Drowning in debt and cannot talk to people in Real Life? A problem shared is a problem brought into perspective - come and join the lens.

[Ta1kinPeace]

This thread is loosely linked to several previous ones on the same topic.

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
Everybody is welcome to share problems, ideas, solutions, but not be judgemental please

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help explain how
SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

Ah
Right
I shall check out the small print!
Plan is;
Shove money in savings - build a decent amount up
Overpay by 20% over the fixed rate term and this will pay off the extra we've borrowed (and a bit more!)
We also aim to keep shortening the term each time we renegotiate
Couldn't have done it without this thread or you TIP!
Thank you 💐

...I should also add we've been helped by the fact that house prices have gone a bit mad round here again 🙄 and dhs promotion of course

But I'm hoping it will give us a lot more "wiggle room" and when we have a bad month (repairs etc) it won't be a massive issue

We aim to have 6 months of dhs salary saved eventually

Dh wants to retire early and we need to start making plans now

Feel like a bit of a fraud with this update but here goes...with rising house prices in my favour and a very low mortgage rate I've refinanced...everything. Have enough to pay off all debt, am £400pm month better off and have reduced mortgage term from 17 to 10 years. I'm relieved to say the least...and totally focussed on getting the mortgage paid off as quickly as I can will still hang about the thread if no one minds

That's fantastic!

I keep googling houses that would mean we'd be debt free. We live just outside London and have £200k equity in the house. £12.5k of consumer debt (on 0%).

Problem is, the nearest house that suits our needs is in Wales . I'd go, but my kids Dad wouldn't be up for it! (We're not together)

Ah well... we'll just keep chipping away at the debt.

Mum4
WELL DONE

greeb
chipping away is the way to go

I am so worried. But of a back story but I'll try not to waffle. My small business folded in 2007, I was a wreck dealing with family issues too. Had to see gp, diagnosed with reactive depression. Since then I cannot deal with anything stressful. Had a few small debts at the time which were sorted. Settled debts at bank for car loan and a few other bits and bobs. Out of the blue I have received a letter from the bank that had been trying to reach me at my previous address. They want me to confirm my new address as they have some information about my account. I just assumed the account had been closed. Now I am worried to death about replying to this letter. If I go to the CAB will they help me deal with this? I can't tell my partner as it would be the last straw. I need to sort it out as I am so stressed and anxious. I know I am silly for not sorting things out properly back when it happened but my mind was not right. Thank you for reading.

horace
When did you move?
Do you own your current address or are you a named tenant?
Do you have any other bank or financial information coming to your current address?

To the best of your knowledge do you think you owe them anything (other than charges and interest) ?

TalkinPeece, thank you for your reply. I live with my dp and registered at this address sometime around 2009. I really cannot think if there is anything else that I owe them, my mind is so shot to pieces that I cannot remember the majority of things that happened around then. I am thinking would it be worth popping into my local branch of the bank and asking to see someone but I am so scared of them digging up extra things that I don't know about. I know I really need to take responsibility for all of this as I am a nervous wreck. I don't work as we have no one to help out with childcare, I am trying to find an evening job at the moment. I only receive the child benefit each month, my partner pays all the bill's etc so I cannot put anymore burden on him. Do you think if I went in and offered them £50 a month that would help? I so wish I had handled things differently.

I know I need to find out what is going on first but can't even bring myself to look on Experian etc. It may not be as bad as I think but after this many years surely the charges would be horrendous. I feel like I could die, my heart is beating so loud, I feel dizzy and just want to sleep. Not a grown up way to deal with things though!

Hi Horace
Breathe. Count to ten and breathe

Do not offer the bank anything at all.
Just go in and comment that you've not had their usual junk mail and could they check that they have your correct address. Get them to correct it and then walk back out.

Experian : if it was really shit, you would already know. THey would have found you.
Therefore it cannot be that crap
therefore you need to find out what is or is not there

and breathe and count to ten

Ok - need to take this in hand - guess I need to have a look at the spreadsheets, make a plan and get busy with it :) . Wish me luck, courage and resilience please.

RocketScience
You are starting a long journey but it will be worth it.
Make the first step and hang on in here.
We'll be there to firmly grasp you by the shoulder as you go

Thanks - the hanging on in there is the key. And having a budget that works.

Is there a new thread?

Hi what's happened to the thread? Is there a new one somewhere? 😁

I don't think so - and it's a bad time of year.

Shall I start a fresh one ?

Good idea. 🙂

New thread ....
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/3439641-Drowning-in-debt-Dont-know-how-to-get-out-You-are-not-alone-Come-and-share-and-find-a-way-through?watched=1