Drowning in debt and cannot talk to people in Real Life? A problem shared is a problem brought into perspective - come and join the lens.

[Ta1kinPeace]

This thread is loosely linked to several previous ones on the same topic.

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
Everybody is welcome to share problems, ideas, solutions, but not be judgemental please

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help explain how
SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

The only advice I can offer is try and make sure you save for school expenses this time next year. Muster through this year & put it in next year's budget.

Sigh - wish I could take my own advice but I'll really try. It's getting easier !! This year we'll have the usual annual tax bill due in Nov as we rent out a property (one of my worse ideas !) & usually I have to starve to pay it but this year I can nearly do it without starving. And next year I'll be paying it all over the year in Advance ! So no Wobblies touch wood 😀

It does get easier doesn't it? There's no gainsaying that it's depressing and dispiriting at times but you just have to keep thinking of where you'd be if you weren't trying.

I've asked what commission the school are getting. Not had an answer yet. At least if they authorised the badge to be done via Tesco, I'd get my points and the school would get their % back. Although I still prefer Sainsbury's uniform. Ds2 will be wearing Sainsbury's trousers that his brother and a friend's 2 boys have all worn. Apart from some slight wear on the bottoms and needing new button elastic, they are in very good condition.

Anyway, 2 phones now listed on eBay. Already had a couple of request to buy it now for 1.

I've listed all the monthly income and outgoing bills. Haven't done the likes of food yet as I think I might woefully have underestimated in the past.

I have also cancelled a couple of debit card payments for postcode lottery and weight watchers.

Dh I think is starting to realise the full impact of what has happened. He's less ok than he was yesterday but has said there's no point shouting or arguing about it as it won't change what has happened.

Are you talking things through still? That's really important.

By the way, a PP mentioned the Frugaleers threads on the Credit Crunch board. (Also part of the Money topic.) They're well worth reading/posting on.

Oops - sorry. It was on your other thread.

Yes. Still talking. I'll admit to finding it hard though, because I've let everyone down. But I am still glad it's out there now.

No. It wasn't you who 'let everyone down'. Now is likely not a good time to talk about that though. You'll just be plain shattered at the moment with all that's been going on and the buildup of stress over the situation in recent months.

Have some rest if you can at the moment. More clarity will hopefully come soon enough.

It really does get easier 😬Writing it all down is the first step but st least it's all there. I often think it's like when you go over your points in WW - so long as it's measurable it's dealable. (Tho obv 10s of ks of debt not the same as going over WW points) 🙄😬

And I can't even stick to WW 🙄

Ds1 needs the "new" "compulsory" pe shirts (and as he wants to do pe as a GCSE I am capitulating) so that's £40 on 2 tops
Oh and did I mention ds1s college uniform all has to be logo'd? no cheap plain jumpers or polo shirts!
Ds2 needs new trousers, sweaters etc but had a next voucher so not too bad
But then it's 2 pairs trainers each and school shoes each
Got ds2 his lunchbox and water bottle so really it's just the shoes now but that'll be £200
Must draw my money out for my hols today...

Ouch!

But then, imagine if you'd been faced with this a few years back.......

I think I've found a way of giving the school their money without actually handing over any money. If they recycle my ink cartridges for the printer they get between £2-3 for them. If I do it, I get a max of £1.13 Tesco points back. So as I've a load I've not yet dropped in, I shall offer to the school that they have them. And since it's the pta funding the trip and who collect the cartridges, win win.

I'm just feeling ugh about it all
Weve needed to do some necessary decorating over the past couple of months which has cost ££££
At least at the end of it we will have a usable conservatory after 5 years of living here :) and they boys rooms will be simply decorated and by the use of wall decals for decoration so easy and cheap to change in the future! :)
Holiday next week so that'll be spendy but that's it til next summer
Then just saving up for Xmas! 🙄

It can be very dispiriting right enough. You're in a better place now though?

We will be by end of year.
Dhs wage increase has finally gone through.
My wages are now correct after months of being messed around by hmrc
I may even look for more hours - this job is very much a stop gap to get a reference in my cv again

You've done the conservatory and will soon have decorated the DC's rooms? I think you're doing well already.

I'm thrilled with ds2s room
Whole new room for £150
As you can see it's a Minecraft theme!!

Ds1 is having a star wars theme room

And when we want another theme the wall decals just peel off!!!!

There you go.

I bet they're thrilled as well?

Yes
It was very badly painted cream emulsion put on by previous owners all over before we decorated
Ds1 has a new light shade like a death star I totally want one too
I've drawn out £30 for my hols...that should buy a few ice creams

Badders THat room is FAB - if my 15 year old were not now consumed by Pokemon go, he's want it.

Completely
You have to practice saying No.
Look at ALL of your bank statements and cancel everything that you do not NEED.
When you get a replacement phone have it on PAYG so that you are not tempted to use it more than needed.
And once you get the hang of saying "No" to things, you can ignore stuff like WW and SW as you'll not need them
for anybody who gets offered food at work, ask yourself how often your colleagues wash their hands before they touch the plate

Do not worry too much about "saving" at the moment - get debt paid down.
If you have a credit card with £1000 of headroom then that is your emergency stash to be replenished ASAP
but in the mean time you are saving interest.

Hello TIP!
I keep reading about Pokemon go thanks god DC hand t discovered it yet
Interesting on savings...we have £500 atm - us that enough do you think?
Our cc us 0% so not paying any interest
Hmmmm

Forgot yo show you the lamp and light shade