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Original poster

Drowning in debt and cannot talk to people in Real Life? A problem shared is a problem brought into perspective - come and join the lens.

996 replies

Ta1kinPeace · 10/09/2015 18:04

This thread is loosely linked to several previous ones on the same topic.

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
Everybody is welcome to share problems, ideas, solutions, but not be judgemental please

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help explain how
SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

  • yesterday is as past as the Crimean War
( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )
  • this is an anonymous forum
( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )
  • this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt
( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Mum4Fergus · 11/12/2016 23:39

Thanks TiP...I'm still a bit Shock if I'm honest. Sat today and worked out my plan. Initial sum will pay off storecard and free up £80pm and will pay off remaining phone rental giving an extra £23 extra PM...added to his £500pm that's £600pm to start knocking off the various debts...think that might actually be light at the end of the tunnel Smile

ILOVEKISSINGSANTACLAUS · 12/12/2016 10:01

Bumping for wonderstuff

wonderstuff123 · 12/12/2016 11:21

Hi Guys,

Was wondering if anyone could help on this post.

I have an overdraft of £3, 250 that I am always in and am desperate to get out of. In the summer, I took out a 0% credit card and did a cash transfer from there to clear it, thinking this would be the best solution. But I stupidly kept the card on the account and now it's back up to it's max again. I'm so frustrated that I can't seem to get out of it. I know my budget down to the last penny and earn enough to cover that but it just seems to be spending little bits that gets out of control, I feel very ashamed. Can I please have your advice about the best options for me? I've narrowed it down to these two.

  1. Get another card to do a cash transfer into overdraft account, cut up overdraft card and only use my account that has no overdraft on it for spending on food/petrol etc. Pay off the card monthly.
  1. Open another bank account with no overdraft, transfer all my direct debits to there. Cut up overdraft card and pay off monthly to the account.

I'm guessing number 1 is the best option as I won't be paying monthly interest on my overdraft, I'm just very cautious about getting stuck in the same situation as I did a few months ago where I end up back in the red. But if I cut up my overdraft card, that shouldn't happen.

Any advice welcome

cozietoesie · 12/12/2016 13:53

What sort of 'little bits' are you spending on to get this basic runaway situation?

wonderstuff123 · 12/12/2016 14:53

I think what's happening is I'm taking £10/20 here and there. And also, I have a separate account for savings, things for the house but don't have a card on it, so when I need to use some of it, I'm using my main overdraft account and then intending to pay it back, which I'm not doing sometimes or forgetting to.

I think I know what my solution has to be, I need to get rid of the overdraft and the card as quickly as possible.

TalkinPeace · 12/12/2016 16:05

What is the limit on the card?
what is the minimum monthly payment (as a percentage - it will be on the statement?)
set up a standing order on the card for the minimum of its limit
do NOT let them up the limit
that will then clear the card down in a year or so, with allowance for emergencies.
Now.
Write down every single penny you spend each and every day and see where you can save
no more coffees out - have it free when you get home
no more snacks
no makeup till the new year
you have to be really strict about the fripperies that add up to scary amounts
and after a month or two of getting out of those habits the overdraft will stay gone

cozietoesie · 12/12/2016 16:51

Are you using one of those 'contactless' cards to spend these little bits and pieces? They often don't seem like real transactions - you might be better off withdrawing an allowance in cash and spending that if so.

cozietoesie · 12/12/2016 16:53

PS - or not spending it as the case may be. Grin

Mum4Fergus · 12/12/2016 19:55

Hi Wonderstuff...I found moving to a weekly cash budget for everything really helped...I withdraw it on a Monday, and when it's gone its gone...no top ups or card payments. I wasn't long in reigning my spending in doing this x

cozietoesie · 12/12/2016 20:05

Handing over cash money can surely make you think about your spending.Smile

TalkinPeace · 12/12/2016 20:12

Utterly agree about cash spending.

From when my kids were in their early teens they got their birthday/clothes spending money as cash.
We would then go down to West Quay, I'd slope off to the cafe for a coffee and leave them to roam.
They would go round all the shops twice, working out what they wanted and what they could afford.
I was always amazed and impressed by how far they made their cash go - and as overspending meant coming to find me and my card,
they didn't Grin

cozietoesie · 12/12/2016 23:37

Now that is sneaky, TIP. Youngsters can do 10 miles easy going round shops but ask them to travel 10 yards to meet their Mum...................Grin

horizontilting · 27/12/2016 10:39

Bumps thread gently up the page for people looking for it.

sooperdooper · 27/12/2016 10:48

Hello folks :)

I need to get my debt sorted out, I'm paying out about £350 a month in payments at the minute, it's on credit cards so the minimum amount is fixed (even though most is at 0%) - I just feel like I can't see the end of it :(

I've been thinking about getting a loan to cover it all, cut up the cards/close the accounts and at least that way I can see when it'll paid off, or should I just stick it out and keep swapping the balances to different 0% deals as and when I can?

HaveAWeeNap · 27/12/2016 11:54

Do what Peace always recommends - whatever your minimum is THIS month then fix your payment as that, whether that's by setting a fixed DD or switching to a standing Order for that amount. It will then come down every month.
Switch interest free deals on cards until it's sorted.
Get an app if you can and then the night before pay day if you've anything left you can transfer that directly to the card.

Vajazzler · 05/01/2017 18:31

Hi all. I'm sorry to jump into your existing thread but I'm hoping someone will take pity on me as I have made it my top priority to sort debts this year.
Brief history is fuel debt with npower. Gas and electric. Was on a prepay meter so not such problem but in august last year we were evicted (not due to debt, due to landlord selling). We were unable to find another rental so were housed in temp accommodation by the council 30 miles from home town. We were in a real mess emotionally and with the stress of traveling 1.5 hrs to school in the morning and again in evening trying to keep on top of work and everything else it got forgotten. At the end of October we were very lucky to be housed permanently but house was a shell with no flooring, bare walls etc and spent the run up to Christmas trying to make it habitable so still not thinking of debt. Now I want to get it sorted but lm scared that if I contact npower they are going to demand we pay a huge chunk off first before they set a monthly payment up and we just don't have a chunk to offer.

So, is there somewhere I can get help negotiating payments?

Vajazzler · 05/01/2017 18:32

That was longer than I thought it would be! Sorry!

Notreallyhappy · 06/01/2017 10:01

Stepchange can help with utilities as should citizens advice.
Others will be along to point you in the right direction soon.

Vajazzler · 06/01/2017 16:58

Thanks Notreallyhappy

TalkinPeace · 07/01/2017 15:26

Hi there vajazzler
New people are ALWAYS welcome on this thread.

NPower can jump up and down and scream all they like but they may not take from you more than you can afford and Utility companies are on very shaky ground if they put people into further fuel poverty.

Write to them notifying them on your new address, detailing the dates you moved and why and request confirmation of the current balance so that you can restart the payment plan.
Send the letter recorded delivery.
If you can, at the same time, set up a standing order to them of £5 a week to start paying down the debt.
If you can show willing they will really struggle to get any court orders against you.
Also by the time they respond, the amount will be lower than what they are chasing Wink Grin

And in the mean time, keep a really close detailed record of every penny of income and expenditure so that when they do come knocking, you can justify, with evidence, what you can afford to pay.

TalkinPeace · 07/01/2017 15:28

Hi sooperdooper
Strangely enough I'll reiterate what weenap says.
Standing order time.
Avoid consolidation loans like the plague. Nasty smelly things.
A mixture of 0% deals, standing orders and strict spending controls and you can rattle through the debt faster than you expect.

Vajazzler · 09/01/2017 09:32

TalkinPeace Thank you for your reply I will do exactly what you have suggested. That has really set my mind at rest a little.

cozietoesie · 09/01/2017 11:05

....Avoid consolidation loans like the plague. Nasty smelly things....

Grin
throwingpebbles · 17/01/2017 10:16

Hello, please could I jump on the thread too?

throwingpebbles · 17/01/2017 10:28

Oops, posted too soon!!
Ok here's my background - spent my early twenties paying off debt from studying at law school (post grad) busted a gut to pay it off fast,
lived in a horrendous flat etc etc....

Fast forward ten years and am now back with debt again ...feel really demoralised about it!! Basically I left emotionally abusive exH and then had a series of legal battles (he was basically using the court system to try and attack me). I also got in a mess with tax credits, I tried so hard to be open and honest but those forms bamboozled me so much (and I happily do very complex SDLT returns at work!)

So now I have £5K on a credit card (0%) and £2K owed to HMRC (pAying it off at £50
A month) .

It would be a lot more if it wasn't for my new and very lovely DP and my parents who have both helped me out a lot.

I feel really ashamed that I am bringing debt into the relationship with DP, as he is so good and careful with money.

We are buying my ex out of this house (with DP savings) and would like to then buy a bigger house (4 kids between us!).

But I know I want to take responsibility for my debts, and get them right down by the time we are in a position to buy. And that means really working on how I spend money so I have a little to put away.

My weakness is definitely my kids! They have been through so much, and I would do anything for them. But I need to get more strong willed about buying "stuff".
My other weakness is definitely "frittering" - lunches at work, extra bits and pieces from the shop round the corner, a little treat for the kids....