Not enough money but don't think we are entitled to benefits?

[Mumoftheark]

Hi I am recently married and previously was in recept of working tax credit and child tax credit along with a proportion of housing benefit as my then partner did not live with me.

We recently got married so my claims with the above ended - even though he still not not live with me (work related).
We are REALLY struggling financially now and are about £500 a month short, & apart from moving up north from the south have no idea what to do.

His wages are 35k, I'm self employed and bring in maybe £600-£1000 each month but am primarily a SAHM. With private rents as horrendous as they are we are just not making it each month.
We have 2 small children and because of his work and the fact he lives away I live like a single parent 98% of the time. With childcare costs & travel into London to work, (there's not much where I am it's a small village) me going to work outside of my business would leave us with less money not more 😩 Plus I honestly don't know how I would juggle 2 under 5s and a job on my own with no family support what so ever.
I started my business to enable me to bring in some money but work around my children but at the moment it's still fairly new and just not making what we need it to.

My question is because of my husbands wage are we not entitled to anything as its not considered a low wage even though we can not afford to live right now?

We don't live unnecessarily above our means, no social life what so ever, none of us drink smoke, have fancy clothes shop in waitrose lol etc, we haven't been away for 6 years we are living day to day hand to mouth.

Our rent is a disgrace, we do live in a nice area (house it's self is ok - fairly small nothing to right home about) & my eldest child has just started at an incredible school, we have looked about to see if we can find something cheaper locally where I wouldn't have to change my sons school, but there is literally nothing, everything is stupidly overpriced. I really don't want to have to move fairly far away, and take my children out of school, there must be another way.
Surely you don't need a 50/60k salary to be able to live a basic life in the south these days 😭

I feel stuck, and can't think of a way out.
Any bright ideas?

I don't understand how you were able to claim any benefits previously if you weren't technically single. If OH is father of the kids then he should pay for them.
As military you will get extras like Pupil Premium kids do like free school meals, school trips paid for, help with uniforms.
We got by on that amount - just - for about 5 years. I think you have possibly been a bit spoiled with a decent income plus all the benefits.
You need to work more hours (like the rest of us) and live somewhere cheaper too (like the rest of us)

op, I dont think you are being straight with us, I've just been reading another thread and you were on it discussing why your housing benefit was stopped...you seem to have fudged a lot of this and got away with it

Actually I totally understand you OP, yes, you would expect that with £35k money should be less tight but the fact is that your rent is the same whether you live together or alone, utilities are almost the same, council tax is only slightly cheaper and the only real savings you can make are on food / clothes / disposable income.
As people above said, rent is your main outgoing and is high. I understand the sentiment of living somewhere nice and close to your family but I don't think you can afford it. You won't be able to save £500 anywhere I'm afraid to cover the shortage.
In your situation you need to either cut the rent and move somewhere cheaper or increase your earnings. Sorry. I understand how frustrating it is when it feels like you should have money but you don't.

op, I dont think you are being straight with us, I've just been reading another thread and you were on it discussing why your housing benefit was stopped...you seem to have fudged a lot of this and got away with it

I have seen this too.

This thread isn't the full story.

OP, I totally understand where you're coming from. DP and I earn 45k combined, we bring home 2,900 per month.

But rent and bills are 1000 (we live in Kent)
My travel card into London is 450
My partner spends 250 on his car. He needs his car for work, and we use it at the weekends to visit my family in London (train tickets would be £20 each way!)
Childcare is 1000.
So it looks like we earn loads but we are haemorrhaging money. After all that, we still need to pay for food, baby clothes, etc.

It's not as simple as move to a cheaper area sometimes. Maybe you could, but then travel will cost more!

Hi all,
I'm going to leave this thread it's not really getting anywhere unfortunately.
Lots of nasty and accusing comments that I can not be bothered to keep trying to defend.
Others have said they have also been in my position regarding receiving the tax credits that I did legally but for some reason that's being ignored. I'm not sure why this has also become the topic of conversation as it has absolutely nothing to do with my present situation.
I'm not spoilt, a money grabber, a criminal, a low life, lazy .... whatever else I've been called on here. I'm just a mum who right now is struggling and trying her best to get on top of our finances without having to uproot her family and cause distress to my son who suffers very badly with change.
I thought this was a place to openly discuss money matters and get advise, I did not know it was a place where people became keyboard worriers, calling another women names because they think they know her situation and have it all worked out when actually they don't, and are not even prepared to listen.
You've made your narrow minds up about my circumstances, it's upsetting but at the end of the day I know I'm telling the truth so I don't need to worry about what a group of illinformed strangers think.
My husband does a job to protect your way of life! The majority of you have no idea about how that effects the family and the sacrifices that we all have to make.
I work my arse off as well, right now the money I'm getting is going straight back into my business so we are not using it to live on, I'm trying to build a better future for all of us but right now it's fucking hard, and in the short term I'm looking for ways not to drown.
Saying I should work more hours is stupid and ignorant - do you know how many hours I work at the moment? Did you ask? Nope you just assumed I wasn't doing enough.

I didn't come on here complaining about not getting benefits, I know 35k is above the national average but that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to be finding it tuff does it?I came on to ask if anyone knew if I was entitled to anything, and if anyone else had any ideas of ways to save some Money - that's all.
Some of you were helpful so thank you. Some of you also totally understood why 35k although seems a lot doesn't stretch very far for a family in the south.
Some of you were just plain horrible people, enjoy your high horse - remember the higher the horse the further the fall

My husband does a job to protect your way of life! The majority of you have no idea about how that effects the family and the sacrifices that we all have to make.

Tbf you have absolutely no idea as to what other posters, their partnets or their families do. None at all.

I'm just a mum who right now is struggling and trying her best to get on top of our finances without having to uproot her family and cause distress to my son who suffers very badly with change

Maybe trying for a child isn't great idea right now then?
Also How would your son deal with you being a foster carer and having different siblings coming and going?
Please let us know if Housing Benefit do actually tell you to repay the money you've fraudulently claimed.

Wow

Or in other words you've been found out by posters searching your other poss, which I have just done too.

12 years of being together with a family before getting married and claiming all that while? sheesh OP.

At a loss to work out why you even married if you've no intention of living together.

So basically you was in a realationship with someone in the army, had kids with him, had his wages and claimed to be a single mother, now your moaning you can't commit benefit fraud, because you wanted to make sure you get paid out if he dies in action. Get a grip woman. Go and live on barracks

That's the point op, you were a family before you were married yet claimed benefits as a single parent.

no one has called you any names op, but its pretty clear you have claimed benefits fraudulently

I'm on minimum wage and together me and dh get less than £24, 000 a year, I'd love to live on what you have. I totally agree with you re rents, they are far too high and the only ones who benefit are the landlords....but this doesnt distract from what you've managed to do, live somewhere you can't afford by claiming money you weren't entitled to....and thats not me up on my high horse, its someone who has a lot less than you calling you out.

mumofthe just looked you up and you have stated clearly on a previous thread that you chose to be SAHM rather than work. Many of us are gutted we missed out on the early years as we had to go back to work. So by your own admission you have opted to not work and to claim benefits. So yes yiu could work more hours to up the family income. You also overspent on the wedding.

Wow, 12 years of fraudulent benefits claiming, absolutely shocking OP.

I hope you feel thoroughly ashamed of yourselves but I doubt it, people like you who think the world owes them something never do.

Let's hope no one reports you IRL, 400+ a month for 12 years is huge, you'd be facing not only paying it back but prosecution as well- and rightly so. Appalling behaviour!

Is OP really Planning to become a foster carer? That will have a bigger negative impact on a child with asd than moving House would have. I hope she wants to be a foster carer for the right reasons and not just for the money.

"My husband does a job to protect your way of life!"

He wasn't conscripted, was he. And he gets recompensed by his salary.

Apparently so Six

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/fostering/2854861-Forstering-in-west-Hertfordshire

Funny there's no mention of her sons ASD in the thread.

Seems OP fancies screwing as much money out of any system she can. Housing benefit, tax credits for a start and then when it looks like oh is off somewhere dodgy, better gat a but of paper so she can screw the army for insurance. Its likes she wants to continue funding her naice middle class Hertfordshire life without actually paying for it.

Meanwhile there's 1000s of people desperate thanks to government cuts to welfare, disabled people being forced back to work, etc etc etc. Its as though if people that shouldn't be taking from 'the pot' there's be more for those that need it.

Funny isn't it, you watch channel 5 programs about life on benefits and how they can barely afford to put food on the table. Some people judge those people as feckless jobless scum. Seems to me there are many different varieties of scum, some just float higher in the water.

That certainly looks like fostering is seen as a way to get money

Despite various pp asking the question OP didn't tell us she lives in West Hertfordshire. Plenty of 2-bed properties available for far less than £1400pcm (even getting on for half that if someone was willing to compromise)

I thought OP only had a two bed house so with two children where would the foster children go?

Probably to live with her husband- after they've "seperated" so they can both illiegally claim WTC etc this time, not just the OP.

The main problem is obvious and has been pointed out several times. You are paying far too much on housing. Your rent alone is more than you should be spending. Add in whatever he's paying for his accomodation and it's no wonder you're struggling. Unfortunately, you don't seem willing to consider any solutions and just see reasons to avoid fixing the problem. Move home, to a cheaper area if necessary. It really is that simple and your son will adjust.

He wasn't conscripted, was he. And he gets recompensed by his salary.

Exactly.

Plus there are people on this threadincluding me who have partners or families in the services.

OP is coming accross as very entitled.

I think you just have to accept that you cant live in the area you want. Your area has to match your earnings. Watching Location Location Location most people never get to buy in a similar or better place than renting when it comes to the London area.