Drowning in debt? Don't know how to get out? You are not alone. Come and share and find a way through ....

[Talkinpeece]

This thread is loosely linked to several previous ones on the same topic.

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
Everybody is welcome to share problems, ideas, solutions, but not be judgemental please

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help explain how
SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

Hi Talk. Thanks for this thread and your amazing spreadsheets! Is there a difference in paying it off between paying it manually and a standing order or is it just to ensure it will get paid? I have never missed a payment but sometimes struggle with paying it at the same time each month based on when I do the food shopping and when DP sends me his half of the bill money. To stop me spending it we have just got a joint account for bills meaning I can put 4x half the bills in when I get my student finance. I can definitely reduce the 2 lower cards and raise the highest interest one though, still paying manually - would that make a difference?

Manually is fine so long as you always exceed the minimum - as that way penalties lie.
If you are organised then yup, stick with manual (its what I do)
but hitting the highest interest first will make a difference

I swear debt is disease that spreads.

Talking about paying off debts last night and he just drops another overdraft into the mix - like I wouldn't notice. I apparently knew about it as he mentioned it before... He only mentioned overdraft so I'd assumed it was only the one, not this new one.

So add another 500£ to the total to pay. Not a lot I guess but I feel like he's hiding things, it's not the first time debts have come to light in such a manner. He wants to bring home the money so makes it look like he is until... This. Two overdrafts and a credit card later, he now has about 1300 debt to add to the outstanding debt.

We aren't even bringing home enough money to pay the minimum for it all now unless we use money coming in for LO which usually goes on clothes, shoes, snacks etc.

Argh. I'm getting some money soon which I had planned to save, I'd hoped the debt would be paid by then, and now it looks like it's going to have to pay the debt (and only some of it thanks to the new information from DP!) 😩

Don't suppose anyone understands car insurance. We've had our offer for our car only £25 under what we (my grandma) paid for it granted I only had it 5 days but not bad. The problem is now we've had the offer we only apparently have 7 more with the courtesy car and we travel up north 7 days today for Christmas so we' re on a complete narrow window to work with. The other insurance company still haven't responded so we don't even know if she's reported it yet (she hadn't when our company first got in touch 2 days after the crash! My insurence are now saying they can just pay out so we can get sorted and claim the money back however they would have to take the full excess and refund down the line when they get the money from the other company but we already got a good deal on the car and the same make model and miles are roughly 700 more. The insurance can do like for like but will probably take longer and we need the car for Christmas. I'm so lost on what to do!

Onescared
Could you ask them to give you an extra five business days because of Christmas - which will effectively give you an extra ten days to get it sorted?

OnNatures
Oh dear. Time for you to have the daily 5 minute chat to start honesty with finances.
It will be OK though.

Unfortunately an extra 5 days takes us to Christmas day and we're away spending Christmas with family until the 28th I've seen 1 car a year older than mine but 2000 less miles for around the same price but its 140 miles away it might be worth biting the bullet and getting it my dad would probably come with me to get it.

5 business days .... so does not include weekends or bank holidays ..... so in fact takes you to the 31st
make it 6 working days and you are 2nd January and home and dry

otherwise, yup I'd say go check out the 140 mile away car

Ah I'm so dippy some days!! I'm blaming sleep deprevation again due to 3 sick kids will the viruses never end.
That's a good shout I'll ask if they'll be willing to do that with it being the holidays!

No worries
its my job to think laterally like that
- and I'm not up to my eyes in car / children stress

Hi
I’m just bookmarking this thread. Years of bad spending have really exhausted me. I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar, when manic I just spend spend spend. But have become much better since being diagnosed.

I’ve got a £4000 loan which I’m paying £250 a month off. A £1300 credit card which I’m paying off at £150 a month and a £600 next account. I feel so sick looking at it all but believe me it is better then it was. I really want it to go.

Hi there Platypus
Don't feel sick. Feel proud that you have strategies to clear it.
How are you doing on setting up a sensible budget that will let you stay out of debt from now on?
Are you getting CBT / mindfulness support to manage the spending urges ?

Agreed. 🙂

Hi, I’ve had my payslip today and I’m on a 0t M1 tax code which is emergency tax I think? I handed in my P45 in sept to my new employer. How do I get my tax sorted? Do I have to go through my employer or the tax office?

This happened to me a couple of months ago my work gave me a form to fill out I got it back the next month I was pretty surprised as they said not to expect it before December!

Hi Zoflora
Is that weekly or monthly pay ?
If weekly, phone them, tell them to pull their finger out for next week.
If monthly, GROWL and ask for a sub on your wages

Monthly pay and I’ve rung the tax office, I’ve now had a new tax code. Anything due will be repaid next month (which will affect my uc again!).
Never work for a local authority they are shockingly bad at payroll

Ok I’m about to lose my shit!! UC were supposed to get back to me before 6pm with a decision about whether I get my payment this month. (My employer messed up my first two pay checks and gave me emergency payments, they then lumped them all onto this months pay check and deducted what had been paid. UC took the gross figure and didn’t pay me!)
So I’m on the phone, woman puts me on hold, comes back and the line is awful. She says she can’t hear me and will ring me back. No phone call to me and the offices are closed until Monday!!!!

Ok they have put a note in my journal, they want the last three months bank statements! I could have took them in on Thursday at my appointment if they’d asked in the first place!!!

Oh shit, I forgot about UC.
Full on growl mode. Channel every ounce of your anger about EVERYTHING into a low pitched smooth tone that sounds really scary
and they will back down.

For one of my clients I just copied my MP into the correspondence.
HMRC are shitting themselves

Oh I’m channeling my anger! I’m booking into a MP surgery ASAP and giving them the full situation. I want a meeting with the head of admin/headteacher at my school, they outsource their HR to the council and the council have royally screwed me over.
It’s flipping December and I am a single income single parent.

My mum has just offered to do my food shopping in her credit card she is a chronically disabled 64 yr old woman. Shame doesn’t even cover how I’m feeling.

As someone who came out the other side I would offer this:

1. Come clean to DH. I put my cards in the table when I had no choice. We were moving house and I cad to come clean for the mortgage advisor but in retrospect it was the best thing I did. 2)If you haven't already gone through the PapI process. I did it myself, and got 4.5k back which got rid of a huge chunk of debt.
2. Let budgeting become part of your routine. I can't recommend YNAB enough. I now have no credit cards and no overdraft. We have a car loan and DH has a credit card but those are coming down. This year my aim is to start building up a 'buffer' in savings ( something I have never really had). The aim is to have one month's salary on hand for emergencies. My bank has an app called save the change where if you buy something for £12.35 they will charge you £13 and put the difference into your savings. Baby steps.

Zoflora
Do not be ashamed that your mum is helping you out.
In the big scheme of things, that is her genetic duty.
Plan what you will do to pay her back --non monetary ... window cleaning etc ...
You have been shafted by the system.
Talk to her, explain, discuss, make her angry
as all politicians are shit scared of angry pensioners
But shame is negative
anger is the one to go for

Fairylight
Yes, yes, yes with bells on

The communication is poor, if I’d been told on Monday when I rang DWP to bring in 3 months of bank statements then I’d have brought them into my appointment. Instead they told to bring one month, so I did. Now today they say actually we need 3 months worth.
In the meantime I don’t know if I can afford to pay my mortgage and heat my home. I have creditors ringing me for payment and I have no answers. It’s all just crap!
Oh and as the mortgage company aren’t trying to repossess my home (yet) I can’t get on the social housing list. It’s just all overwhelming today.