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Original poster

Grandchild not included in will

245 replies

RogueApostrophe · 29/08/2018 08:33

Hi everyone, I'll try and keep it brief. The inlaws' will was written in 2006, my daughter was born in 2008. When the father-in-law passed away in 2007, she did not receive any inheritance which seems fair enough.
However her grandmother has recently passed away when she was aged 9 and she is still not included on the will, so the Executors (the three siblings, one of which is my husband) have still not thought to allocate any money to her along with the 6 other grandchildren.

What are my options here? I know a Deed of Variation is possible if all beneficiaries agree to her being included. Should I go straight to the probate solicitor for the mother in law, or do I instruct my own which will obviously be costly but perhaps better to fight the corner of my daughter. For what it's worth, my husband didn't think she should get anything because she wasn't in the will - he's very black and white about things which makes it difficult to speak to him about it. He also doesn't have a great relationship with his brother and won't want to rock the boat by mentioning this situation.

However World War 3 has kicked off at home so he's now open to reconsidering this. It's his brother that is the Mastermind of the three siblings so I feel it's worth bypassing my husband and going directly to his brother but I feel it would be better done via a solicitor.

Thanks!

OP posts:
Original poster
RogueApostrophe · 29/08/2018 09:05

Re: FIL will, the probate took a long time and she was born by the time the funds were allocated but yes it's not relevant.

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 29/08/2018 09:05

So from what most people have said - she is not entitled to the same as her siblings and cousins?

No-one is entitled to anything when someone dies.

But your DH is entitled to your support to deal with the death of his mother.

grafittiartist · 29/08/2018 09:06

Oh- that is odd- apologies!

Original poster
RogueApostrophe · 29/08/2018 09:06

@NonaGrey - My husband doesn't get on well with his brother so doesn't appear to want to have the discussion, so I was asking for advice on whether I should see a solicitor about it. I suppose I could approach the brother directly and ask.

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SuburbanRhonda · 29/08/2018 09:07

I really don’t think you should ask the brother, who will also be grieving.

There’s no way it will sound anything other than crass and grabby.

Olivo · 29/08/2018 09:08

I agree that it seems unfair although logical if the will was written before your daughter was born. Is it w a token amount for the GC, in which case the cost of going via solicitors May outweigh her 'share', is it something your DH can give from his share? Not worth upsetting people who have just lost their mum over this unless you are talking vast sums of money.

We had a surprise inheritance last year, and although none of the chi,drew we mentioned were left anything, we put some of mine into the children's accounts for a rainy day. My siblings chose not to.

Finfintytint · 29/08/2018 09:09

If you want your 9 year old to have some money why can't you give her some from your husband's inheritance?

NonaGrey · 29/08/2018 09:09

Is it a significant amount of money? The answer probably determines the advice regarding how far to push family harmony.

But yes, I’d always be inclined to start with a friendly conversation, it’s more likely to succeed.

rollonoctober · 29/08/2018 09:09

I'm with you OP - it sounds like the intention was for all the GC to benefit from the will, but it was badly drafted so as not to include any born after signature. Unless there's some massive back story here that would explain why she wouldn't have included your DD, then I think it's probably the case that she either didn't realise that her will wouldn't include your DD, or just hadn't gotten around to updating it.

It seems odd that it's caused controversy, I would have thought it would be simple and obvious for the executors to agree a variation to split the GC bequest 7 ways instead of 6.

But on MN you will always get a kicking for questioning inheritance!

NaToth · 29/08/2018 09:10

If nothing else, this is a reminder to all of us to make Wills in the first place and then to review them every five years or so and update as appropriate.

Original poster
RogueApostrophe · 29/08/2018 09:11

I don't know the sum of money exactly but it won't be much, 4 or 5k. It's more the fact that no-one has thought to retrospectively include her, it feels rather unfair for her that the Executors are ignoring her. I suppose I feel hurt by the situation and why my child is excluded and if I mention it, I'm being grabby and unsupportive.

OP posts:
Original poster
RogueApostrophe · 29/08/2018 09:13

@rollonoctober - No backstory here. I did try to avoid drip-feeding in the original post (my first one on MN!) but I now realise I should have got someone to proof read it for me before I posted! It's not about the money, it's about the fact she's been excluded and they don't think I have a right to have her included.

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HappydaysArehere · 29/08/2018 09:13

Our will does not include grandchildren and we love them beyond anything. The reason is that the money is being shared equally between our two girls. They will then decide what to give the children. I know that it will be used towards their needs at the time as it has been discussed.

NonaGrey · 29/08/2018 09:13

There’s no way it will sound anything other than crass and grabby.

If there are seven grandchildren and only six have been left money it’s not in the least grabby and crass to politely ask about the disparity.

I assume that no one is suggesting that the child was deliberately excluded? It’s more likely to be an oversight.

And yes, the sons are grieving but they still have to fulfil their responsibilities as Executors.

Original poster
RogueApostrophe · 29/08/2018 09:15

@NonaGrey Thanks, I was pretty upset reading the comments. There's no reason for a 9 year old to be excluded. She gets on well with all of the in-laws and half-siblings.

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Kintan · 29/08/2018 09:15

Just get your DH to give her that amount from his share. Problem solved and family relationships (whatever they may be) remain intact. Please don’t go to the brother after your DH has decided not to raise it. This could do irreparable damage to your marriage. Is it really worth it for a few grand?

Whatfrenchplacename · 29/08/2018 09:16

"But this is why grandchildren shouldn't be put on wills, except for token inheritances."

Interesting point - I suppose there may be particular reasons to leave the money to dgc instead of dc though in some cases. For example to 'protect' the assets for dgc if the dc subsequently divorces, is bankrupted etc. Or to protect against the scenario where dc subsequently dies, and surviving spouse remarries and leaves all to new dspouse - which I have learned from mn may not be that rare.

Original poster
RogueApostrophe · 29/08/2018 09:17

Probate was initiated in June of this year so I found out yesterday the funds are ready to be distributed to the named 6 grandchildren. I haven't previously been unsupportive in their time of grieving and as of yet, I've said nothing other than to my husband.

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SuburbanRhonda · 29/08/2018 09:19

And yes, the sons are grieving but they still have to fulfil their responsibilities as Executors.

Did the OP say they’re not fulfilling their duty as executors?

My understanding is that the OP wants them to change the will, which is not the duty of an executor.

TeenTimesTwo · 29/08/2018 09:19

I think that
a) it is poor will writing
b) not worth using a solicitor for
c) would be nice if the 3 main beneficiaries saw the discrepancy and each chipped in 'their share' to make up the amount for the GC
d) worth mentioning but not worth falling out over though

Enidblyton1 · 29/08/2018 09:20

It’s tricky OP.
The solicitor who drew up the will should have put grandchildren, rather than naming them, in order to avoid this eventuality. Our Grandmother has just died and all the great grandchildren have received £4k. The youngest is only 6 months old, so would never have been named in the will. It would seem very unfair if she hadn’t had the same as her siblings and cousins.

In your position I don’t think you can do anything legally (but I’m not a family solicitor). I think the only route is for your DH to speak to his brother. As he doesn’t want to do that, you’re a bit stuck. I don’t think you should speak to his brother without your DHs knowledge - although that’s what I might do in your situation, and it would probably go horribly wrong.

Sorry, not very helpful. But I think your DH is the only way to solve this harmoniously. Only you can judge whether it’s worth pursuing with him Flowers

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 29/08/2018 09:21

I don't know the sum of money exactly but it won't be much, 4 or 5k.

Wow, yours and my definition of not much are poles apart! If that's what the grandchildren are getting then I assume the siblings are getting a hell of a lot more, so just give out of your husband's share. It's really not worth falling out with family over such a "small" amount.

Enidblyton1 · 29/08/2018 09:22

Are any of the 6 grandchildren yours?
If so, I would discuss with your DH that is is fair to split the money equally between your older child/children and this youngest one.

TheRedRoom · 29/08/2018 09:23

It's a real shame your dh didn't raise this when they first read the will. It seems a bit late to bring it up now. It really is unfortunate but your dd has no legal right, so far as I'm aware (not a lawyer), to a share, but morally it does seem unfair. I'd guess her grandmother probably intended her to have a share, unless there's more to it (eg grandma didn't approve of your relationship or something).

Given where things are at and the relatively small amount of money - and the risk of creating a family problems of you raise it with his brother (I definitely don't think that would be appropriate - if anyone was to raise it, your dh would need to not you), I'd suggest your dh set aside an amount for her from his share rather than go back to the table. But if your dh is willing to raise it I guess it's worth a try. I wouldn't pursue legal avenues for such a small amount, as that could really damage family relationships permanently.

Original poster
RogueApostrophe · 29/08/2018 09:23

Thanks Enid & Teen. I'll speak to him and ask him if he'll consider speaking to his brother, and if not, I get on well with his sister who is also an Executor so I could approach her about it. Or I could ask his 'permission' to contact the brother directly.

Alternatively I could speak to the probate solicitors and ask them to include her, perhaps that isn't an impossibility?

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