Drowning in debt? Don't know how to get out? You are not alone. Come and share and find a way through ....

[Talkinpeece]

This thread is loosely linked to several previous ones on the same topic.

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
Everybody is welcome to share problems, ideas, solutions, but not be judgemental please

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help explain how
SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

Oldgrinch
the £42000 was on her other thread

• he tried to maintain a lifestyle they did not have to the tune of about £10,000 a year for a couple of years and then a shit ton of penalties and interest

credit is a bastard if you do not keep it under control

he feels like you do times five !

Grinch it started with an MOT then he kept the card and got another then he got a consolidation and still kept the cards. The problem was life in the South was alot more expensive than we had expected didn't help there was a 5 year promotion freeze so by the time he was earning enough the minimum payments were higher than his promotion. We were young and stupid and had 2 years where we weren't as careful as we should have been i didn't know we were in debt but I did know we were spending as fast as we were earning and not saving then I honestly thought we'd turned it around I was obsessed with frugal living I even forage food (you should see my house in bramble season I'm obsessed! ) and make my own cleaning products I feed 5 people on £50 a week but none of it was enough.
My DS is still struggling but better he got bronchialitis at 3 weeks old which seems to have weakened his lungs. He got it again last month and needed a ventilator to breath for him (the worst few days of my life) he's unfortunately gotten it again this week but no need for hospital treatment so far but he's open access to our local hospital so they've been keeping an eye on him. The little terror is determined to turn my hair white!

Oh my goodness me I thought I was badly off with my 6.5% interest deal, it is terrifying how quickly things can escalate when it comes to credit. What is happening with paying back the 42,000? Sorry haven't seen other thread. Muma glad to hear your DS doing a bit better, my eldest was like that, got pneumonia as a baby and weakened her lungs, first 2 years of life in and out of hospital. Now a strapping teenager who can consume the contents of a fridge in a blink of an eye

When I finally get these debts paid off am never getting credit ever again.

Grinch thank you for sharing about your son it's good to hear about kids who outgrow this kind of thing as that's what the drs are saying should happen with our little man they say by 3 it shouldn't be happening anymore.
With the debt DH was 3 months into a debt management plan when I found out about it so the interest is frozen and its coming down slowly and I am saving every penny to offer settlement fees to individual creditors at least one has told me they will accept about £1400 less for a lump some another has already knocked of 8k in fees and interest (leaving only 1200 owing to them that's how bad his fees are!) if you are struggling with the repayments give stepchange a call they've been amazing for my DH I'm sure they can help you too.

I looked at other jobs today, I found one that would suit my skill set and it’s 21k. It’s also further away from my current job so I’d need to add in travel costs. I looked up how much I’d take home after tax and NI but including pension. No different than my current situation on a minimum wage job and uc. That’s no incentive whatsoever as my childcare costs would be higher and I’d have less time with dd.

Not including pension that should say

Hmm, tricky. I'd say stick in the job you know until she is a bit older and you are more used to your new debt reducing lifestyle.
THen look again st jobs once she's a bit more independent which comes all too quickly

I’m thinking the same. I’m in a school so I get the holidays off. The idea for retraining is also school related so I can have minimal child costs and maximum time with dd.

Thanks, OP - you're right, of course. Though actually, my blood pressure has shot right up over the last month, so that's an added incentive (along with the money ) to stop the food thing.

What does everyone do to find fulfilment? I realise that mine is all external - when I was younger, I "rewarded" myself with booze or sex (), and as I have got older, it's buying shit, travelling or food . But I'm infuriated with myself today about this (was stewing on this thread as I was walking back from work) - I'm an adult, ffs: why do I feel I need "treats" or "rewards"? That's just fucking ridiculous - it's not how the world works, and I know that, so why am I trying to infantilise myself in this way?

I have been truly poor, as in homeless and no idea where the next meal is coming from poor, on two separate occasions. But I feel I am living an impoverished life still now, as I am servicing the debt I racked up buying shit I didn't need, for the life I don't have, and I really don't know how - at a fundamental level - to change this.

I'm numerate - I have no excuses

Thoughts or ideas very welcome! Every time, I sort my shit out and things are going to be different - but they never stay different in the long run. Maybe I need Gordon Brown - "no more boom and bust"

Hi there Hefzi
I was in your situation and now out the other side .
Essentially we are bombarded with "buy" to be fulfilled messages all the time.

Interesting that we often buy comfort/relaxation in the form of clothes/toiletries/candles /craft stuff .
We dont DO the stuff we need to do to relax or give ourselves time.
My top tips are finding time to read,have a bath or exercise .
I dont want to sound pious-I still buy things but much,much less .
Proritise paying off your debts and make every penny you spend work for you via cashback sites,collect Nectar/reward points(careful not to buy extra just to get points) switch everything to the best deal.
Take out cash and mealplan.
It becomes as addictive as spending and I was a BIG shopper !

"Pay yourself first" Alvin Hall

Hefzi
My treat to myself is my gym membership.
A swim in the sunshine followed by a yoga class makes me feel good all day.
In summer I enjoy pottering in my garden and growing veg.
I focus on activities that make me feel good.
Yoga / mindfulness is great because it clears the head with a byproduct of getting fitter

We once would have had religion to provide a focus and bring communities together, now we are encouraged to spend money to project the idea of success to others and provide an endless stream of stuff that we don't want or need. I find a good book takes me to a better place, I can totally recommend the Outlander series for complete escapism

today has been super difficult, I lost my wallet, all cards gone. so I've cancelled them. that's not the problem. What is a problem is that I won't get replacements for 5 days and there is no bank branch in my town. Aaargh.

I have a tenner to last.

The advice if the call center, transfer the money to a friend and get them to take is out. aaaagh.

it's been a real panic attack not only am I talking up credit I'm ballsing up what little I have.

aaaargh.

only good thing is it's practice for when the shit hits the fan totally

Oh disney I'm so sorry. Its HORRIBLE when that happens
Breathe.
Can you eat out of cupboards and fridge?
What do you NEED cash for between now and then?
Do you have enough fuel in your car to do essential journeys

Do a bit of "pranayama" (count your breath in and out for about ten breaths) until you can think clearly.

Top up dd1 school bus pass,

I've told the DDS it's kitchen creative from now on, hopefully I can talk a colleague into letting me letting me give them the £150 I have til payday and then at least I have what little cash I have.

God it was horrible discovering that I last my cards, even more horrible ringing the card companies, only one gave me a bit of a telling off as I'm over my limit.

Payday isn't that far away though 10 days to go.

disney
Talk to the school and see if they will give you a hardship grant / loan
EVERY secondary school has funds for that

Can I join?
£7000 on 0% credit card. This was £8500 at beginning of year and I put all debt on one interest free card including overdraft. All to go with fees for uni. Have been chipping away at it. Also did an app called the chip app- sweeps small amounts from my current account- which means I have a rainy day fund for car etc so I don't get in more debt
I use YNAB to keep track and my evenings are spent watching tv and not spending money. Pretty boring but hey ho. Needs must.
Not sure what's going on with the font!

All to go with fees for uni
What course out of interest?
Good call on getting 0%

It's an MSc in nursing. Has taken YEARS (all modular based) dissertation alone was £2500. Will be worth it as my pay has gone up as a result

Ah OK, yes, well worth the investment

May I join?

Not in crazy debt BUT I can feel it spiralling - £3K on credit card, 200£ owed to electricity company, 300£ to tax man.

Weekly outgoings £320 to bills / expenses, £70 to food, £20 to fuel.

Incoming £420-480 per week.

I'm a SAHP, partner works 6 days a week most weeks but is off short term sick so no pay until / if government pay kicks in.

Literally living hand to mouth so getting in more debt paying off old debt. Tried moving credit card providers but no luck.

Standing order for the credit card .....
if you want REAL control, set the amount at 5% of your card limit
then you can spend but it will not spiral

Unfortunately our incoming is so varied I can't commit to a s/o. Some weeks we just get by, other weeks we try put half of our disposable income on credit cards and half to our spending account (birthdays, Christmas etc so we don't put anything else on CC)

Definitely set up the basic standing order though (whatever minimum you paid last month, every month) and then hit extra on top by FPS

my income is variable too so I know your pain :-)