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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Broke for a month

437 replies

Temporarilyskint · 11/11/2015 21:05

i know the way these threads can go - I am not asking for money and while I think it is incredibly sweet when people offer I won't accept

Sorry for above disclaimer.

Have namechanged as I'm a bit embarrassed and my ex stalks me on here.

We've no money. Well, £40. That's to get through to the end of the month.

We have no oven, or microwave. We do have a toaster.

No access to credit.

Fuel costs are high due to having to take my son to school. Not sure if there's a way around this. (He will hopefully be starting at a new school which is local in 2016 but for now it's tough.)

Fussy cats need food.

Argh. I am partly posting for advice, and also partly for emotional sounding off as I'm fed up of thinking about money.

OP posts:
Maryz · 12/11/2015 20:42

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Leavingsosoon · 12/11/2015 20:42

That means a lot beebar, you are a very fair person.

I'm dieting so no real Cake but let's have some virtual.

ZeldaTheWindBreaker · 12/11/2015 20:42

I really feel for you, Leavingsosoon.

I was having some financial problems a while back, too. I name changed for anonymity as i felt utterly ashamed. I didn't want anything except some advice. I also put a disclaimer that it wasn't a begging thread, and that my situation was only temporary. Everyone was really lovely and helpful. But i did have to keep repeating that i would not accept any donations and would ignore any PMs offering financial help.

You did this too! Several times on this thread. So I am stunned as to why people are accusing you of tricking them. You are perfectly entitled to be vague on threads in order to remain anonymous. You didn't ask for people to offer donations. You stated (again, several times!) that you were only after general advice (as was I in my similar previous thread). Any member of Mumsnet is allowed to post on here for advice. Money Matters is where i posted too, even when I didn't want people to offer money - I just wanted tips on how to get by with no money for a very short period.

It's really a shame that unless people are in constant poverty on here, there's this stigma about asking for any type of financial advice. I don't know the first thing about property (renting a crappy council flat at the mo) but surely it's not as simple as just selling one off? Surely there needs to be a lot of money put into selling a house? Lawyer fees, repairs/decorating etc?

I hope that your situation is resolved soon. I think that it might be worthwhile for you to move yourself away from this thread now or you'll just face more stress. You have received a lot of advice already and I hope that goes in some way to helping your situation.

When I posted, my financial situation was only for a week. But if I knew it was going to go on any longer, I would definitely have had to swallow my pride and seek outside help such as food parcels, posting on gumtree for freebies etc.

i know nothing about children's services but i am almost positive they would not remove children due to their mother having no current income. However, living in a house with faulty electrics would be a concern for them.

I suggest going around the house and put one electric item back on at once. Wait and see if the electrics trip again, if not then put on the next electric item/socket until they do. And then don't use that item/socket once youve identified which is causing the fault. When this happened to me the electrician told me the 'tripping' was actually a good thing as it was the electric safely shutting itself off to prevent fires/shocks occurring.

For me, the first time, it was the washing machine. I was totally skint so ordered a new one on credit from Very (only just paid it off!)

The second time around it was the oven.

If you go to CAB about a food parcel referral, they have a duty to maintain confidentiality if you request it. SS do not need to be made aware of every person who needs a food parcel. there are so many people using the charities now that it's really not seen as that big of an issue (unfortunately). Once you get the referral, you can explain at the foodbank that you have nothing to heat stuff up with, so they can give you things that dont require heating. it might not be a great amount, but may help slightly. Also, i know you said earlier that you don't have any means to pick up a parcel. But do yu know how far your nearest one is? Is it walking distance, and you could bung the bags of food over the handles of the pram on your way home? If not, talk to CAB and they could look into someone delivering things to you?

TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet · 12/11/2015 20:43

AHEM

Leavingsosoon · 12/11/2015 20:46

Maryz, look, I do actually like your posts and I have never set out to mislead deliberately. All I can say is I did get really helpful advice here and on the other thread I think you mean (CAB)

All my threads don't go like this, in fact. Perhaps financial ones more than most but I have to admit that this is undoubtedly the area I struggle most with. I'm not brilliant with money anyway - I'm not an organised person and also things have been so complicated at times that I struggle to understand.

But the point is, please, remember I posted last night. The tone was supportive. I felt like I wasn't alone in difficult circumstances. I know you know what I mean.

I can be scatterbrained, impulsive and disorganised but I'm not a bad person, or a stupid person. But I don't have many avenues of support at the moment.

Believe me I feel much better than I did when pregnant. Pregnancy and me don't get along. I like my babies more on the outside of me :)

KatharineClifton · 12/11/2015 20:47

Just remembered the oven OP, one ring on mine flips the fuse. None of the others or the actual oven. Taken the knob off that one and all is well. I know it's wired in properly, just a shit oven.

Leavingsosoon · 12/11/2015 20:48

Cake zelda (and olivia :))

I know it's stupid but I'd rather any friends knew about my sex life than financial difficulties. It really embarrasses me that I struggle with this area but I do.

(not that I have sex these days)

TalkinPeas · 12/11/2015 20:48

OP
Do you own the properties outright or 50:50 with your ex (even though you inherited them from your family?

Which firm of solicitors did the probate / conveyancing?

Talk to them and get the title deeds tidied up - they can put a charge on one of the properties for their fees
then get one of the rental properties mortgaged up and get two of the properties up to scratch and registered with an agent to provide you with a steady income

get an accountant to help with the tax

you are very wealthy owning three properties outright

if you hate the properties because of the past then sell the blinking lot and move to somewhere you do like
and have a bucket load of savings

Leavingsosoon · 12/11/2015 20:51

I don't hate the properties, at all and I agree I am very wealthy in terms of assets but not in terms of actual cash - at the moment.

This will change. The two I don't live in are being let out - but the bigger of the two (thus the main source of income) is not generating an income yet due to letting agents' fees and so on.

The only thing I'm trying to explain, is I didn't win the lottery or something - to gain property I had to lose people, and it's not like they were three very elderly people if you see what I mean.

TalkinPeas · 12/11/2015 20:56

Have you mortagaged any of them up to improve your cashflow?

Have you got the solicitors to sort the deeds?

Have you registered with HMRC to account for your letting income?

Maryz · 12/11/2015 20:56

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usual · 12/11/2015 21:01

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Leavingsosoon · 12/11/2015 21:03

I do believe you Maryz

I have never thought you are spiteful, unpleasant or crabby. Ever.

Talk - no, yes, yes :)

Cash flow will be fine next month. It's just lately I do seem to have been exploding money and it just isn't coming in.

Once I have fixed amounts coming in monthly things will improve, I feel.

Leavingsosoon · 12/11/2015 21:04

I probably will usual but they need to be in my sole name before I can do that. Flowers

wannabestressfree · 12/11/2015 21:08

Well said maryz.....

TalkinPeas · 12/11/2015 21:11

If they were left to you, how on EARTH was your husband's name put on the deeds
a pretty shoddy bit of probate work

and why have you not already been advised by your accountant to mortgage one of them - for tax and cashflow reasons

get a new accountant

Leavingsosoon · 12/11/2015 21:14

We were married and still are technically.

I don't think mortgaging a property for one month is great advice peas sorry - that makes no sense to me ?

Darvany · 12/11/2015 21:18

Is your STBXH demanding half the rental money?

Leavingsosoon · 12/11/2015 21:19

No, not at the moment :)

TalkinPeas · 12/11/2015 21:20

Why on earth would you mortgage for a month?
Get a 5 year mortgage on one property and use the cash to get the house you live in sorted properly for you and your kids.

And the fact that you are married has no impact on whether your husband's name should be on the deeds of property you inherited
you have been badly advised if that has happened

Darvany · 12/11/2015 21:23

That's good OP. I agree you have been very badly advised.

listsandbudgets · 12/11/2015 21:32

OP, you've had hell of a kicking on this thread. Certainly you have assets but that does not mean you have a pile of cash sitting in the bank. From what you say, it sounds as if you can not liquidise your assets because your ex still has his name on the title deeds.

I am sure this is a sensitive issue but is not clear whether you are divorced from him. If not perhaps now is the time to seek the advice of a solicitor and start that process. You need a house for you and the DC - probably the one you're living in. He needs a roof over his head - there's a good chance he'd get the flat. Then the farm house would be sold and the capital divided between you and not necessarily with him getting a full 50%. Don't forget his assets will be in the pot to be divided too and he will probalby have to pay ongoing maintenance. I'm NOT a solicitor but if you ask over on legal someone will give you far better advise than I can. In short you need to liquidise, secure the future for you and your DCs and invest what you can. I'm sure this will be a big emotional hurdle for you but I think you need a clear financial position and split of assets so you can get on with your life.

I don't judge you for being scatty or disorganised or bad with money. I see an exhausted woman with a tiny baby, young children, a long school run probably after a broken nights sleep having just left a horrible relationship. Give the OP a break everyone and have some compassion - I don't care if she owns a million and one properties - she's knackered, an emotional wreck, still dealing with long term unresolved grief and finding it hard to cope.

DeoGratias · 12/11/2015 21:32

And get rid of the cat! No one can say they are poor if they have the luxury of feeding an animal they don't need.

Leavingsosoon · 12/11/2015 21:43

lists, thank you - what a lovely, lovely post. Thank you.

I think the threads ended on a nice note so I apologise again if anyone felt misled, it was categorically NOT my intention, and hopefully it won't affect the support offered to anybody ever.

usual · 12/11/2015 21:48

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