Broke for a month

[Temporarilyskint]

i know the way these threads can go - I am not asking for money and while I think it is incredibly sweet when people offer I won't accept

Sorry for above disclaimer.

Have namechanged as I'm a bit embarrassed and my ex stalks me on here.

We've no money. Well, £40. That's to get through to the end of the month.

We have no oven, or microwave. We do have a toaster.

No access to credit.

Fuel costs are high due to having to take my son to school. Not sure if there's a way around this. (He will hopefully be starting at a new school which is local in 2016 but for now it's tough.)

Fussy cats need food.

Argh. I am partly posting for advice, and also partly for emotional sounding off as I'm fed up of thinking about money.

If you have no access to credit, but own your house then I am assuming you paid cash. Is it possible to get a loan against the house? it sounds like it needs work doing to it and this may be the most sensible way of doing it

Is doesn't have to be all or nothing. Accepting a bit of help from the school (there is no reason they will call social services- they see things like this every day) or going to a soup kitchen/ food bank.

Do you have a local Children's centre? They might be able to help with a bit of childcare while you sort things out and I bet they have other resources too. People don't go running to social services just because someone needs some help once. They will do what they can to help you first.

There is no reason why you need to put your kids up for adoption and you're not a bad mother- you just need a leg up, that is all.

I'm cross-posting with you, sorry.

Look, stop catastrophising. The only way out is NOT to give up your children. It is to make a plan, and to get on with it. Which I am sure you are more than capable of doing.

If your issue is and was that you are "broke for a month" then it is temporary and there will be a payment plan/solution that will come, so that you can live in a place with non-faulty electrics and a working cooker, and although you may continue to be a bit more skint for more than a month, because of the sodding electrics, it will come good in the end. If it is temporary and you have a plan, then you don't need to worry so much about outside agencies, because you're not going to be of serious interest to them. You'll be managing, getting on with it.

If the situation is more serious, and you will continue to struggle with money for the basics, then you need to face up to that and consider what the next step is, and how to manage that so that both you and your DC get the best help.

I don't understand exactly how you are in the position you're in - you've bought a house with no access to credit that has crap electrics and you don't have a job... that is pretty unusual set of circumstances, so that's why it's really hard to advise you about what to do for the best. But you're not a crap mother for wanting to keep your DC safe and happy and struggling temporarily. Just be sure you know and are honest about how temporary it is, that's all.

I don't think i'm the one catastrophising. I'm just saying i might be a useless mother but they haven't got anyone else, so ...

Op you may have changed your name but your posting style is very familiar.

Don't you have assets you could sell like horses, and rental income from properties?

I will apologise if this isn't you but if it is, you are being very disingenuous. There's living in poverty and then there are wealthy people with bad money management.

If it's a case of the latter at least be clear so people aren't wasting their time.

Goodness you stayed away for a long time - bored? :)

It isn't that unusual to have no access to credit if the OP has just moved. We completely wiped out everything we had when we moved house.

But I agree in general about the approach. OP, sit and calm down and think logically. You cannot live in a house with no electricity. The weather is turning and in all likelihood your heating won't work without electrics. You need to sort this out now.

Things are good now and they will be good for you. I hope you'll consider the sure start centre they are very very good.

Not bored just pissed off that you are wasting people's time yet again.

There are people living in real poverty (who have tried to help you on this thread ironically)

Well I hope you get whatever it is you're after.

If the sockets aren't working, your fridge and freezer won't be keeping food cold. Have you checked them today?
If you're starting a new job, can you ask them for an advance on your wages?

And don't you have assets you can sell?

You are not a shit mother. It sounds to me like you are struggling and afraid. We don't know the circumstances that put you in the position you are now in, nor are you obligated to share. I wish I had words of comfort or advice. Please take care of yourself and your children.

That's the problem atticus

Since purple has as good as highlighted my posts with my name on them I will explain.

In the spring of 1978 my mum and dad were expecting a baby and found a ramshackle old farmhouse in complete disrepair. Property was a lot cheaper then and it had a lot of land but was falling to bits. My dad was head of department and my mum was a secretary and they were comfortable but not rich.

They had their baby (my older brother) in winter 1978; three years later I was born, my dad became a deputy head, my dads surviving parent died and left him some money in 1987 then mums parents died in the mid 1990s. And my mum kept their house because the property slumped. And my parents were a bit older when they had me so I guess the mortgage would have been paid off around that time. And then my mum died in 1998 when I was 16.

Then I met the man who would become my husband. I didn't have much to do with my dad (his choice not mine) as he went a bit funny after my mum died. But he gave us a house deposit and we had a mortgage and all that.

Then in summer 2011 just before my ds was about to start school I left - I won't go into it. Naturally I went 'home' and that was the farmhouse and my dad was living there with another woman and he said to stay here but he had to go on holiday and we'd sort everything when he got back. But he didn't come back as he died. I was 29 by then. The will hadn't been updated since 1988 - everything went to me and to my brother. That was the farmhouse and my mums parents home (just a 3 bed terrace nothing fancy) and also a small flat my dad had bought with his final pension payout.

At first my brother lived in the farmhouse with us then moved into the flat. He was troubled always (he has autism) and anyway he killed himself 10 months after my dad died.

So I got the lot. Farmhouse and flat and grandparents house. Lucky me except I don't feel very lucky most days. Most days I want to throw it all in the river Severn to see my dad and brother again. I don't miss my mum. I can't remember her too well.

So my husband and I had a baby and then we had another baby and then I had to leave and finances were tough but I had a job so I thought - if we move, if we move from the big house to the small house we have money from the rent.

And so we will but the agency take the first months rent so I'm stuck for now.

And I am bad with money but I'm not a bad person.

I wish you would believe that.

I don't think you're a bad person.

OK, clearer. Thank you. So no mortgage payments, and income in the form of rent from 1 or 2 properties? Plus income from a job?

Can you take a loan out against any of the properties? Even a small one should be possible if it is for essential works. You can take a small BTL loan out if you need to, against the rental income, and this will not affect security on your house you're living in.

Lots to do. But do call some electric people - you don't need to know exactly what's wrong to get someone out to quote.

Squirrels sort of, I won't get the income from the farmhouse until the end of this month which is why I'm saying its temporary. I have a small income from the flat but this is only £400 p/m which obviously doesn't go very far!

Op a foodbank referral is not a reason of concern for child services.
I mean this in a nice way , you need to put your dc before your unfounded anxiety about using a food bank. The same goes with asking school for free school meals. Your dc need decent hot meals.

I don't think *purple outed you in any way.

But even having heard your story I'm none the wiser.

You have assets and you'll have money in a few weeks from the rent.

So get the electrics sorted and focus on the wellbeing of your children rather than focusing on who had what baby in 1978 and what job your mum had. Your story is simple, you have property and you have moved from a larger property which is rented out into a smaller property. You have a cash flow issue, that's all. Its very simple.

Nothing matters apart from getting the electrics fixed because you have children in the house.

Yeah but a food bank is no good is it - can't heat the food. I can afford food - some food - but can't heat it up.

so get the bloody electrics fixed

Look, this could veer off track easily, and I do not wish to overwhelm you, but if you are a LL you need to take control of having money aside for essential expenditure on the properties you rent out. Or you'll be stuffed if you're spending everything you make from them. I have been a LL.

Anyway.

In the short-term, talk to your letting agents, who will have recommendations of electricians and tradespeople, who may very well be paid on account if it's for someone they'll do business with again. The electrics is the real and present danger, and the rest is fixable if you can muddle through.

I know and we did. But then my marriage ended. I am still not home so I can't try with the electrics again and I think what some still don't realise is that I don't know how much this costs and if it runs into thousands then well - I can't afford it.

But if I ask people for help I will just get responses like up thread from purple and there's no point.

Sorry but you're being ridiculous.

Get someone out to have a look and give you a quote. Then you'll know what it costs.