Drowning in debt and cannot talk to people in Real Life? A problem shared is a problem brought into perspective - come and join the lens.

[Ta1kinPeace]

This thread is loosely linked to several previous ones on the same topic.

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
Everybody is welcome to share problems, ideas, solutions, but not be judgemental please

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help explain how
SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

There are some really great 0% cc deals atm - I think tesco have a no fee one!
Is there any reason you can't switch?
Look on the MSE website
And don't be ashamed...lots of us in the same boat X

If you feel you need to speak to someone then I recommend CAP - they are very good with both advice and actual help

The reason I can't switch is because I'm 'over indebted' and nowhere will lend me anymore money. I'm so fed up. feel like there's no way out at the moment. I'll have a look on mse thank you.

Yes - definitely don't be ashamed, Ffs. There are plenty in the same boat and actually talking about it is a massive step forward.

One thing you said, though - that you 'can't even say why.....'. You really need to sit down and work out where you're spending the money. Have you ever tried to do that?

I would ring step change. Is it more than one card?

What expenses do you have if your Dh pays the bills?.

I have my car, insurance, petrol, phone. I generally buy food for us and the dog.

My plan tonight is to go through the last 6 months bank statements and work out where I'm going wrong.

Also going to finish application for family tax credit - not sure we'll get anything but it's worth a try

Just spoke to card company and they've reduced interest rate for 2 years so that helps quite a bit.

I'll stay on the thread for other advice

Thank you

Right, so you have bills. One of my old bosses worked out she spent more running the house than her dp spent on the mortgage. So she moved house to even it up a bit.

Food, start shopping at aldi or lidl if you don't already. Men don't notice if you don't tell them you've swapped supermarkets. It's really quick to get in and out of aldi too. Say you're tired of traipsing around huge sainsburys.

Car insurance, are you due for renewal? It's much, much cheaper to shop around for quotes. Adding named drivers helps too, it could be your Dh or your parent. Doesn't matter. Use money saving experts car insurance section and do searches on all comparison sites. Then go through topcashback or quidco and get cashback on the sale.

Phone, are you near the end of the tariff? You might be able to switch to a cheap provider like iD mobile. If not ring your provider anyway and say you need a reduction in costs. See if they can reduce your monthly payment.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/credit_crunch/2711906-Frugaleers-chatting-and-saving-even-further-into-August?. read the op on this thread, it's got all the links to old money saving/frugal threads. Very useful.

Don't be ashamed, just crack on and get yourself out of it so you can try for the new baby you want.

Thank you! I'm going to try all of those, insurance not due until October but will definitely shop around. Never tried Aldi as its a faff to get too but will give it a shot this week. Normally buy all our meat from the butchers and fruit from the greengrocer as its better quality and cheaper so only really cupboard stuff we need so I'll give it a go!!

Going to ring phone provider now. I really want another baby but more so I'd like disposable income and to enjoy my life again.

It took a lot to write on this thread but so glad I did.

I'm afraid that you really are going to have to broach the subject with your DH. There's likely going to be trouble ahead for your relationship if you're counting the pennies (and being concerned) and he thinks there's nothing amiss and is blithely spending money on luxuries.

You're a partnership after all.

PS - but knowing where you are will make the whole thing much easier, I reckon.

I agree with cozie
There have been several posters on this thread who said similar and told their partners and in every case they felt much better

Sorry not read the full thread. I have quite a lot of cc debt/ overdraft I am trying to reduce. What is the standing order trick please?

Excellent. If you have any blue ikea shopping bags put them in the trolley and sweep it all in as they scan it. Try the dog food, our cat has their food and likes it. Try the basic range, it's really good. You'll need a pound for the trolley.

I still use a butcher too, veg I buy all frozen apart from potatoes. I'm not one for prepping veg. Iceland is best for cheddar, £3 for two 450g blocks.

Meal plan if you don't already and take lunch to work etc.

You could try swapping current accounts for the switching incentives, I do quite well out of them.

Standing order trick;

You cancel the DD & pay a set amount each month. Otherwise as you pay the DD the DD reduces a bit each month and you think "ooh excellent my debt is reducing" but really their spinning out the debt because you pay a tiny amount in debt and lots of interest.

Pay by SO and you pay a fixed amount each month and the debt goes away much quicker.

Okay, I've made 2 phone calls and have managed to save £60 a month so far! I vaguely meal plan so I'll look at being stricter with that too. Already take lunch to work. Will also look at talking to dh - he'll be fine just disappointed as he'd really like baby no. 2 also. I think it's because I've been burying my head in the sand I haven't spoken to him.

Feeling motivated today, thank you again. I'm hoping there will be an end in sight. I've taken credit card out of my purse and I'm also going to start doing the envelope method again - I used to do it pre Dc and it worked really well for me (even though I had no debt) so I'm hoping it will again.

Well done. Keep going, that's just two phone calls. Let's see what shopping at aldi and meal planning achieve.

You've probably got loads of food in the freezer & cupboards.

We have got a freezer full, once bedtime is over and done with I'm going to go through it and see what we've got and make a plan! Then I'll do an aldi shopping list!

Excellent. You can pay down debt with the savings you make.

£60 a month from two phone calls is brilliant.

Well done indeed.

Thank you Fluffy . I will change my payments over.

Still feeling motivated today, meal plan and completing benefit form is on this mornings agenda.

Good going.

It's sensible to do a bit each day, it's very draining otherwise.

So here is the disaster that is my life. DH and I plus 3 dc. I have had to reduce hours in work and have had 2 maternity leaves practically on top of each other. The last one basically entirely funded by credit cards but returning to work wasn't an option during to sick baby. Anyway I think we are in debt to the tune of just over £21000 (so ashamed writing that) monthly including child benifit we get £3130. £1450 is on mortgage/ rates/ gas etc plus car/ mobile/TV. £250 is for kids swimming/ballet/martial arts/tutor. Will need to add £80 a month to this soon for top up in nursery. £80 for overdraft fees and small saving account. We then pay £1100 on 'debts' 6 credit cards smallest £250 largest £8000. Also £2600 on catalogues (the only way we have bought kids clothes or birthday/ Christmas) this total of debt also doesn't include or car, the £10,000 a relative lent us for house deposit and £2600 in overdraft. Which we are always at the end off. This month I have £7 left over for food/petrol. There are other outgoings this month's so no activities or tutor is included in r total. I do bank shifts and that's basically what we live on although won't have any pay until Sept 15th from those shifts. No payments have been missed. The big card has the payment reduced and intrests frozen but that's it. Have to renew our mortgage next year and I'm terrified what will happen when they see this. I just feel so ashamed and burn out. Not a sinner knows about this. We look so well off because of our house and our jobs. We are both NHS so very easy for people to see what we earn. We are 30. We never had a debt or credit card in out lives until nearly 3 years ago when we bought the house. Mortgage is £600 got that down from £890 last year. I don't even know why I wrote all this but I can't carry it alone (with DH) any longer. Spoke to step change and a few other places. They all do a budget and say we have enough left over. We bloody dont! Cant get a consolidation loan from anyone either. I so so ashamed.

No need to be ashamed. Plenty of people posting or reading here who either are, or have been, in comparable situations.

What in that expenditure list is non-essential? (Nice to have but you don't really need it.)