Drowning in debt and cannot talk to people in Real Life? A problem shared is a problem brought into perspective - come and join the lens.

[Ta1kinPeace]

This thread is loosely linked to several previous ones on the same topic.

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
Everybody is welcome to share problems, ideas, solutions, but not be judgemental please

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help explain how
SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

Don't be.
Read the intro to this thread again!
Ok...
First thoughts...
Can you take a payment holiday on your mortgage? (Some let you do this)
What about the other cards? Can the payments and interest be frozen on those too?
Pick up more shifts if you can
Do a comb through of where your money goes each month...it can be enlightening!!
Make sure your insurances etc are the cheapest you can get (use moneysupermarket or similar) and switch
Some banks are offering £150 each to switch current accounts...that could clear one overdraft?
There are some amazing 0% cc deals atm - Virgin are doing 40 months interest free - could you switch or transfer cc debt to one of those?
Also contact catalogues and tell them you are struggling and they will accept less
Than min payments for a while
Sorry you find yourself in this position - it's soul destroying isn't it?
Good luck

Would you be prepared to stop the kids activities?.

Meant to say check out MSE for Best insurance and 0% deals

Tied into phones for another year I think, car for 3. Out mortgage is with our banks and we had to have the accounts in the same place as part of the terms and conditions. I would be terrified to ask for a break in the payments as I don't want them finding out. I just keep thinking I need my credit report and debts to look a hell of a lot better next Oct when it's due to be renewed. Is that stupid? Out credit is so far past being able to get anything like 30% let alone 0%! I think if I do 2 extra nights a week that would be £1000 extra. I could get my mum to take on the swimming but the tutor (transfer in Nov) has to stay. Have spent the past few nights going through everything and tomorrow night will be sitting doing calculations of everything/spreadsheets. Thanks for not judging.

Goodness. What's to judge?

How much are you spending on food do you reckon? And where does it come from? (including work/ school meals and fly coffees etc.)

PS - how many DCs are the activities for?

I think that the thing to remember is that if you really tighten your belts, it doesn't mean that you can never have extras ever again - just until you stop paying out all of this interest and instead have that money to indulge the non-essentials.

No judgement here X

Well the 10yr old does martial arts, he is representing the county and is very, very good so I think I really need to keep it on. My mum can pay for the swimming and then the 3 year old does ballet, which she adores. I know it may seem pathetic and it's nothing in the grand scheme of life, but I would feel such a bloody crap mother that at this stage in our lives I can't afford £7 a week to send my dd to ballet.
I spend roughly £50 per week on food. £20 in home bargins on payday for cleaning things and baby wipes. I'm trying so hard with meal planning. I'm a rubbish cook and I really struggle with it but I am.getting better. Dh has got a bike and we sold the 2nd car so saving on that plus no train fares. I'm feeling a bit better about the thoughts of an extra £1000 per month. September will be tough but if we can get through this we can start to cracking away at it. I also have an interview with a nursing agency to do the shifts with rather than my own hospital as they pay more. Can get around £500 for a 12hr bank holiday shift.

There's a balance to be achieved, I guess, but remember that it may only seem like seven pounds a week but over the year it represents one cc cleared. (And cut up.) I suspect there are also 'extras' for the DC's activities? Over and above fees, I mean. Trips, transport costs, costumes etc?

Still, if you can pull in more with extra work - and not break yourself doing that!

My ds gets his transport covered and only has 1 kit. He does need another one but I haven't been able to afford it at the min. Dd thankfully had tutu etc paid by my mum but your right I'm sure there will be other things as they go through the years.
I want to try an see how long it will take to pay off if we make these over payments so we have at least a goal to work towards. I don't know the interest rates though. How would I find that out? I have read through so much of this thread. You are all actually really really inspiring me and dh. Thank you

I'm only just at the beginning of trying to sort myself out (literally days) but I just wanted to say that there's nothing to be ashamed of. My post a couple of days ago read much the same as yours but honestly the fact you've posted here says such a lot. I'm still trying to work out where to save money and how best to go forward so not in a position to advise but keep posting, it's made me feel much better. and for you.

It should be on your statements MrsRyan. I did agency work for 10 years, I was reliable and good with patients so I got a lot of work.

Some agency workers would accept work then not turn up, I don't know if it's like that in your profession as well.

I had such a productive 2 hours this afternoon. Our TV and Internet after going through the statements is about £70 per month. And it's Virgen and shite! on the Martin Lewis site today and discovered a way to cancel it without paying any fees, rang up and it worked! I then got a voucher thing for sky through his website. Got all the channels plus the movies on a 12 month contract for £20 per month foe 12 months with free Internet. When.I ran to ask about it and told them we were leaving virgen they gave me another discount of £3.50 per month. So unlimited Internet plus every channel for £16.30 a month. Plus my dh does on call work and needs the Internet at home so can get a voucher for £10 per month towards our bill plus they pay the line rental! Why did he never tell me this before? He has got the firms signrd by his manager already. So in total I will be paying £6.30 a month for the full package. Now I'm a good bargin hunter, but that's the best I've ever done!!

Well done. That's £765 saved a year from a few phone calls.

Money saving expert are doing a collective switch on their energy saving club, worth a look? What with winter around the corner.

Bad Dh not telling you about the voucher. Rolled up newspaper on the nose for that one.

Have you looked at cashback sites?.

Well done. Bet you never thought of it before now?

(Just be careful at the end of the 12 months. These firms tend to have introductory deals which terminate abruptly and they suddenly try to swing you into vastly increased charge.)

charges

Yes I assumed it would be that price for 12 months but an 18 month contract so suprised they are advertising it for 1 year. Fluffy I hadn't even thought of it like that,that's 2 of the smallest credit cards! I had a brief look at the swapping gas/electric it asked for my postcode buy I'm in Ireland so it said it didn't recognise it. My dh is going to spend time looking at bill insurances etc this weekend.

Insurances are potentially another biggie - they, along with comms and tv providers etc, are heavily into inertia selling. (It might even be worthwhile to re-insure mid stream if you can see a good enough deal.

Good luck.

Welcome to the newcomers
ffs ~ sand and mrsryan

First up,
feeling ashamed achieves nothing.
Get angry, get loud but do not be ashamed
its a negative,passive emotion and you need active, aggressive ones to get you back on the straight an narrow.

Second
Work out exactly what you owe, to whom, what interest rate.
Put each debt into my spreadsheets (linked in the opening post) and work out which order to whump them that will achieve the best result.

Any that you can, use the standing order trick
the maths is complicated, but if you pop your debt into the spreadsheet you'll see that freezing the payment at this month's amount saves you around 10 years of repayments.

Finaly
TALK TO YOUR OTHER HALF
He's not very thick. He knows something is wrong.
On one of the earlier threads it turned out poor chap thought she was having an affair. Debt was a might relief that they could share and deal with

But do keep posting as anybody who starts to get judgey on these threads gets booted out by yours truly.
Judgement is for those who have made no mistakes.
I've never met them.

Thank Talk, it's amazing the difference 24hrs can make. When I first posted I had spent the day in tears and after reading this thread and lovely points made both me and dh are optimistic and determined to get on top of this. No more tears here!

Well you're doing well. Look at the results of just those phone calls this afternoon.

I almost agree entirely, Talkin, although I'll have to reserve the right to get - at least slightly - judgey about some of the bigger commercial and financial organisations.

cozie
My mistake was to ever have dealings with many financial products.
My two endowment mortgages turned me into a permanent cynic.

mrsryan
If you work together and keep your eyes on the long term goal, reducing spending and chewing down on debt gets easier every month.