage a number of years ago and have lived in the same house for 30 years where I raised my family (3 children now adults).

I got divorced in my 30s and never had a serious relationship after that until now I’ve been with a woman for the past 5 years, same age as me. My partner has debts and lives in a house with shared equity which she is struggling to maintain.

She is keen to sell her house, move in with me and get married. I never saw myself as remarrying.

I also felt I would leave my house to my 3 children when I die. Can anyone advise if I were to marry her and she moved in with me, if I died first I presume my partner would inherit my house? And after she dies would it go to her children and completely cut my children out?

Thanks

OP posts:
Luzina · 27/05/2020 13:35

Legal advice DEFINITELY needed. Please please do not rely on advice from internet strangers, however well meaning it is.

7yo7yo · 27/05/2020 13:39

Don’t marry this cocklodger please! (I know she’s a woman).
She’s got everything to gain where as you haven’t!

TheFaerieQueene · 27/05/2020 13:41

Don’t get married. I can’t see any benefit in it for you, other than legal woes.

chatterbugmegastar · 27/05/2020 13:56

Ring a few local solicitors and book a 30 minute free consultation with each (most do this) and then pick the one you like the most

It's bread and butter work - not complicated for solicitors

I wonder if your girlfriend will kick off when you tell her what you intend to do. At least you'll know what she's after (your money and property and not love) should she make a fuss

EileenAlanna · 27/05/2020 14:13

Whether it would make your life happier marrying her & having her move in or not only you can say. It would certainly over-complicate your finances & intentions towards your children if you did.
As your wife she would inherit your house & other assets (subject to IHT laws) if you left no Will. Even if you have a Will she could contest it. If she was awarded the house she could then sell it or leave it to whoever she wanted - probably not your children.
She could be entitled to claim in the event of a divorce. It would probably depend on how long the marriage lasted & her finances at that time.
Giving her a life-time interest in the house could be a disaster. She could live another 30 years or more & your own children wouldn't even be able to enter your house until she's dead. Your great-grand children could be adults before anyone in your family gets the benefit of their inheritance.
I think the only one to actually benefit from marriage in this situation is her. My own inclination would be to maintain the status quo & get your Will drawn up leaving everything to your children. But I hope as I'm sure they do that you live many many more years.

cstaff · 27/05/2020 14:53

I think if you put any of the above suggestions to your partner, how she reacts will give you your answer.

copycopypaste · 27/05/2020 15:07

I'm afraid the only person who really benefits from this marriage is your dp. (Taking lice etc out of the equation)

Seek legal advice regardless of what you decide to do, but in your shoes I'd not be rushing to get married to her.

MrsRoyCropper · 27/05/2020 15:19

Please think twice about marriage at this stage and in your circumstances. My DF had a will drawn up confirming his fiancé would live in the house until she died, upon which time the house would be left to the four children they had between them equally, so my sister and I, and my step brother and sister. I understand now they should have had a clause added to reflect that upon marriage this wish still stands. When they married a short while after they did not revise the will accordingly and he died a couple of years later. The whole estate transferred to his new wife who has told me bluntly the house is now hers and will be left to her two children. I saw a solicitor who advised there is nothing that can be done, the Will was flawed but the only way to contest it would be at the stage my step mother dies, and contest the transfer of the house to her children. But he was upfront about the fact that it would be very unlikely to succeed. I wish my father had not remarried, it was a short marriage and I know he would be devastated that his own children had nothing from his will.

897654321abcvrufhfgg · 27/05/2020 15:42

Don’t marry.

Fleamaker123 · 27/05/2020 15:56

@MrsRoyCropper

That's awful. I don't understand how anyone could do that, it's so wrong morally. Sheer greed.

Chatons · 27/05/2020 15:57

Nope! Fanny lodger.

Chatons · 27/05/2020 15:58

Taking lice etc out of the equation

This thread is all about parasites.

strawberry2017 · 27/05/2020 16:13

How is old is your partner?
You would need to also consider what happens if you die first, would she get to remain in the property until she dies?
The fact that this is all for her benefit makes me very suspicious.
I'd be worried that she could make things difficult for your children.

HollowTalk · 27/05/2020 18:08

Was anyone else reading this with a female OP?

chatterbugmegastar · 27/05/2020 18:26

I'd give the same advice either way @HollowTalk

HollowTalk · 27/05/2020 18:32

Yes, me too, but it's interesting the assumptions made (by me!)

managedmis · 27/05/2020 18:35

Fanny lodger

GrinShock

Original poster
basil9456 · 27/05/2020 18:54

Oh to clarify I am male!

OP posts:
EileenAlanna · 27/05/2020 19:05

@HollowTalk I had to check the OP when I got to all the "she" references out of curiosity if it was a same sex relationship, like you & @chatterbugmegastar my advice (such as it is) would be the same either way.
Hi @basil9456 Smile.

chatterbugmegastar · 27/05/2020 19:08

I made the same assumption @hollow Confused

Anyway , OP, you have suggestions Grin

CaraDune · 27/05/2020 19:17

Grin another one who assumed it was a lesbian relationship! But the advice is exactly the same - fanny lodger, beware.

FinallyHere · 27/05/2020 19:20

Lots of good advice on here. The absolute worst thing to do would be to leave no will so that people potentially fight over the legacy.

We found @mumblechum0 of this parish very helpful to write our wills. Second marriage, DSC etc all considered Couple b of emails, joint phone calls and we had copies to sign. Brilliant.

https://www.marlowwills.co.uk

Aquamarine1029 · 27/05/2020 19:32

Absolutely no way. I think you would be an utter fool to marry under these circumstances. She has debt and is looking for a meal ticket is my guess. There is zero benefit for you in marrying her. She is the one it could pay off for. Protect your assets for your children!

Friendsofmine · 27/05/2020 19:47

My advice is the same. Getting married is fine as long as you have protected yourself in the event of divorce.

All very different to if you marry in your 20s unestablished, even, no inheriterence etc.

cptartapp · 27/05/2020 20:11

My DM lived with a new partner many years after my DF died, but never remarried (as it would have ended her claim on my DF pension). Her new partner contributed to the bills. Unexpectedly she died first, but her will enabled her partner to remain in the house for two years then it was to be sold for me and my DB.
Legal advice needed. You could be being set up here.

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