Broke for a month

[Temporarilyskint]

i know the way these threads can go - I am not asking for money and while I think it is incredibly sweet when people offer I won't accept

Sorry for above disclaimer.

Have namechanged as I'm a bit embarrassed and my ex stalks me on here.

We've no money. Well, £40. That's to get through to the end of the month.

We have no oven, or microwave. We do have a toaster.

No access to credit.

Fuel costs are high due to having to take my son to school. Not sure if there's a way around this. (He will hopefully be starting at a new school which is local in 2016 but for now it's tough.)

Fussy cats need food.

Argh. I am partly posting for advice, and also partly for emotional sounding off as I'm fed up of thinking about money.

You don't need to know exactly what's wrong with the electrics, you don't need to try again when you get home, you need to ring round and get someone out to give you a quote for the electrics.

If it runs into thousands, then you need to get a loan against a property, or even sell one of them, both of which are possible. You do not have the option to say "I can't afford it" if you have faulty electrics and children in the house. If you did, THAT'S what would get you in trouble with SS.

Purple just said you had assets you could sell. Which is not factually incorrect.

I am still really sympathetic to you, OP. But you do need to take action. Faulty electrics will not get less faulty by tripping some switches to turn off some sockets and hoping for the best.

You're getting responses like Purples because they are the logical responses. I'm sure you can see that really, even though it is overwhelming and feels totally shit.

It is clear.

To look after your children effectively you need electricity. You can get quotes sorted today- there is no obligation to get them to do the work but at least you'll know where you stand. If you cannot get electricity sorted then you will need to consider other options. These could be staying with a friend, your ex caring for your children, asking for help from authorities.

Your son will let it slip to someone if it continues and people will get involved anyway- it will be easier if you sort it yourself.

Good God OP. You need to get over yourself regarding your post at 10:31.

Regarding your past, it sounds awful and I am very sorry for your losses, but I could go back to 1987 when my life started and ream off a post that would read like one of those novels written by ex foster mums. The period of my life between 19 and 26 would have Jeremy Kyle astounded.

Nothing that is in your past is preventing you from lifting the damn phone and asking for help. So I suggest you take a deep breath, stop being defensive and fight through this latest patch of shittyness.

I don't want to hear anything about how harsh I am being. Of course it is harsh. I am not some callous old bint that is taking delight in this. If I thought you lived anywhere near me I would be offering you use of my electric/washing machine/cooker. But listing off all the shit in your past does not explain why you are so reluctant to ask for help now, today.

What a very strange read this thread makes.

I can only think you should have posted in Chat OP. Posting in Money Matters makes no sense st all. People are giving a lot of time and consideration in their posts, but you have your fingers in your ears, you don't want to hear any of it.

Believe me, there will be a tradesman who will wait 30 days before they expect payment. Get your house sorted for the sake of your children.

Good luck OP. Try tackle this a step at a time. You sound really strong

This thread is driving me crazy OP. Yes the right here and now is a bit rubbish, but the overall picture is actually pretty comfortable by most people's standards.

And yet you absolutely refuse to engage in any practical solution to the present temporary problem, preferring to be hostile to most of the posters on here who are trying to help and be positive - and some of whom may actually be in MUCH worse situations than you.

Stop with all the hand wringing and woe is me, because nobody else but you can sort this - so pick up the phone and do something proactive and positive to help you and your kids.

Just sitting on your hands moaning on MN isn't going to achieve anything.

How on earth would you deal with the same problem if one of your tenants called to say they have the same problem you have at home?
You can't just tell a tenant tough, you'd have to call around and get quotes and get it repaired straight away.

Treat yourself like you would your tenants.

The house you now live in, have you been renting out previously? So have you as a landlord been letting someone live there with the electrics like this?

The replacement cooker cable is approx £5, and getting it fitted about £20 (or free if you know a handyman or electrician,ask on fb if anyone is or husband is one) But you need to know if that is the main problem or if you have a major wiring issue considering other things are causing it to trip out too.

Op the major issue is the electrics and you do need to get that looked at and sort out a plan for sorting it. While in theory you do have assets that you can sell I can appreciate that it could be slightly tricky if you are not actually divorced and the financial settlement sorted yet, it adds in an extra layer of issues to deal with however it is worth looking into selling one of them probably the flat. You mention the farmhouse has land with it? are you letting it out as the house or as a farm ie is the land included in the rental or not if not you could look at selling off some of the land it should release enough capital to sort out the house and provide a safety net of savings in case any of the other properties go wrong. I know one concern is the washing but hand washing enough to get by till the end of the month if you need to is not difficult however that is dependent on getting the electrics sorted. Any decent electrician would come out and quote for the job and I'm another one who lives in an area where you pay at that point not given an invoice for later but your priority must now be to sort that out and to find a way to do so and the only way to do that is to find out what work needs doing and what it will cost so get someone out to quote.

What a frustrating thread.

So you can't afford to fix the electrics. How do you know? You have no idea what it will cost.

But let's be honest - how much it costs is IRRELEVANT. Because it NEEDS DOING, regardless of whether you have £40 or £40,000 to last to the end of the month. So just get a fucking quote and go from there.

Oh, and just to repeat what countless posters have already said:

1. Freecycle is not a charity, it is an environmentally-motivated community initiative
2. You need to have electricity if you want to keep your children safe and warm. This is not 1820.
3. Your DC's school can help. Get over yourself and let them.

I recently had the upstairs light fittings changed, some new sockets installed and lights put up outside the house. The electrician that did it would take cash or a cheque there and then, or he offered an invoice with 30 days to pay.

Sorry to sound harsh but for goodness sake, stop feeling sorry for yourself, get some electricians out for quotes and put your bloody children first!! Another circuit could blow and then you might have no heating or hot water and then what?!

SS won't take your children from you for a temporary situation like this, but by not taking steps to improve their living situation I'm afraid I think you are being neglectful, so you will have to suck it up and ask for help.

If it's true that you have horses then you could do with selling them - cash for the immediate problem, and maybe a cushion for future things that crop up if you have a few/good breeds. Surely you can't afford to look after them properly?!

I really feel for you OP, I'm sure it can't be easy and you have good reason to not want your ex involved but your son will end up saying something innocently at some point if you don't sort this out now.

You've had some amazing advice on this thread OP,please take it on board, for your children's sake.

It only happened this morning please give me a chance

Ok. Your anxiety sounds like the real issue here. The school will pick up on this - keep your dc off school any longer and they will call you in and flag you up to SS.

Sell your car. You should get free school meals and transport to school if your income is below £16k, which I'm guessing it is. Sell one of your properties in an auction? Come up op, there's loads you could be doing... And if your ex is abusive you will need to flag this up with the relevant authorities.

You have options, it's just your anxiety is getting in the way. You sound like you are suffering from major brain fog. Sorry

Please take some sort of proper action now.

Even £400 sounds a fair amount though surely if you have no rent or mortgage to pay.

From that you pay what? Utilities, petrol and rent? And atm no electricity?

OP a very blunt question. You have no electric other than lights. You wont call an electrician because they may quote more than you think you can afford. So, how exactly do you see that panning out? There is a very limited amount of time you can survive in a house with no electrics. What exactly do you plan to do if its not to have the electrics fixed? You really have no option if you expect to keep your children in that home. You MUST have them fixed. If you dont then you should take your DC to their dads. It is not fair to them to keep them there without hot meals or heating or hot water.

Yeah I'll take them to their dads (it's me just name changed back.) Thanks.

Well what's it to you lux? What actually is it to you?

Tell me what you want from me as 'proof' that I intend to 'do something' and that I don't just 'have my head in the sand.' Go on. Tell me.

Yeah. I have. I posted it. You just don't believe it. Your choice. YOUR CHOICE.

This is all very weird. Suddenly really aggressive. Not sure we have all the real facts or that the OP cares that plenty of people have given time to try and be supportive and make helpful suggestions.

Anyway I hope your poor children end up ok and are able to have a hot meal and a warm bath tonight.

I agree there is something very weird about this. I'm out.

OP bear in mind that even if you do take your DC to their dads then you will still be in a house with no electric and until you get that sorted you wont be able to bring your DC home. Tbh, you really wont be able to live there yourself will you? You HAVE to get it fixed. It will be a whole lot easier doing it now and working out how to pay it later than waiting and causing a load of hassle with your ex by turning up with the DC and then trying to get them back. Seriously, save yourself that heartache and just get the electrics done now before it gets to a point you dont want to get to. And there ARE companies, even small ones who will fix it for no immediate payment. My friend has been in this situation and used services (washing machine repair, locksmith) and explained that she doesnt get paid until end of the month. They have done the repairs and waited for the payment.