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Original poster

Broke for a month

437 replies

Temporarilyskint · 11/11/2015 21:05

i know the way these threads can go - I am not asking for money and while I think it is incredibly sweet when people offer I won't accept

Sorry for above disclaimer.

Have namechanged as I'm a bit embarrassed and my ex stalks me on here.

We've no money. Well, £40. That's to get through to the end of the month.

We have no oven, or microwave. We do have a toaster.

No access to credit.

Fuel costs are high due to having to take my son to school. Not sure if there's a way around this. (He will hopefully be starting at a new school which is local in 2016 but for now it's tough.)

Fussy cats need food.

Argh. I am partly posting for advice, and also partly for emotional sounding off as I'm fed up of thinking about money.

OP posts:
KatharineClifton · 12/11/2015 16:39

Why does the OP need a GP? I didn't know they also did electrics

Leavingsosoon · 12/11/2015 16:53

Swiss do me a favour and leave my parents out of it. I know not one banker never mind one that remembers my parent(s).

AndNowItsSeven · 12/11/2015 16:57

Some of these posts are horrible . Wallowing in the past??? The op has lost both her parents and her only sibling , have some compassion.

Beebar · 12/11/2015 17:00

Katharine I think it's apparent the op could do with some sort of help wrt helping her cope with dealing her traumatic family history with still seems to haunt her, and with dealing with her marriage ending/new beginnings. Also, she may be in need of a gp referral to be able to access a food bank.

Leavingsosoon · 12/11/2015 17:00

The thing is - my mum and dad were just normal people. Middle class i suppose, but a long way from earning mega bucks - I've told you what they did, my dad was a deputy headteacher, my mum was a secretary but then she retrained and was a teacher too.

They were born in 1945 and were older parents so that 'helped' financially - part of the baby boom.

They should still be alive; I should not be sole heiress to 3 properties, my dad should be in one and renting out the other two and then he should have died at 76 or 86 or 96 not 66. And then it should have been split twice as my brother should still be here.

People say I'm living in the past. I'm not. I'm just telling you not to use what I have to beat me with. I don't want it - I want my parents.

swisscheesetony · 12/11/2015 17:01

WTF? You go to a small village/town bank where relations & community remain strong and you ask for h.e.l.p. This has nothing to do with your "parents" or "bankers" as such, it's about leveraging assets and help available to you.

I give up I really do.

Leavingsosoon · 12/11/2015 17:02

I wish you would. I really wish you would. It doesn't matter how big or small the village is, you can't take out a loan on a property you jointly own with someone without their go ahead.

wannabestressfree · 12/11/2015 17:10

This is painful..... Just phone an electrician

atticusclaw2 · 12/11/2015 17:11

Aaagh! I've been sucked back in.

OP I sympathise. There are clearly some deep rooted grief issues going on here. You do need to see your GP.

BUT

This is not about your dad or your mum or your brother or your three properties. Its not about whether you can get a bank loan or know any bank managers or about whether people are envious that you have so much more than many.

This is about the fact that the property you live in has no electricity and you can't cook for your children. If there are problems with the sockets you will have issues with the fridge and the washing machine as well as the oven and it may well affect your heating.

Get an electrician out tomorrow. Sort the electrics. Then worry about how to pay for the work.

You will have solved an enormous problem and you can then focus your attention on how to manage your money so that you can pay the electrician's bill at the end of the month.

It really is very simple. But I suspect you are finding everything too much to cope with atm. Lots of us have been there. You can deal with it but you must focus on one thing at a time and your thing is the electrics.

Please just make an appointment to get the electrician out. NOW.

MushroomMama · 12/11/2015 17:11

Who do you own the properties with? Is it the ex?

I lost my dad when I was 15 I was homeless by 17. I understand your grief but I also want you to consider the here and now.

Horses,houses whatever. The situation as it stands is that you have no working sockets therefore no way of cooking for your dcs and little money to cook with. This is a real immediate problem.

I've already made suggestion of the children's centre. Have you access to an overdraft even if it's unofficial? How bad are things with the ex would he be willing to take care of the dcs or lend you a microwave or the cash for one?

Focus on the useful advice you've been given and get going ok!

You don't want ss intervention so don't invite it in by doing nothing. Things will get better but you've got to take serious action on this

Leavingsosoon · 12/11/2015 17:33

I did phone an electrician. Two.

I told you what they said.

Ladywithababy1 · 12/11/2015 17:34

I might have missed that bit, sorry - what did they say about payment for fixing it?

Leavingsosoon · 12/11/2015 17:36

The first one said that to do basically what I did before - turn everything off then on again. He is going on holiday today but after that will come out for a fee of £45

Second one said the same and that washing machines etc are the usual culprits.

He will come out for £40.

Will try the sockets when I get in.

wannabestressfree · 12/11/2015 17:38

So that's it then..... You give up....
Your life has been sad shit happens. I won't tell you the things that have happened to me. When I seperated my boiler went and I had nothing. At all. No money.
I got a loan from provident at a 1000% and fixed the bloody thing.
You can do better. You are choosing not too....

KatharineClifton · 12/11/2015 17:59

wannabe it's time for you to step away from the thread and stop bullying the OP

Leavingsosoon · 12/11/2015 18:05

Wanna I've only explained about all this because 'lucky' isn't how I'd describe acquiring the houses.

Talkmeoutofthis222 · 12/11/2015 18:09

Hi op - I remember all your previous threads (disadvantage of having such unusual circumstances?) and remember you were worried about your Dc spending time with your ex. How are they after contact?

One other thing... Sorry to be blunt but iirc you were pregnant and due in July? I know you were going to have 2 little ones and were considering an au pair.

I hope you're ok as there's no mention of the baby? Sorry a million times if I'm being insensitive or missed something along the way.

Thanks
Leavingsosoon · 12/11/2015 18:12

I didn't mention her because I was trying to stay anonymous :) I often get recognised because we have such a strange family age gap wise.

Talkmeoutofthis222 · 12/11/2015 18:17

Eek - so that's even harder? Are you bf? You must be exhausted. If you're ff then I guess the kettle is a complete essential?

I've come this far, so I'd really like to wish you all the best. I remember how hard it was to get out of your marriage, and how de skilled you felt. I wonder if some of today's angst feels worse as you're already full of self doubt?

Leavingsosoon · 12/11/2015 18:19

It's true my self esteem is battered! Still have a sense of humour though somewhere - that'll be the last thing to go.

I tried to get her onto formula this week funnily enough but she's not having any of it.

WheresMyBurrito · 12/11/2015 18:27

How would you be sterilising bottles etc OP?

Do you at least have heating in the property?

NotTheSpiceOfLife · 12/11/2015 18:32

OP I am truly sorry for your losses and j mean that most sincerely. It must be really hard.

But. When I PM'd you last night and said 'I have fuck all, but you're welcome to half of it' - did it not occur to you to tell the truth about your situation?

I will support and help anyone in need. But you're not in need like you insinuated you were at the beginning of the thread.

I feel a bit duped tbh, and that's the first time I've ever felt like that. You have been disingenuous. So I'll hide the thread now. Good luck, again I mean that most sincerely.

Leavingsosoon · 12/11/2015 18:42

Oh sorry did you miss the part in bold where I said I wasn't asking for money or goods?

Did you miss where I explained I was trying to stay anon not to 'dupe' people but because of my ex?

Did it not occur to you that the guidelines say you shouldn't give more than you can afford?

And did I accept your offer?

Don't blame me for your actions, do not place them at my door. They have nothing to do with me.

wannabestressfree · 12/11/2015 18:43

I am not bullying her- get a grip. This isn't a poverty striken person with no available means. They are the posters I feel for. I read the whole thread and I am just incredulous.

Leavingsosoon · 12/11/2015 18:45

I know I'm not poverty stricken - hence struggling for one month which was both the title of the thread and explicit in the name I changed to.