Grandchild not included in will

[RogueApostrophe]

Hi everyone, I'll try and keep it brief. The inlaws' will was written in 2006, my daughter was born in 2008. When the father-in-law passed away in 2007, she did not receive any inheritance which seems fair enough.
However her grandmother has recently passed away when she was aged 9 and she is still not included on the will, so the Executors (the three siblings, one of which is my husband) have still not thought to allocate any money to her along with the 6 other grandchildren.

What are my options here? I know a Deed of Variation is possible if all beneficiaries agree to her being included. Should I go straight to the probate solicitor for the mother in law, or do I instruct my own which will obviously be costly but perhaps better to fight the corner of my daughter. For what it's worth, my husband didn't think she should get anything because she wasn't in the will - he's very black and white about things which makes it difficult to speak to him about it. He also doesn't have a great relationship with his brother and won't want to rock the boat by mentioning this situation.

However World War 3 has kicked off at home so he's now open to reconsidering this. It's his brother that is the Mastermind of the three siblings so I feel it's worth bypassing my husband and going directly to his brother but I feel it would be better done via a solicitor.

Thanks!

I think you got a hard time as it wasn’t clear from your OP that the other grandchildren HAD been included.

And in terms of fairness I think it’s only fair that your DH gives her the same as the other grandchildren from his portion of the estate. That seems simplest.

She wasn’t overlooked out of any malice just that nobody thought it through when she was born.

And as others have said legally he can’t hold back any money from his other DD’s portion as her mother owing him money is a separate issue.

I really don't get the pasting you've received op. Of course you aren't grabby, it's monstrously unfair that one grandchild has been left out and I don't believe for a second that most people wouldn't feel put out by that. If the uncle (or indeed the adult grandchildren, if they had an ounce of decency) likes to play things by the book, then you'd have hoped that he must have enough sense of basic fairness and decency to see that the 'one grandchild left out' situation needs to be rectified retrospectively - but from the comments above it looks, astonishingly, like that's not a majority view. Given which, i'd be giving her the money from your dhs share rather than start ww3. What a deeply depressing thread

I honestly don’t think anything can be done officially about the will. It is what it is. I do feel that it is up to the named beneficiaries to ensure that the youngest grandchild receives the same as the others. It would be a relatively small amount if each of them contributed.
You could perhaps write to the executors and ask if they would put that proposition to the others.
If it doesn’t happen then rectify the situation in your own will. Is your dh your dd’s father? If so then you and he, between you could fund a relevant amount in trust for your dd till she is 21/25.
Legally you haven’t a leg to stand on, morally is another matter.

I would be apoplectic that she was the only child left out, however what is done is done. So I would split the inheritance equally between all siblings, meaning they get less than the cousins but the same between themselves.

Maybe the Gp's didn't think he'd go on to pro create with a third partner and she's genuinely overlooked.

Her dad can pop some money in her savings from his slice perhaps.

It was probably because her grandmother had not updated the will. Unfortunate but it happens.

Your husband will presumably inherit something, can he not give her something out of that?

I do agree though that your dhs comment about withholding inheritance to his child because the mother owes money is distressingly unpleasant.

As your DH is likely to die intestate as he won't do a will make sure your will is very much in your DD's favour

There is nothing to stop your dh making her an equivalent gift from his share, if he feels it unfair.

'Should I go straight to the probate solicitor for the mother in law, or do I instruct my own which will obviously be costly but perhaps better to fight the corner of my daughter. '

And I really wouldn't go down either of these routes

I would imagine your husband and family are keen to keep the family together and keep things fair. The fact that your child was not included in the will, does not mean that was their intention or indeed deliberate in any way.

Your dh should raise the issue delicately with his siblings, that his parents would not wish for your dd to be left, this would not be their wish and if there were here I am sure they would be keen to include her, as they have done for all their other grandchildren. In this spirit she should be allocated the same as the others. Your MIL probably hasn't even looked at the will for years, this will be an oversight that should be easy to rectify.

Do not call the solicitors or get involved legally op. Speak to your dh and let him sort this out properly. It will reflect badly on you if you are seen to meddling behind the scenes.

Now that his sibling is inheriting something, it would be a good time for your husband to pull in the debt, OP, though obviously he can't deduct the debt from her money. She would struggle to argue that she had no money to pay for it, though.

I would be apoplectic that she was the only child left out, however what is done is done. So I would split the inheritance equally between all siblings, meaning they get less than the cousins but the same between themselves.

Unless it's a life changing amount I wouldn't bother even bringing it up. If it's just a couple of thousand although that would be nice it's not worth a family fall out if no one has thought to voluntarily split seven ways. Also it is up to your husband to lead on this as it was his mum.

As a side matter, he has not decided what sum of money to give to the one grandchild that is under 18 as her mother owes him a large sum of money. Not sure if that's relevant or not, although it doesn't affect my daughter's situation.

OP then if you didn't think.that's an ok thing to do why not say so? All you said is you weren't sure if it's relevant. You didn't acknowledge that this would be monstrously unfair on your step daughter (not to mention illegal). So what you effectively said before you started backtracking is that it's ok for your stepdaughter not to receive her rightful inheritance because your DH is in dispute with his ex, but you feel.it's unfair your daughter didn't receive any inheritance.

You and your DH sound charming.

Yanbu. If your child was the only one missed out then it'd be different. Your Mil should really have been reminded to not forget about this latecomer grandchild who is no less important than the others. It's an oversight on her part and won't have been done deliberately but in circumstances like this i think a gentle reminder would have been in order. Just a little effort and then there wouldn't have been this major upset. No wonder you're upset op, i would be too.

Was your MIL ill for a long time?

If not she has 11yrs to include your daughter if she'd wanted to.

Just to update that after reading the advice, I won't be getting involved with anything to do with the will and will just let this one slide.

@EmmaGrundyforPM Noted and acknowledged, thank you. I shall mention to him that it is unfair treatment as well as illegal.

IME it isn't unusual for a grandchild to be included in a will. I was named in my grandmother's will and our biologically shared non involved with me father wasn't happy that his other kids weren't.

When my dh grandfather died I was pregnant with our third child and he left 3/12 of his estate for my two children but we all understood the third amount was for the unborn child.

I wouldn't go down the legal route to try and get money for your child. The bad feeling it would bring isn't worth it. I'm curious why your dh wouldn't want to share his inheritance with his child though. I wasn't clear whether you have any other children and if they'd been l eft cash as at this point I've only read the OP.

It may be that your grandmother thought that if five of your husbands children were already inheriting (and taking the most of the allocated grandchild inheritance) your grandmother thought it should be dealt with internally. Surely, it is more a matter for your stepchildren ( your daughter's half siblings ) to reallocate their inheritance to include their sister. However, if two are over 30 they perhaps had a close family relationship with their grandparents which you daughter (born after her grandfather died) did not have to the same degree.
I am afraid I think you are being very entitled and it should be sorted out internally amongst the grandchildren in your immediate family. There might well be resentment that because your husband has so many children his family is taking a disproportionate amount of the money set aside for grandchildren. Far better to have left it to the immediate children and left them to allocate a share as seems appropriate.

How very mean and spiteful that your ILs left all their grandchildren something apart from your child.

I would be very hurt

I don't know if it is relevant but how many children does each brother have? If one brother had more children than the others then perhaps they see it as fair in that each family gets a similar share. For example in our family one daughter has three children the other one and it will not change in the future. So in that scenario it is better to leave to the the daughters equally and let them allocate to their own children as they see fit. I understand you want your daughter to be treated fairly but as others have said it is not worth a family feud and your husband could gift your daughter out of his own share. Maybe there is a bigger picture to be viewed.

My Dh parents will states if my Dh dies before them then his share bypasses me (their mother) and goes straight to our children (their grandchildren).

I’m absolutely fine with this, and it’s nice that they have thought to provide for them should Dh go before them.

My suggestion was originally going to be that your DH divides up the money for his 3 older children among his 4 children.
However, that was assuming that they were all under 18 and therefore money would be transferred from the estate with him, or a trustee, in control, not directly to the other GCs.
Are all the other GCs over 25 (as money will be in trust till 25 for the one GC who is under 18)? So will all get their money directly?

It is of course possible to set up wills to exclude some individuals (one of my relatives is leaving money to one adult DC and to the GCs who are the children of the other DC, not adults, due to the poor money handling skills of the other DC).

I have written a will that includes cousins/nieces and nephews that are under 18 but I name them. They just get a small bequest as I'd have continued to buy them presents at birthdays/Christmas until they turned 18 if I had not died (I'm not dead but you get the point!). I do need to keep updating it when they turn 18 - a couple of them due to do so before too long.