Grandchild not included in will

[RogueApostrophe]

Hi everyone, I'll try and keep it brief. The inlaws' will was written in 2006, my daughter was born in 2008. When the father-in-law passed away in 2007, she did not receive any inheritance which seems fair enough.
However her grandmother has recently passed away when she was aged 9 and she is still not included on the will, so the Executors (the three siblings, one of which is my husband) have still not thought to allocate any money to her along with the 6 other grandchildren.

What are my options here? I know a Deed of Variation is possible if all beneficiaries agree to her being included. Should I go straight to the probate solicitor for the mother in law, or do I instruct my own which will obviously be costly but perhaps better to fight the corner of my daughter. For what it's worth, my husband didn't think she should get anything because she wasn't in the will - he's very black and white about things which makes it difficult to speak to him about it. He also doesn't have a great relationship with his brother and won't want to rock the boat by mentioning this situation.

However World War 3 has kicked off at home so he's now open to reconsidering this. It's his brother that is the Mastermind of the three siblings so I feel it's worth bypassing my husband and going directly to his brother but I feel it would be better done via a solicitor.

Thanks!

As so many people have said she is not entitled to anything, nothing, not one penny.

And you are saying she was excluded -that’s not true. She wasn’t living when the will was drawn up so didn’t exist to be excluded. It would be more accurate to say she wasn’t later added or included. That may have been the grandparents intention or it might have been an oversight but whichever it is doesn’t change the fact that she is not
entitled to anything.

You are quite right that it doesn’t seem fair but sometimes life isn’t fair. Realistically she is 10 years old, if you don’t tell her about any of this she will never know the difference. If you want to even things up and make it ‘fair’ financially can’t your DH gift her the same amount as her cousins from his own inheritance? She needn’t ever know it wasn’t the expressed wish of her GP.
You say WW3 has kicked off at home - is that you kicking off at your husband because of something his parents did? How is that fair or loving?

@KathyBeale - that was the exact situation I hoped they would sort out for her but the three siblings have not mentioned it and had I not found out the money was ready to be distributed, nobody would have considered she is entitled to anything.

So out of all the grandchildren, your child is the only one that has been left out of the will?

If so, your husband naturally needs to raise this with the other siblings and ensure she is allocated the same amount as all the other grandchildren.

I would assume it was an oversight.

So your husband has just lost his mum and all you are going on about is money. Nice.

I doubt your child was deliberately left out, why cause such a fuss at this time? Is it a life changing sum of money?

Op you seem to have a fundamental misunderstanding of the role of executors. Several times you have said they should make this change to the will. But they cannot do that and it isn't their role to try. Similarly with the FIL will - it doesn't matter a bit of probate was rapid or took several years, the wording of the will and the circumstances at the time of the death are what matter.

If it really is a question of your daughter risking feeling excluded than the actual money, the answer is simple - your husband allocates the same amount as the other grandchildren from his share? Puts it in an account with her name on it and never breathes a word to her about the fact she wasn't named.

For the sake of two-thirds of the £4000 (assuming you mean husband's two siblings to contribute), that means you would be risking enormous family split for the a sum of money that is not significant in the context of decades of family life ahead of you. Is the relationship between your family and each of your husband's siblings not worth more than the £1,300 involved?

I really think you should stay well away from all of this. The only thing you should discuss is whether your husband should allocate a share of his own inheritance to your daughter to make her benefit equally to her half-sisters. Anything beyond your nuclear family is for your husband to deal with and he has made his view clear.

You have unrealistic expectations and a misunderstanding of what an executor can do, and what a grandchild can expect from a will. It's unfortunate, it's hurtful for your daughter, but you seem sure it isn't malicious so file it in your mind as "unfortunate administrative oversight" and avoid raising it again. £4000 in a junior account and a family feud does not lead to happiness for anybody.

"I’m surprised that none of the other adults, SILs or BILs have raised this already."

I agree - this is very telling OP.

You raising this outside of discussions with your own DH will be a risky strategy.

It is unfair, however,l I wouldn't be surprised if this has already been discussed by the relevant parties.

If her Grandma had wanted her and the other grandchildren in it she would have put them in?

It's equally likely that she just didn't think of it, or assumed that the will was worded to include all the grandchildren around at the time of her death.

There's no point going to the probate solicitor, s/he has no power to do anything other than pay out in accordance with the will. It could just be worth double checking that the will didn't include provision for future grandchildren. Otherwise your original idea of going to the older brother seems sensible.

"I was pregnant with my youngest child when one of their grandparents passed."

I am not sure, but think that it may be possible for a will to make provision for this scenario? (ie to include a dgc conceived at time of death but not yet born)

OP, you mention that the executors are using a probate solicitor. If he or she is aware that there is one more grandchild than is named in the will then they should have picked up on this and informed the executors that that is an option if they wanted to approach the other beneficiaries and ask. It’s not quite clear from your lists exactly who has said what already to who so difficult to know.

Do you think the solicitor knows there is a further grandchild? Had they done their job properly I would think they would have checked about any others born since the will was written. So it’s entirely possible that the executors and beneficiaries have already considered the situation well before now if the money is ready to distribute. It maybe that they assumed that because she was under 18 she would have no “need”for the money.

I think all you can check is that the probate solicitor is aware there is another grandchild. I’m pretty sure they would have suggested the option of a Deed if Variation If they were aware.

@Loonoon Am I supposed to sit silently and not defend my daughter's right to equal treatment? I'm sure many couples argue but it doesn't mean the relationship isn't loving.

I am surprised that a few people are telling me not to make a fuss and not try and gain the same rights for her as the other grandchildren that have all been named in a will as beneficiaries. There is no reason they wanted her excluded that I know of, they just didn't update the will since 2006. I certainly wouldn't have said "Oh a new grandchild exists, please add her into the will".

This gets worse - surely your DH cannot withold money that should be held in trust for a minor because the minors mother owes him money?

Three of the grandchildren inheriting are your DH's children and the half siblings of his youngest child. Your DH could talk to them and ask them to split their 50% of the inheritance four ways and gift their half sister a quarter of the money.
Or if your husband is also inheriting a sum he gifts his youngest child the same as his other three are getting.

I understand why you are upset but your DD isn't entitled to anything, if your MIL had wanted to include her then she should have made arrangements.

Your problem is that you seem to have little understanding of how wills and probate work, and that you’re married to someone whose siblings probably already know won’t fight for anything.

The only hope you have (there’s no legal remedy) is to rely upon the goodwill of all the other beneficiaries, who will need to give up some of their inheritance in favour of your DD.

@curlyhaired - I have the probate solicitor's details. Maybe I'll call and check that they know about the other grandchild and see what can be done.

I'll speak to my husband about giving her the same amount from his share which seems like the simplest situation.

If money has been left to a grandchild whose mother owes your DH money, it would be grossly improper and indeed unlawful for him not to pay it over to that grandchild. Their mother's debt is nothing to do with them.

@plums Yes I don't know how wills and probate work, which is why I came to MN for some advice but I don't think I'd come on here again to ask for help as the treatment has been quite brutal!

This is unfair, and I would be asking my dh what money is he setting aside for his dd from his inheritance.

My granny put the grandchildren in her will - £100 (probably worth £1k today). However my parents haven't and I haven't. in my view other than a token sum it just complicates things too much. Just give it to the children and they can then decide what they give to their own children. When I got some money from my father on his death I gave each child a bit of that - from memory £1k but that was my choice. There is by the way no need to do a will variation if you are just giv ing it out of your own share.

If the other heirs do not agree then you cannot vary the will itself but you can always give money to people you choose from your own shares. Eg we gave someone who helped care for our mother £5k, my father I and my siblings all agreed that and had it paid. It did not require a formal change to the will or anything to do it.

The reason my will does not include the grandchildren is that it complicates things and some children have children and others may not and I think it is fairer all round if it just goes to the immediate next generation. They can if they wish give 100% of what they inherit to their own children of course and plenty would do so.

(Always take advice from a solicitor particularly over IHT - some people do will variations to reduce tax issues although the vast majority of estates are well under IHT limits so that is not an issue)

Am I the only one laughing at the fact you actually say it's 'seems fair enough' that she didn't get money when her Grandfather died before she was born like you are being really magnanimous there

@Francis - yes it's all very complicated and I'm not getting involved in that side of things but his brother will check every beneficiary receives what has been allocated.

@Donut I later added that that was not relevant although she had been born by the time of probate but yes, please ignore that. If I could edit the original post, I would do so to remove that.

Personally I would feel no way if my children wasn't put in their grandparents or great grandparents will. My reason is because to me anything in a will should go to their siblings, partner and children only.
For example, if my parent passed and me and my bro was in will then I would share whatever little I got with my partner and DC too.

When my nana passed i got nothing, I'm not fussed and this was only a few years ago. When my great grandma passed again I was not in will but my mother gave me some items of her jewellery

YOu are not grabby, looking out for your child's interests, especially all grandchildren except your dd are getting, how unfair. That money could be put towards her future: education, driving, house deposit.

@RogueApostrophe
Post on the legal board and ask the question. They have been incredibly helpful over any issues we have had questions with in regards to legal matters.