Drowning in debt and cannot talk to people in Real Life? A problem shared is a problem brought into perspective - come and join the lens.

[Ta1kinPeace]

This thread is loosely linked to several previous ones on the same topic.

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
Everybody is welcome to share problems, ideas, solutions, but not be judgemental please

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help explain how
SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

I'm sorry but I suspect this is one for the Relationships board, even though you dislike it so. There's so much been going on in your life apart from just the money aspects that I suspect you're going to have to make some hard choices. That board might be the better place to discuss those.

That's good. Do you feel better for having some control over your situation?

Wow!
You lot have been busy while I've been on my hols.
Welcome new people.
Credit card debts : get them onto standing order ASAP and then you have space to breathe.

Other debts :
phone contracts - how low can you go without losing service ? I'm on PAYG that costs me about £7 a month
TV : do you really need pay TV
Charity donations : sorry but they should be paid out of spare income, not added to debt.
Random subscriptions : cancel them
Weight loss club : save the money and spend it on clearing debt. And the less you spend on snacks the more you'll save

you need to look at all of your bills and statement every month and onion peel the spending

but the standing order trick is the best start

Finally a breakthrough I'm able to consol 2 loans & start to repair credit rating. That leaves me with 2 good loans & mortgage. In 2 years loans paid off so only mortgage left. Lots of equity in the house so was hoping to extend (by remortgaging !!). However I've crunched the numbers & we could instead pay off the mortgage in 10 years - the kids would be college age. Now (only in my little fantasty world that is keeping me sane through this) what would be better to do ? We like our location but I would love more space as the kids turn teens - mainly to keep them in the house with space etc that would mean increase mortgage; alternatively continue as is & payoff mortgage early.

Any thoughts ? Given that it's highly notional & taking my mind off things !!

In your shoes, I upped the mortgage and did the big extension and then threw everything at getting the whole lot paid off when eldest did her GCSEs
We'd love to move and will be rattling around this house once they both leave, but hey ho.

So do you think it was worth it Tip ? All things being equal it could take another 5 years to pay off. I suppose that's not too bad - this is 2 years away of course 😀

And if you don't mind asking what sort of shape did your extension take ? I'd love an extra couple of rooms (first world problems I know). I could move an au pair into an extra bedroom.

Yes, yes , yes
I designed my kitchen dining from from the foundations up.
I love to come back from holidays and cook meals in it.
It was planned as a party space - coped with 60 of DDs drunk friends for her 18th.
I love my free solar hot water.
I love the way I chose where the windows were to fit the views

I'd love to move, but I'm rather attached to what I created here.

Oh sounds fab 😀 I have had a vision in my mind for ages which i explain to people who think I'm nuts as the house falls down around them 🙄 I think I will aim for it tho. it's just hard to know what to do with limited finances to get maximum value !

Plodding along still. Ran into a stalemate with electricity company, came home and found a prepayment meter had been fitted. I'm quite cross because I was wrongly told we were using £30 electricity A DAY and they've put on the letter £32 a week plus £8 for the arrears. Which they state is over £2000. Now I'm pretty sure it shouldn't be that much as we were laying it by dd until Feb when they wanted to put it up but we couldn't afford it so I was advised to pay the same amount as previous by SO. They are getting the call transcript if it still exists to see what was said. I pointed out aside from a visit from someone who didn't particularly want to know I was paying by SO, I've had nothing else to say there is a problem. And it's not the first time so they've reopened my previous complaint. This means if I'm not happy with the resolution I can take it to the ombudsman. I'm hoping the call transcript comes up trumps first.

Dh is caning the overtime, which is great. But I'm not seeing any of it for purposes which it's needed for. Instead he's talking of getting a Fitbit when my replacement (free under warranty) comes and returning the damaged one to the store it was bought from, talking of clearing his overdraft (fine) and then putting the overtime towards various other things he wants, like a new tv (not actually needed). Meanwhile I'm pinching pennies trying to get things paid off.

We have listed his old phone on eBay which should net around £300 going by similar ones. I'm still in dispute over one I sold as they're claiming it doesn't work, even though it was sold for spares and repair!!! Yes they paid over the odds for it. But that's not my fault they didn't read the listing properly.

Have been given a break by inlaws. They've given us the money to have a holiday with. Part of me wants to use it towards bills but it was a gift given with good intentions and they would be offended if we didn't go away. Dh and I have agreed to a couple of nights camping and a couple of days out for the dc. Any left over money will go on the bills.

I've started saving every spare penny in one of those money cans. I had a small tub with a load of change in which netted me
£10.94, I thought there was going to be about £5 so that was a pleasant surprise. Thankfully our bank now has a change sorter so I neither have to count it out nor risk the ones in supermarkets, which I'm told take a cut for sorting it. It means I get the full amount. The children enjoy putting all the spare pennies they find in them so it's good practise.

It doesn't sound as though DH really appreciates the situation?

Nope. I think you're right. He has this idea of who he wants to be, but he can't achieve it without splashing the cash. I get that as the current sole earner, he wants to feel rewarded for all the hours of work he does. But he isn't seeing that me being at home to look after the kids and not have the worry of what to do in the school holidays is facilitating that right now. Every now and then he throws in about him becoming a sahd and me earning what he does, and if I could walk into a job with FA experience (he's been doing his job 20 years) and earn that then hell yes he could taste a piece of that pie.

I'm due to start childminding but not until October. There are things which need to be put into place first.

Is he feeling at all that he's been given some sort of hall pass because it's his parents that have helped out? (Well done them by the way.) What, if anything, are they saying to him?

Does FA stand for financial advisor?.

I think so fluffy
Or IFA
I'm lucky in that dh and I are totally on the same page re debts even though he is the main earner
We rarely buy stuff for ourselves - all money goes on the kids and house
Quite a few unexpected spends lately - as there are in the summer hols

Unexpected but yet not totally unpredictable? It's not the end of the world as long as you're keeping on going and can manage them. Even if it's only 'just'.

Well I washed and shrank the door curtain
So we need a new one for winter but it's an odd length so struggling to find one
Then I needed to order my latex free San pro (I'm allergic) and i order 4 months at a time due to delivery charges
Then I had my hair cut and I am so grey I looked like a badger
So emergency hair colour appt
Grr

I broke a £1200 autoclave yesterday and Dh had to fix it or we wouldn't be able to get the kitchen floor tiled.

What was the door curtain made from? Luckily you've got time until the winter sets in.

eBay for the door curtain - and go for 'vintage'. (If it's for drafts, a heavy velvet one should work and it will do no harm to get one that's slightly too long.) Even look for pairs and use only one.

As for the rest - pity, but they haven't broken you have they?

Fluffy - what's an autoclave?
I've found one on eBay - a proper door curtain rather than a sewn together pair like the shrunken one
It's ok - I'm just going to be overdrawn by pay day and I didn't want to be
I have bought a home hair dye in prep for next hair cut!
I have very short hair so it looks awful with a grey badger stripe across the back
My San pro should also last til after Xmas

It sterilises my instruments for work.

New to the thread, just wondering if anyone can help. Got myself in a mess with credit cards - can't even say why really, so ashamed of myself. Owe about 10 grand in total. At the point where I can't get anymore credit to go on to 0% and the bank won't help either. Struggling to make minimum payments and terrified of each bill. I have a loan that is 200 a month due to finish in April next year and then my plan was to put this money towards credit card debt.

I need to keep my head above water until then, just wondering whether it would be worth contacting the credit card company and asking to not pay interest or have a payment plan for 6 months to keep my head above water? I can't do the standing order trick because I can barely afford each payment and then end up using the card.

Please help. I'm so ashamed of myself.

Also, I can't discuss this with my husband. He'd go up the wall as I don't have any household bills to pay so there's no reason for me to be in this mess.

I'm so frustrated, if it wasn't for the debt is have about £700 disposable income a month. As it stands I have none.

We'd like another baby but obviously can't whilst I'm in this mess but I hate that debt is dictating how my life will pan out. I'm so down and don't know where to turn.