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Original poster

Spousal Maintenance

142 replies

JuliaJasmine · 09/10/2017 15:04

Hi I am hoping someone can advise me.

I am getting divorced from my husband of 25 years. We have two children aged 20 and 16; the eldest is in uni and the youngest in 6th form.

My ex husband earns £85,000 and we are splitting everything 50/50. This means I will get a lump sum of around £180,000, half of his pension and maintenance for the younger child of £700 per month. He also pays £300 per month towards the eldest child and £300 spousal maintenance to me. I'm a qualified teacher but work 3 days a week as a classroom support assistant. I and my younger child am moving in with my new partner into a 4 bedroom house. I was initially ok with the settlement but now think that I should have more.

I'd be interested to see what others think who have been in this situation
Thanks
Julia

OP posts:
WitchesHatRim · 09/10/2017 15:05

I and my younger child am moving in with my new partner into a 4 bedroom house. I was initially ok with the settlement but now think that I should have more.

You are moving in with someone. Spousal maintenance will rightly stop.

BritInUS1 · 09/10/2017 15:07

What more do you think you are entitled to?

Presumably you have taken legal advice?

Sounds like a very fair settlement to me x

Original poster
JuliaJasmine · 09/10/2017 15:09

It just seems unfair that the offer is to pay the spousal maintenance until my son is 18 (in just under 2 years) and then his salary will still be high and mine won't be!

OP posts:
WitchesHatRim · 09/10/2017 15:13

It just seems unfair that the offer is to pay the spousal maintenance until my son is 18 (in just under 2 years) and then his salary will still be high and mine won't be!

You are moving in with someone else!

Original poster
JuliaJasmine · 09/10/2017 15:15

That doesn't count unless I get remarried though

OP posts:
RandomMess · 09/10/2017 15:16

Well I would have suggested a higher split of equty because presumably the boys will still be based with you and your career has taken a back seat for 20 years!

donajimena · 09/10/2017 15:17

Well you need to go back to work full time for a start!

WitchesHatRim · 09/10/2017 15:18

That doesn't count unless I get remarried though

Not true. Cohabiting certainly can affect spousal maintenance and rightly so imo.

Original poster
JuliaJasmine · 09/10/2017 15:18

He has offered to increase the lump sum I'm getting to equate to £600 per month for the next 2 years but it still seems unfair to me

OP posts:
WitchesHatRim · 09/10/2017 15:20

What exactly do you want?

You are moving in with someone else. Your DC aren't young.

Increase your hours at work if you want more money.

You are coming across as wanting your cake and eating it.

Original poster
JuliaJasmine · 09/10/2017 15:24

I want equity. Why should he earn all that?

OP posts:
Waitingonasmile · 09/10/2017 15:24

I honestly can't believe this is real. The amount you are getting combined with your wages must amount to about £2000 at least. You are also moving in with someone else!

Your children are old enough for you to go back to work full time and you won't have childcare costs. Up your hours and support yourself.

WitchesHatRim · 09/10/2017 15:26

Why should he earn all that?

Why shouldn't you work full time?

Why should he pay for you to shack up with someone else?

The list is endless.

WatchingFromTheWings · 09/10/2017 15:31

Wow! Talk about greedy! Go back to work full time. If your youngest is 16 you don’t really have any excuse.

pinkmagic1 · 09/10/2017 15:34

It is fair that he supports his younger child financially until they reach 18 bit you are a grown women and don't need taking care of. Get a full time job and pay your own way.

LaurieFairyCake · 09/10/2017 15:34

Is this a reverse HmmHmmHmm

If not, I think the amounts are in line with the cms for child support at £1000 a month.

He ‘earns all that’ because he had the luxury of working on his career while you presumably had yours take a back seat and did more of the child rearing?

Time to bump up your career and get promoted to Deputy Head - in London you will get £80k or thereabouts in secondary.

Should’ve made different choices 20 years ago if you wanted in different....

Farahilda · 09/10/2017 15:38

Spousal maintenance is often not awarded, other than on a temporary basis whilst the (usually non-working) spouse retrains if necessary and finds employment.

You are in work, you have a share of his pension to offset the hit to your owns pension incurred by being part-time. I am somewhat surprised you are being offered it at all.

And yes, cohabiting can affect maintenance.

Original poster
JuliaJasmine · 09/10/2017 15:41

But what if he ends up finding someone and cohabiting? He could also have access to someone else's salary so it doesn't seem fair to take it into consideration on either side.

Thanks for your comments- some seem to think it's about right and others don't- all very confusing

OP posts:
wannabestressfree · 09/10/2017 15:44

It’s not confusing. You are being grabby. Your children aren’t young so go back to work full time. I cannot believe that you still expect to be maintained by your ex husband whilst co habiting with a new partner.
Have some self respect.

RancidOldHag · 09/10/2017 15:49

"But what if he ends up finding someone and cohabiting?"

Then for certain purposes, joint income will be assessed (maintenance payments to first litter children may go down, for example, if there are mire children to support)

If he is actually moving in with someone, then yes that is a factor to be considered in reaching the financial settlement. But that only if there is a definite plan, there's no space for 'what ifferey' about something that might never happen.

If you want to continue with his financial support, then you'll need to reconsider the divorce, because 'have cake and eat it' isn't going to work.

LaurieFairyCake · 09/10/2017 15:49

But you will also ‘have access to someone else’s salary’ when you shack up with your boyfriend Confused

How is it different for him?

WitchesHatRim · 09/10/2017 15:50

Not confusing in the slightest.

M4Dad · 09/10/2017 15:50

It's almost as though this thread was created to rub people's noses in it that aren't getting a fair settlement or anything at all.

Or is that just me?

Crispsheets · 09/10/2017 15:52

Good God, how much more do you want??

Mrskeats · 09/10/2017 15:55

It's as though feminism never happened
Work full time and support yourself

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