Grandchild not included in will

[RogueApostrophe]

Hi everyone, I'll try and keep it brief. The inlaws' will was written in 2006, my daughter was born in 2008. When the father-in-law passed away in 2007, she did not receive any inheritance which seems fair enough.
However her grandmother has recently passed away when she was aged 9 and she is still not included on the will, so the Executors (the three siblings, one of which is my husband) have still not thought to allocate any money to her along with the 6 other grandchildren.

What are my options here? I know a Deed of Variation is possible if all beneficiaries agree to her being included. Should I go straight to the probate solicitor for the mother in law, or do I instruct my own which will obviously be costly but perhaps better to fight the corner of my daughter. For what it's worth, my husband didn't think she should get anything because she wasn't in the will - he's very black and white about things which makes it difficult to speak to him about it. He also doesn't have a great relationship with his brother and won't want to rock the boat by mentioning this situation.

However World War 3 has kicked off at home so he's now open to reconsidering this. It's his brother that is the Mastermind of the three siblings so I feel it's worth bypassing my husband and going directly to his brother but I feel it would be better done via a solicitor.

Thanks!

People need to be so clear when writing their will. If it was this person’s intention for no further grandchildren born after it was written to receive a bean, this should have been Clearly written in the will. If anything to avoid all this conjecture and disagreement.

I think your bigger issue is your sappy husband. Why on earth can't he just tell his brother about the oversight and suggest the other 6 just gift her x amount to balance it out.

If the adult grandkids refuse that's up to them but no idea why some families just can't communicate and over complicate simple issues.

So there are 7 grandchildren:

3 cousins (children of your DH's sibling/s)
3 half-siblings from your DH's previous relationship
Your daughter

If I have read this correctly then your DD may have been deliberately left out, so no reason to think she should be included. Maybe DMIL didn't approve of your relationship, or DH having any second relationship or thought that your side of the family could provide for her - you will never know unless DH's or one of his siblings tells you and it may be something you don't want to hear.

By the time she is an adult, your DD won't know she received a different amount from the other grandchildren if you don't tell her. Maybe DH could invest a token amount from his inheritance for her or give her a keepsake from DMIL's belongings.

If however, she has full siblings receiving an inheritance (I can't find in your posts that you say any other of the grandchildren are yours), then yes, she should receive the same as them, either by deed of variation (which will rock the boat as others will receive less and possibly delay pay-outs) or out of your husband's share.

Sorry if this is not what you want to hear.

I agree, sometimes the contents of a will doesn't actually accurately reflect the intention. I know if further grandchildren were to be born, my mum would have wanted to have them included, but everything is left to 4 named minors, I wouldn't be able to do anything to reflect this. I think you have to be a bit careful to consider the implications when a generation of benefactors may not be complete IYKWIM. Fortunately it is unlikely to happen in our family, but it has made us all a bit more aware when considering our own wills.

And the fact that although a will may stipulate an age for inheritance such as 21, you can't actually deny them it when they reach legal age. 16 Scotland, 18 in a lot of other countries.

All of my dcs grandparents have said there will be inheritance to their grandchildren when they die. In both cases, I don’t think it’s right. On one side, we have the most dc, while dhs sibling has no dc, so our branch of the family will get substantially more than they do and I don’t think that’s fair. On my side, I don’t think all the grand children have been born yet (and could be several years until that happens) so could lead to some grandchildren inheriting (mine) and those not born yet getting nothing(future dc of my youngest sibling) -i don’t think this is fair either. They should all get the same, it’s not fair for some dc to have money and some not to when it can affect so much of their lives.
In both cases, I think it should be all passed down to the next generation who then decide how much of it to give to the dc. Keeps it fair and equally distributed.

Op, I think your dc has been treated dreadfully. I can not understand all this talk of ‘you should never expect to inherit’, no you shouldn’t, but you should expect something if all your siblings and cousins are getting something from the will. How cruel to leave her out.

OP, I can understand that it is hurtful to have your daughter left out of a family matter, when her half-siblings have been included. I'm guessing there is quite an age gap by the sound of it although the cousins seem to be under 18.

Unfortunately, you have completely the wrong idea of what executors can do! It's the beneficiaries who would have to agree a Deed of Variation and it's complicated in this situation because beneficiaries under the age of 18 (and it does sound like there is one or two) cannot agree to this IMO.

Executors have to execute the will as is - hopefully your DH will put aside some money for your DD from his share. There is no way he can retain money because a beneficiary's parent owes him! He has a legal duty on that point!

As I said, I completely understand your feelings about your DD being the only grandchild left out.

NewName54321 OP has said her dd was close to her grandmother.
If this woman kept up a pretence of a loving relationship with her son's second family whilst privately objecting and deliberately excluding her youngest grand child from the will she would have been a horribly cold and calculating woman.
OP has not hinted at any of that.
I think OP is right to query it. If her inlaws are that nasty then at least she and dd know where they fit in the family and choose how they proceed.

Like the OP however I think it is more likely to have been an oversight.

Ah half sibling issues - that more complicating. I thikn it's best just to leave money to your children and leave it to them to give money to their own children if and when they choose.

I agree with the point above that if an under 18 grandchild has been left money then there is probably no power to vary things by agreement and it would be up to an adult inheriting to choose to give oney to this other child who is not in the will.

Ah yes, Francis, I would have been assuming that a specific pecuniary gift was mentioned for each individual grandchild.

In YOUR scenario, say it was a TOTAL of £60k to be split between 6 grandchildren, so £10k each, you could also say it could be fair that they should stick with that so that each 6 GC get their assumed £10k AND THEN let the residual beneficiaries decide if they want to donate a small sum of their share of the the residual estate to make up another £10k to give to unmentioned-in-will GC.

OP hasn’t said how the inheritance is divvied out exactly I don’t think.

The OP stated that her husband had already told one of his other children the amount and that it would change if their DD was included, so I'm assuming it's a set amount split between the grandchildren.

I think your bigger issue is your sappy husband. Why on earth can't he just tell his brother about the oversight and suggest the other 6 just gift her x amount to balance it out.

Well, that would be illegal, of course.

I mean, suggesting it isn't illegal, but the executors not giving the money to the people it was left to is, and then the adults later stealing it from the children's trusts would also be illegal.

If the beneficiaries are under 18 they cannot make that decision, if the trustees make it for them they are breaching their role which is simply to act in the best interests of the beneficiary of the trust.

Anyone over 18 can do what they like with their inheritance. Give it away, or make a deed of variation (you don't need the others to agree by the way, only those whose inheritance is affected need to agree, so if it's just one of them - DH say - then the rest don't need to be involved at all), or spend it, or save it......

It's a shame that DH didn't mention it to her before she died as she may not have meant to miss her out and then the will could have been changed if she wanted. Probably best thing to do is invest some of DH's share so she doesn't miss out, I think OP was thinking of doing this.

I haven't read the full thread, but are the other cousins decent people who would be open to making things fair ?

Mil's will stipulated that her jewellery should be divided among her granddaughters. No one wanted any of the (Liberace-style) jewellery, so it was sold and the money divided. All the granddaughters agreed to cut in ds on the proceeds "because he can't help being a boy" .

As far as I know, there's no reason to exclude us. His previous relationships with his ex-partners only lasted a couple of years but I have been married to him for just over 10 years so I'd be surprised to find out they have secretly hated me all this time. He was not married to either previous partner by whom he has 2 adult children and one under 18 with the other. All the half-siblings come over to stay or we visit them - none live nearby and two siblings have lived abroad for a few years between them but there is still regular contact. For this reason I think it's an oversight but without asking outright, I don't know.

I have no idea about the contents of the will or the exact sum of money due to anyone, I'm just going on information relayed in a discussion yesterday which I believe was around the 4 or 5k figure for each grandchild. I don't know what DH is inheriting but it's not a particularly large sum I don't think as there's no family home.

@IrmaFayLear I presume the cousins and siblings have no idea she has been excluded. I'm not going to raise that issue with them - I've long since decided to stay well out of it!

@Desmondo2016 'Sappy husband' is obviously a complicating factor here.

What is the likelihood that all the existing beneficiaries will agree to have their shares reduced so your DD can inherit? I'd have thought it was fairly unlikely. The executors aren't "ignoring" your DD, they are carrying out the wishes of the deceased in accordance with the perfectly valid, legal will.

Honestly, unless you are 100% certain that everyone will agree with your point of view - and it seems that even your DH doesn't, so that doesn't bode well - you should drop this and put it out of your mind. Certainly you should not involve a solicitor as legally, you don't have a leg to stand on.

Life isn't fair.

@Mitzimaybe I mentioned a couple of pages ago that I've dropped it and won't be pursuing it further. As you say - life is not fair.

I think legally you are going to struggle here unless you contest the whole will.
The easiest way is if all the other beneficiaries are happy to give up some of their share.
Is that likely?

@Amaried I honestly couldn't say what the other 6 beneficiaries would say to it and it's perhaps best not to know if any of them would object as it would only cause friction between siblings and cousins.

I have 100% given up on the idea of pursuing it any further.

Apologies; I had somehow missed the last page of two.

I get how disappointed you must feel OP.

My DH's gran made a big deal out of gifting every g grandchild £1k when they were born. When she died she had 5 grandkids who had all got £1k.

My DD2 was born 6 months after she died and I was disappointed his grandmother and g aunt who received grans substantial inheritance didn't ensure he received the same as the other children (there are no further births and won't be).

People can call me grabby etc but I can't help how I feel and I feel let down. I think the issue is that in that situation I would of made sure everything was fair and I wouldn't want all but one of my grandkids sat with £1k in their trust fund. I also know in my heart that gran would of wanted that grandchild to have that start in life it meant a lot to her so I would of done it for her.

Call me what you like it's how I feel. I've obvs never said anything to anyone but will save myself to make sure their money is equal.

No advice on what to do about it but I wanted you to know that I see where you are coming from.