Drowning in debt and cannot talk to people in Real Life? A problem shared is a problem brought into perspective - come and join the lens.

[Ta1kinPeace]

This thread is loosely linked to several previous ones on the same topic.

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
Everybody is welcome to share problems, ideas, solutions, but not be judgemental please

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help explain how
SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

£150 a week is a cheap weekly shop and even then we top up at local shops- pop in to buy milk and end up spending £20. Husband works from home and does online shop.to be fair i need to help more and we must must must plan better. We waste food down to bad planning. To many take away 'treats' too. I am determined to take this in hand then at least that's something

It's not just your responsibility, you know. What is his view of the situation?

Aww he has been really good. He scrimped and saved so we could get the deposit for the house but now everything seems to be spiralling again. He is more focused on the big payments. But I'm trying to say that pennies become pounds etc. And actually the food is one area where we could really save. Next on my hit list is sky etc

I just gave up Sky. Saving a small fortune as well.

So you're probably spending around £200 a week on food etc items?

I reckon you need to really start tracking your expenditure. You seem a little uncertain of where all the money is going?

Yep, stupid isn't it? We are only a family of four and my children are young- they don't eat that much!! I've spent tonight reading this thread and the old one and feel determined. I'm sick of sleepless nights and that horrible feeling of panic.

PS - Very well done for starting to talk about things. That's such a big step.

I have downloaded spreadsheets from here too. Going to be scary to fill in!

Thank you. Will be following this thread. It is strangely comforting- not that I wish anyone to be in debt but sometimes you feel like you are the only one

The sleepless nights and the panic will likely be mainly down to not knowing where exactly you are and having just a feeling that things have 'got out of control'. Knowing your real situation and discussing it with your DH will make you feel so much better.

I think you are right. Thank for listening to my ramblings!

Lots of people on and reading this thread who've been in difficult situations. Or still are!

You're definitely not alone.

Hello, I'm posting here (have name changed) cause I am just so stressed about money I want to scream. My DH and I have our own business and we are trying so hard to grow it- and it is happening slowly- but we have used a lot of our own money to fund it, and lived off credite cards some times. It is so stressful, the last year has been horrible, every time we get paid by clients the money groes right out the door on something that's overdue, it's so hard to just try to stay afloat and get ahead a bit. Last night I hardly slept worrying about it all, there are phases like this when I just don't know when we will be next paid. I am getting by on a tiny shoe string. It's hard cause although DH and I talk about it a lot, he has the whole macho "should be providing" thing going on and gets very down, so its kinds of easier to try and juggle it all myself. Also trying to keep up appearances I guess, we don't want people to know things are not going well. Thank you for listening, it feels a bit better to type it all out!

Are you managing to pay the critical bills? Ie property and utilities etc?

Yes, just, they are my priority, utilities and mortgage and our office cause without it we can't run the business. though I just had to change the payment date of the mortgage from this week to the end of the month to buy us time, praying we get paid by a client before then.

It can be incredibly difficult starting a small business, I know. Even where clients have the funds to pay easily, they can sometimes be affected by 'It'll do' ness - eg 'Oh, it'll do tomorrow/next week' etc - they just don't click that a speedy payment may make the difference for the firm in question. (And you don't always like to nag in case that 'alienates' the client or eg gives the impression that you're not a robust enough firm to weather any delay. )

Do you have any small business organisations locally that you're a member of?

Ooh £60 down, £5940 to go lol! The debt I have is mainly for credit card and also overdraft so the banks are not asking for any money yet as they're happy to keep me paying monthly interest......but I want to be debt free at some point and also to have some money for savings - once the economy starts recovering again.

Well done, Apple. How did you manage to find the £60?

My DH got a modest raise so we've had a bit of extra left after all the bills so I put it towards paying off the debt. hoping i can keep doing that on a monthly basis

Well done Apple, it feels good to chip away at it doesnt it.

Cozie yeah we do have business support, we're just finding it takes time to build relationships.

We couldn't afford childcare this summer so I'm looking after the kids and working from home. When they go back to school I'm going to see if I can get work to generate more income.

Meantime I'm just keeping a keen eye on the bank statement and trying to juggle everything. Also learnt my lesson and keep phoning everyone to tell them I will be paying late etc. I am so tired from the stress, it's really starting to get me down.

Yes - it's very wearing.

Come on here and vent when you need/want to. People won't always be able to help but if not, it's still good sometimes to be able to drop that 'cheerful smile'.

I thought you had 'rent', April. Are there two properties involved?

Oh - and how old (roughly) is DD?