Not enough money but don't think we are entitled to benefits?

[Mumoftheark]

Hi I am recently married and previously was in recept of working tax credit and child tax credit along with a proportion of housing benefit as my then partner did not live with me.

We recently got married so my claims with the above ended - even though he still not not live with me (work related).
We are REALLY struggling financially now and are about £500 a month short, & apart from moving up north from the south have no idea what to do.

His wages are 35k, I'm self employed and bring in maybe £600-£1000 each month but am primarily a SAHM. With private rents as horrendous as they are we are just not making it each month.
We have 2 small children and because of his work and the fact he lives away I live like a single parent 98% of the time. With childcare costs & travel into London to work, (there's not much where I am it's a small village) me going to work outside of my business would leave us with less money not more 😩 Plus I honestly don't know how I would juggle 2 under 5s and a job on my own with no family support what so ever.
I started my business to enable me to bring in some money but work around my children but at the moment it's still fairly new and just not making what we need it to.

My question is because of my husbands wage are we not entitled to anything as its not considered a low wage even though we can not afford to live right now?

We don't live unnecessarily above our means, no social life what so ever, none of us drink smoke, have fancy clothes shop in waitrose lol etc, we haven't been away for 6 years we are living day to day hand to mouth.

Our rent is a disgrace, we do live in a nice area (house it's self is ok - fairly small nothing to right home about) & my eldest child has just started at an incredible school, we have looked about to see if we can find something cheaper locally where I wouldn't have to change my sons school, but there is literally nothing, everything is stupidly overpriced. I really don't want to have to move fairly far away, and take my children out of school, there must be another way.
Surely you don't need a 50/60k salary to be able to live a basic life in the south these days 😭

I feel stuck, and can't think of a way out.
Any bright ideas?

The issue is you are paying two rents anyone is extraordinarily high. Move in with your husband or earn more those are your only options.

nobiggieno, the issue is she's not getting her illegally claimed government assistance anymore, budgeting isn't the problem. Although it may become one when HRMC ask her to repay 12 years of WTC and HB.......

I understand the not wanting to move things with young kids. It does sound a bit like you didn't think through the financial implications of getting married properly. Can't be helped now though.

Can your dh leave the military and get a job locally to you anytime soon or is that something he won't consider?

You can't afford to run two houses especially one in the south off one and a bit wages. . Something needs to change and it sounds like that is either you move in with him or he leaves the military

It does sound a bit like you didn't think through the financial implications of getting married properly.

Errrrr people in relationships shouldn't be claiming as single people. Nothing to do with marriage.

They have been in a relationship for a number of years!

OP, a previous poster has already made the point, but to reiterate, if you are a married Service person and pay a mortgage or rent elsewhere, you do not have to pay for your accommodation on base. The UPO (pay office) will require the Service person to show proof of his/her tenancy/mortgage statements plus two utility bills which are less than three months old, and your Council Tax statement but once the relevant JPA form is completed, and the proof of private residence elsewhere provided to the UPO, your husband will be exempt from accommodation charges wherever he is. And if he is in the RN he doesn't pay accommodation charges if he is serving in a ship/submarine anyway.

But as numerous other posters have stated, I am staggered that you don't take up the option of Service Family Accommodation and actually live with him. We are both serving and have had much time apart but we have always lived in SFA and it has worked very well for us and our DC. They went to boarding school, two still there, and have really enjoyed our peripatetic lifestyle.

I appreciate you have a DC with SN but as others have said, there is a lot of support from the Services these days, the Service Family Federations are brilliant sources of advice and help, the department in the MOD that deals with the education of Service children have great specialist staff who assist Service families with children who have SN, and if the boarding option for your DS a feasible one eventually, the Services provide very considerable financial support if he were to go to a specialist school.

And I repeat the point made earlier, you could establish yourself in an quarter and if your DH is away on courses/short-term deployments you would not be required to move anyway. And most assignments are 2 years or more now so I can only assume your DH has been on a series of career-development courses/assignments to move so many times in 5 years but hopefully that will settle down. And I repeat, you can establish yourself in Service Family Accommodation and not have to move if he is away on course or short-term deployments.

Finally, you mentioned not being able to save for a deposit; massively reducing your rent by moving into SFA would be the first and most sensible step, but secondly, if your DH is a member of the Regular forces (as opposed to a Reservist), he can apply under the Forces Help To Buy scheme for an advance of his pay of up to £25,000 which is then paid back over many years direct from his pay. This money can only be used to get you on the housing ladder but is another example of the options potentially open to you.

I am concerned that either he is not being entirely candid with you about the allowances available to him, or he has not changed his marital status category on the pay system because normally when the Service person goes into the UPO to complete the form to do this, one of the staff there will automatically discuss the various allowances and options open to him/her. It all seems a bit odd.

Dancingtothemusicoftime

Nice post but I have to ask, did you tread the full thread?

As PP said,

the issue is she's not getting her illegally claimed government assistance anymore, budgeting isn't the problem.

This thread isn't just about one thing

Arghh - skim read. Sorry!

Strikes me this pair have got themselves into a potentially massive mess by playing the system. The irony is that if he and she were now to do things properly, they would have legitimate financially-sensible options - and at least will be better placed to repay the benefits if when DWP investigate

Where do you live?

I used to live in Surrey (only been gone a year) so probably one of the most expensive areas in the country and we had lovely 2 bed places in decent areas for £1100

You can find some (in not the best places) for £900

I think unless you are central London you need to move firstly to try and save a couple of hundred