How much (if any) financial help do you get from your parents?

[Signoritawhocansway]

Just wondering whether I have unrealistic views on this subject.

My parents are both pensioners, and we are just reviewing their finances because my lovely Dad needs to go into full time care. It's shown up that they have a significantly higher income than us, and has made me wonder what they do with it all. Especially as we are living hand to mouth.

Please don't flame me. I DON'T want anything from them, and wouldn't dream of asking. They have been generous in the past, and I don't begrudge them their luxuries. But it HAS made me wonder how much regular/sporadic help other families get from their parents (or even grandparents). Like money to help kids with swimming/music lessons, petrol money for when you go to visit etc.

My parents wouldn't give me £5 if they were lottery millionaires (nor would I take it tbh). The only conversation I have had with them about cash was about 6 years ago when he knocked on the door (drunk) and asked to borrow £20.

My Grandparents (who brought me up) and PIL contributed massively to our wedding. It wasn't that expensive, but they paid the most of it.

Taking on me and my siblings meant GP's finances were completely wrecked so there was no big house deposits or the likes. I'm the youngest sibling so I benefited a bit from them having more money when the elder 3 left home. They paid for my driving lessons which was a massive help. When I had my twin girls they bought their pram. Since they passed away my eldest brother has gone a bit paternal with me (he's 10 years older than me) and has done a couple of randomly helpful things like putting my card through it's MOT when DH was out of work for a while.

PIL have always been generous. They inherited MIL's parents house and had lived with MIL's mother for their whole married life so they feel they have massively benefited from never having to pay rent or a mortgage and want to pass some of that 'luck' on.

MIL takes, and pays for, the twins to go horse riding with her once a fortnight. She started that when we moved in with DH and Ds(s) as her way of getting to know/spending time with my girls. Ds used to go with them, but doesn't anymore as horse riding is not 'cool'. DS2 (7) is invited with them, but doesn't like horses so doesn't - I think its more to do with the fact that FIL takes him swimming while the girls are riding and in the world of DS2 FIL is just the best thing since sliced bread because he fixed his bike

Childcare wise they don't do anything regularly for work purposes as I'm a SAHM, but they take DD's and DS2 every other Saturday night. They'll take DD3 once she's big enough to join in the Sunday actitivity as well. Again DS1 is invited, but doesn't go often as it's not cool.

They babysit happily if we have somewhere to go and MIL stayed a few times while DH was working away and DS3 was tiny so that she could deal with the bigger ones in the morning. I'm very lucky with them.

*putting my CAR through it's MOT!

No help at all. DH's side have no money and I am estranged from abusive parents. I feel more sad about the lack of practical help really as I wish I had that kind of relationship with my parents.

PILs nothing, although they do pay the once or twice a year that we go out for a meal with them. They are still being heavily subbed by MILs mother to the tune of several thousand a year.

My parents gave me a big deposit for my first house, paid for our wedding, plus gave us a very generous cash wedding gift. They have money set aside to fund our DSs through university which is a huge weight off our shoulders.
I was funded through university, and they helped me out with car servicing and repairs when I was first working on a very very low salary.
The help I am most grateful for though is that when I could see my career going nowhere where I was living, I moved back home with them for 18 months in my mid-twenties so that I could take a better paid job and start saving up to buy a house. They didn't charge me any rent, I used to take them out for a meal a couple of times a month. 3 weeks into that new job my car broke quite spectacularly, and needed nearly £1k of work done. Dad paid for it, and I paid him back as soon as I got paid. It wiped out my whole paycheck and he tried to say 'oh just let me help this last time' but I wouldn't let him. Apart from gifts and our wedding (which is totally the done thing in our circle too, parents pay and host), they have never paid for anything for me since.

They are very generous with Christmas and birthday presents, and very generous with their time these days. They are now retired and adore being grandparents so we see them regularly and if I desperately need them to help out with the kids (and they aren't on holiday somewhere!) then they will drop everything and come up.
We also have free use of their second home abroad whenever we want it.

We are planning to move house in a couple of years, and they are talking about giving us another big lump sum to put towards that because otherwise it will just need IHT paying on it one day.

I know I'm very lucky, and just hope that them being so generous means that DH and I are in the position to do as much for our DSs when the time comes.

my parents pay for meals out (we buy drinks), spend about fifty quid each on pressies, pay for things for the house about once a year/two years (eg new doors). its nice. i am still a bit of a kid - i like being bought things by them occasionally

they earn more on their pension than we do in our jobs. that always makes me . i kind of dont understand how they spend it! probably they dont, actually, its probably all in isas/investments. i wish they found it easier to spend tbh. probably i will inherit at least some of it but i'd rather see it spent (ideally on my kids - that bit is a joke )