Drowning in debt and cannot talk to people in Real Life? A problem shared is a problem brought into perspective - come and join the lens.

[Ta1kinPeace]

This thread is loosely linked to several previous ones on the same topic.

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
Everybody is welcome to share problems, ideas, solutions, but not be judgemental please

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help explain how
SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

Does anyone else bank with the Bank of Scotland? This sounds very bad, but at the end of the month I usually wind up about £100 over my agreed overdraft limit because my card still works in supermarkets and the bank still honours direct debits. Anyway, last month we were £300 over the overdraft, DH's work messed up his pay and docked £200, and the nursery informed us that the funding doesn't come in the summer and charged us £250 more than usual - that will be the same in August. So we started this month £750 down.

But, the bank is no longer allowing us to use our card when we go over the limit. We were over by £50 and then CB came so we got back into the agreed OD. Now Netflix isn't working and it says I need to update the payment info - I think the DD has bounced, although it's weird that it happened on a Saturday.

Has anyone else noticed HBOS suddenly doing this?

April write out the pros and cons of a debt mgmt plan - how long will the debts take you to pay off otherwise ? Might be good to get on the straight and narrow. But if you've never defaulted on debts maybe keep ploughing on & maintain good credit record. See if you can squeeze your budget other ways - Dave Ramsey fans would suggest trying to get extra income (yeah I know) in any way ie evening jobs, cleaning, pizza delivery, giving grinds. Selling things - this is short term gain but it is to build up that 1k cushion for emergencies so that you're not completely up shit creek when sthing goes wrong & youve no credit or other options. (I so far have €3.14 saved towards this 😂). Consider selling stuff on ebay or even car boot sale etc.

I know that some main banks are real tough when it comes to DDs being presented when you're over the agreed overdraft limit. TooExtra. It may be a fairly recent stance.

Is your bank open by phone, today, to check? (I've had dealings with Netflix CS in the recent past and found their limited service to be........questionable.) I doubt that it matters that it's a Saturday, these days, when it comes to DDs - apart from contacting the bank.

Do you have any other DDs which might be due to come out shortly? (eg mobile phones.)

Hi,

I m so down about our debt and my husband hates to eat talk about it and I m ashamed to talk to anyone else in real life. We ve just managed to pay off so large loans which is good but unfortunately we re still left with around £60 000 of credit card debt. We re sticking to a budget now but the problem is we need a bigger house urgently. We have three children and a three bedroom terrace house which is small. The children are 8, 3 and 2, and the rooms are too small to share. I m pretty sure the bank won't consider us for a bigger mortgage and we have no savings for a deposit anyway. No equity in our current house either, we can free up £400 per month if we try to save but it will take years to lay off our debt and we don't have years. So, we ve thought of selling up and renting but everyone I mentioned it too pulls their face and talks about dead money, also if we do rent we ll never be able to save up for a deposit to buy because the rental for a larger house will be a lot more than our current mortgage so we ll be renting until we re dead which does scare me a bit, we have no pension either. I m so depressed, it all seems so hopeless I ve been in debt for over 17 years and I don't know how we ll ever pay it off. I m tired of worrying , my husband acts like everything will just work itself out but our son starts school next year, he does nt have a bedroom and will never be able to have friends over to play. The situation is awful and I don't know what to do, I m trying to keep going but I m so ashamed that I can't give my kids the same things their friends have, it's so embarrassing when my daughter (8) brings her friends home and they see our tiny house. I m dreading the day when she s ashamed of us too, I m worried that one day she ll look back on her childhood and just think of all the things she never had.

Sorry if I ve rambled on but I ve no idea how to sort this mess out and I ve no one to talk to, I m so lonely,

Sorry about the typing errors, should have read it through before I posted it.

Should have said we re self employed with a limited company and we re also struggling to keep up to date with tax bills etc

I would consider renting & selling your house, paying off all your debts & starting afresh & save towards your own house eventually. Renting isn't dead money it's paying for living space.

5 years ago dh and I pretty much started from scratch again
We needed to move area for my children's schools and we hated where we lived despite gutting the house and making it lovely 😞
We sold (and bought) in the housing slump of 2011 so we didn't get as much for our house as we wanted BUT we also got this house for £15k off asking price.
We rented for 6 month a prior to buying this house.
It's meant that we had to go back to a 25 year mortgage but at some point we hope to overpay and cut the term down.
Sadly it's needed quite a lot of work (the boiler broke the week after we moved in IN DECEMBER), the roof and the kitchen which is where our debt has come from 😞
My point is it can be done. And if you buy again a few years down the line hopefully won't buy a money pit like we did!!!
It's looking like the BofE will reduce the base rate even further to .5% so as long as you have some money for a deposit mortgages are likely to be very cheap for a few more years.
Good luck

I think that's a good point, Badders. It can be done.

People can feel so very alone when they have debt and don't always realise that others have similar problems.

The bastard nits are back 🙄💆🏻💆🏻💆🏻

Look on the bright side. It could be Midweek that you discovered them.

One word...
HEDRIN

Right - third time lucky !! 😶 (Third product that is💆🏻)

Well it's not for everyone cozie and tbh I have huge regrets about buying our first house where we did (although there seemed compelling reasons at the time)
But it can be done
It's scary but it can be the answer

I doubt there's one person reading this thread that hasn't made a financial mistake somewhere along the line, Badders. Big or small, in good faith or otherwise etc etc. I know I have.

Ugh
You are right of course but....
If we had bought here as newlyweds we would have been set for life
Ah well

There's no gainsaying that such choices can be galling, especially in the wee small hours. There are so many choices in life, though - big and small. You just do the best you can.

Never regret financial decisions in the past - you made the best decision according to all of the information available to you at the time and the financial planning skills you had too. If you've changed so will your financial outlook !

Yes indeed.

This thread makes such sad reading and brings no comfort to know that I am not alone :(

Well I've reached crunch time and I would say I don't know what to do, but having spoken to StepChange, there isn't anything I can do. Got to the point this month where I won't be able to afford the petrol to get me to work even. Looks like I am going to lose my home.

I just wish I could get rid of this awful feeling inside and get some sleep.

Do you have other people for whom you are responsible? (DCs for example?)

Contact cap
The can provide food parcels and fuel vouchers.
Phone today

No. I don't, only two cats. The trouble is, I suppose, is that I earn enough to not qualify for benefits. I cut back so much these past months and my hours increased at work I was convinced I'd turned the corner but I haven't. Now all my savings have gone.

I've looked for jobs closer to home but where I live jobs are few and far between and employers aren't keen on people in their 60's. I'm feeling so sorry for myself right now. It just seems ridiculous when you work hard and still can't earn enough to live on. What future is there in that?

Thank you for listening though. I just needed a moan.

I am working today but will contact CAP in my lunch break, or Monday if they're closed today.

When you return from work, come back here and tell us some more about the situation - lots of heads and experience to call on can help a great deal. (And don't worry in the least about having a moan. )