Not enough money but don't think we are entitled to benefits?

[Mumoftheark]

Hi I am recently married and previously was in recept of working tax credit and child tax credit along with a proportion of housing benefit as my then partner did not live with me.

We recently got married so my claims with the above ended - even though he still not not live with me (work related).
We are REALLY struggling financially now and are about £500 a month short, & apart from moving up north from the south have no idea what to do.

His wages are 35k, I'm self employed and bring in maybe £600-£1000 each month but am primarily a SAHM. With private rents as horrendous as they are we are just not making it each month.
We have 2 small children and because of his work and the fact he lives away I live like a single parent 98% of the time. With childcare costs & travel into London to work, (there's not much where I am it's a small village) me going to work outside of my business would leave us with less money not more 😩 Plus I honestly don't know how I would juggle 2 under 5s and a job on my own with no family support what so ever.
I started my business to enable me to bring in some money but work around my children but at the moment it's still fairly new and just not making what we need it to.

My question is because of my husbands wage are we not entitled to anything as its not considered a low wage even though we can not afford to live right now?

We don't live unnecessarily above our means, no social life what so ever, none of us drink smoke, have fancy clothes shop in waitrose lol etc, we haven't been away for 6 years we are living day to day hand to mouth.

Our rent is a disgrace, we do live in a nice area (house it's self is ok - fairly small nothing to right home about) & my eldest child has just started at an incredible school, we have looked about to see if we can find something cheaper locally where I wouldn't have to change my sons school, but there is literally nothing, everything is stupidly overpriced. I really don't want to have to move fairly far away, and take my children out of school, there must be another way.
Surely you don't need a 50/60k salary to be able to live a basic life in the south these days 😭

I feel stuck, and can't think of a way out.
Any bright ideas?

slider the fact that OP asked about fostering allowances in her opening post on that linked thread tells me what I need to know. I have a ds with asd and there is no way I would consider fostering as it would be detrimental to my own son and unfair on the foster child. Fostering isn't like having your own baby where the child with asd will eventually adapt as foster children can come and go and you never know what the child is who is placed with you is going to be like.

You said that your husband 'protects your way of life'
NO he does not! He wasn't forced to join the army like they were in the old days, he CHOSE to do that. Also you wasn't forced to get into a relationship, have kids and get married to an army guy. Also he has a good salary for being in the army so there you go.. that's his incentive so there is no need to rub our noses and say 'he is protecting us' I have differing opinions on whether the army today are actually protecting us but I won't voice them on this thread.
I think you should go move in with your husband as paying for 2 rents is not helping you

Agree with sidge - moving every 9 months is very strange - postings are usually 2 years. Unless he is volunteering to move as he has no ties to any particular place. Maybe stepping in to cover gaps etc. If you moved in to married quarters it would be unusual for him to be moved so
Frequently due to the disruption to his family. Believe it or not the military is actually pretty good at taking family into consideration wherever possible. I say this as some one who is serving. The life insurance is optional. He could get his own independently. We pay £40 a month with legal and general. Both serving and it lays out 500k upon death.

Also accommodation for a single person free if you are married which bothers the unmarried a lot and I can see how that would be frustrating so he shouldn't be paying for his accommodation on base. I assume he ha told them he is married? And changed his category with the army?

Next - it would surprise me if he wasn't going out at least once a week drinking with the rest of the livers in. I'm sure he isn't just sat in his room every night. That will be affecting your disposable income aswell.

1450 in rent is shocking - a 3 bed married quarter will probably lay cost arouns £300 a month.

The move might be disruptive to your son initially but how much better would it be for him to see his dad More often. He would adapt. I say this as someone with an Autisitc sister.

Apply for a married quarter.

Surely a move to married quarters is less upheaval than op fostering kids to make money or ending up in prison for the benefit frauds she has been carrying out.

Could your husband live in a camper van if he travels around a lot ? Wd that be cheaper than two rents ? Or even a Mobile home / caravan ? I'm not expecting him to be uncomfortable - just trying to think outside the box ..

Oh sorry just read he is in the army ! Ignore my suggestion .

I bet the op is feeling very badly done by this thread, nasty strangers calling her out for her benefit fraud when she feels she's been straight and all above board!

Really shocking behaviour.

As someone else said here, these programmes about "benefit scum" always portray someone with a few kids who refuses to work and seems to live in squalor somewhere rough, it never shows the middle class mummies who live in a naice area and keep up appearances whilst fleecing the system of thousands of pounds they aren't due, in fact the image I get of this op is someone who'd watch a "benefit scum" programme and loudly declare how disgusting someone like that is, because they would never do that

Some of you were just plain horrible people, enjoy your high horse- remember the higher the horse the further the fall

she'll be falling from some height when the DWP catches up with her

just seen the op posted this on a thread where "someone" was worried if they are committing benefit fraud

I think by calling you won't be treated as a criminal, it won't go to court etc you will just need to pay back what you have received and have not been entitled to.
You may be able to call and say you are now working and need to end your claim and no questions would be asked. Guess it depends who's on the phone!
I have been in a similar ish situation not to the same extent or length of time but similar & was freaking out about declaring my change of circumstance later than I should have. They didn't question the date of my change I just called and said I have had a change and would like to end my tax credits claim. Then housing benefit automatically stopped so I didn't have to talk to them at all. I haven't been asked to repay anything but I am prepared that I my be asked to. (It's fairly recent)

so it sounds like she got lone parent benefits for years then got married and called to tell them she was married and living with her partner and because they never asked how long she'd been living with her partner and because they just stopped her housing benefit she kept the truth to herself

bloody awful.

housing benefit too?!

OP you are a fucking disgrace!

Bloody hell ssd that post makes it sound like OP knew she was in the wrong all along which is the opposite of what she has been trying to convince us of on this thread. 12 years of fraudulent benefits is an awful lot of money. I'm rubbish at searching for people's past posts but the people on here who have done so have really opened my eyes.

Mum You need to bite the bullet and move into MQs. That will save you shedloads. It is possible that he is being moved as he was a single guy, but now he is married he could try sorting out his postings to be less haphazard. Depending on what he is doing, you could settle in one area and he goes married unaccompanied. If he is RN, then if he goes to sea, you should get an MQ in the base area, and can settle there. Even if it is just for a couple of years to straighten out finances, it will be worth it.

As to the unstable for school age children, I coped, as have many others, and it didn't harm my education. In fact, a premium is paid for Forces kids, and you get special consideration when moving into a new area for schools.

The crazy life insurance can be rejigged if he has the sense to do it via PAX, which is the HM Forces scheme.

I do know what it's like....I married an RN Officer in 1986, and he retired in early 2014 and we are still married, so been there, done that and got the T shirt. There is stacks of family support now, you just need to learn the system to use it to your advantage.

Oops, just seem that the OP is using the system to her advantage! That'll teach me to rtft.

Ssd that also reads to me as if she declared marriage later than she should have also.

The whole thing is just despicable

it is

I hate posters who search other posters posts, but in this instance I feel its justified as the op is really at it.

Would love to know where these super cheap areas are that people live in we lived in London paying £1600 for a two bed - recently moved out and pay £1300 now but commute for husband costs £400 a month. We spent months trying to find somewhere cheaper, only areas we could find that were slightly less (still £1100 ish) would have meant a commute of an hour and a half each way min for him IF trains were running on time etc.

I'm sorry you're struggling op, living in quarters really does sound the most doable at the moment and given how rubbish the rental market is, most people would jump at the chance of reduced rent. You wouldn't necessarily have to move every 9 months - I know your partner might but you would be given a house and allowed to settle. I would also try passing the debt back to his mum somehow, it's hanging over you.

So basically you can no longer manage on what's left of yours and your husbands wage because you don't have tax credits you weren't actually entitled too topping it up !!

Claim married persons tax allowance. Can be backdated one year.

I think you need to move in with DH. I know your son has asd and it makes things much more complicated but life for everyone has to continue. You can't stay as you are anyway, something has to give.

Move into his accommodation and save for a house deposit. Put a deposit on a property somewhere cheaper but nice and rent it out

Hi

Maybe it's time to look for a different job yourself? That's probably what I'd do OP.

I wouldn't look at how to make meals cheaper I.e not always having meat or use cheaper meat some nights. ALways meal plan and stick to it. Stick to Aldi cheaper than anywhere else.

Go on Martin Lewis's website he has a great section on how to save money and a checklist. But definitely go on a price comparison site to compare electricity and gas rates etc.

Some apps can offer you extra money it's not loads but might make a difference for you. On my maternity leave I've made a few £100. They are market research apps so answering survey qs for money to your PayPal account or high street vouchers. OnePulse, Enlightly, Voxpopme, valued opinions, ipoll, qmee, AttaPoll.

I wouldn't look at other areas to rent if you can't even pay bills that will impact your family more than moving schools. Children are very adaptable.

X

Can be backdated one year.

Only if you have been married for that year, which they haven't!

Go veggie?

Could you child mind?

Have you even rtft?

People can stop suggesting ways for the OP to reduce her outgoing snow that it has been established that her real Problem is that she can no longer fraudulently claim benefits and hasn't yet figured out how to maximise income by fostering a child. She really isn't looking for budgeting advice.