Drowning in debt and cannot talk to people in Real Life? A problem shared is a problem brought into perspective - come and join the lens.

[Ta1kinPeace]

This thread is loosely linked to several previous ones on the same topic.

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
Everybody is welcome to share problems, ideas, solutions, but not be judgemental please

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help explain how
SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

Just did really quick look up on skyscanner flights dub-Murcia next July €156 approx, London (any airport) -Murcia €313

Where are you going Badders & from where ?

Welcome Apple - have to spoken to the companies you owe money to I order to reduce your payments ?

In order

I'm in uk tobe
My aunt lives in Ireland

Yes I got that much 🙂 I meant where to where exactly I might know the cheapest way !

Midlands to Dublin

Then it's car hire
And B and B for 2 nights...

Could you drive ? Holyhead - Dublin

Nooooo
No boats!!!

Ultimately, it's your call, Tobe. I'd advise some hard thinking though. It's not unheard of to 'anticipate' success in the final furlong - you're so darned tired and fed up and you can think to yourself 'We deserve this loosening of belts' - but you say it just a bit too early and can't go back so easily to the hard grind of economising. And it is pretty tough, I'm afraid. As you're well aware.

If you really feel you all need it, and you're confident that you can continue with the stringency afterwards................ If not, I'd be thinking about asking the DCs for their thoughts on planning a real stay at home holiday and seeing what they might come up with.

That's just me though. I'm not as big on continued resolve, being better - as I've mentioned - at battening down the hatches until all is OK again.

Thanks cozie 💃🏻🌞

Do you hate boats Badders ?! 🌊
Cheaper ! Although we had a crossing to France many moons ago when I literally woke up 1metre up the air off my bed it was that tough !! Was young tho so wasn't worried 🙂

Rough I meant 🙂

Best boat crossing I ever had was one where there were so few women on board that we all managed to baggsie an individual toilet cubicle and could just stay there for the whole voyage if we wanted.

Can you tell I get badly seasick?

Oh god that's bad ... 😱 They say it's better if you're looking at the sea etc like looking out the window of a car

Hello all.

Still really struggling. I usually manage to meet all the minimum payments every month but that's it. I can't pay more as I have to live off the rest (single parent etc).

This month car broke down and cost £300. Which left me struggling by middle rather than end of the month. So over overdraft and missed a cc payment. Bank actually texted me to discuss. So embarrassing. But got them to waive a £50 fee.

I just need to be able to live on nearly nothing for a good year or so to get my head above water. But how with children? There always an extra, every month. Sigh

It's not easy, right enough - but forget any issue of 'embarrassment'. If anything, the texting shows, I reckon, that they value you. I've seen DDs simply and cursorily rejected. Now that is cold.

How old, roughly, is/are the DC(s)?

Reader...try contacting cap. They are very good and can help not just with advice but actual food/fuel/uniform vouchers etc

Reader - that's awful & I know - all budgeting sites etc have tips for ppl as if it's just them ie stop buying coffee etc it's very hard. but you have managed until now so maybe look up Dave Ramsey - he has a babysteps approach - starts with saving money for emergencies then paying off debts etc.

Thanks everyone. Honestly so grateful for no judgement. I'll be paid tomorrow so can deal with the immediate stuff hopefully. Then back on the uphill frugal treadmill.

17 and 12. They don't know I'm a crap mum who isn't providing them with financial security.

I took the CCs of my purse today and stored them away. Even though they're almost maxed, I don't want to be tempted by an emergency etc. Such as food. It actually felt quite liberating.

Reader
You are NOT a crap mum!!!!
We all make mistakes - God knows I have - but you will find no judgement on here
Lots of people advocate cutting up cc if they are maxed out - is that something you would do?
At 17 and 12 they can understand more than younger ones - you never know they may even surprise you
First step...
Phone cap

Slightly off topic - got Hedrin 🙄 DD pointed out this was the 11th time to do the wash & comb thing. Fingers crossed final time (will repeat in a few days). €19.99 for 1 bottle but steep - says does 10 heads but 70% gone on all of us.

Good news - sold a few more things on ebay & local site. Made about €70 now 😃Amazing what ppl will pay for !!

Hi all, what a reassuring thread, I've been looking for something like this. I'm anxious and embarrassed by our debt and have one to talk to in RL.
I owe about 12k on credit cards. My husband is about the same. There is s car loan. Thankfully we both earn good money and are trying to pay over the minimum payments but we have recently moved house and it seems like the past three months have just been one demand for payment over another. We literally have no spare money at the end of the month. I'm
Dreading winter when gas/electric will go up.
We overspend on food, our two children etc and need to reign it in. I panic all the time over what will arrive in the post. When have been so stupid in the past, I'm So angry at myself!
I am determined to start budgeting better, especially with food as we fritter so much money on random shopping.

Just getting it off my chest feels good!

How much do you reckon you spend on food each month ? (Including lunches, coffees etc etc.) And how do the family pay for it?

PS - have you discussed the situation with your DH?