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Original poster

Debt mutual support thread number 6 ....... start the new year with a clear purpose and keep moving forwards even by tiny steps

999 replies

TalkinPeace · 13/12/2014 13:53

This thread follows on from the last five threads in the series, the most recent of which is here.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2193736-Debt-mutual-support-thread-number-5-the-light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel-is-NOT-an-oncoming-train?

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
The posters on threads, new and experienced, are here to help people get to where they want to be.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

  • yesterday is as past as the Crimean War
( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )
  • this is an anonymous forum
( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )
  • this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt
( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

OP posts:
andsmile · 01/02/2015 22:37

TIP Grin suppose

JontyDoggle37 · 02/02/2015 08:34

Recalculated food budget after taking out unexpected vet Bill and it leaves me with £32 a week for this month. Scary, but I've just sat and doe. Next Friday's shopping list with the meal plan for next week, to prove to myself it's possible, and I ca a mange next week's shopping for £29.62! Half of this is believing I can actually do it. Had a very stressed day yesterday worrying about money but talked it over with DH and have a couple of ideas for reducing horse costs ASAP (I pay someone to muck out five days a week and lots of extra charges get added on, so I'm putting my foot down on those, DH says he'll help a bit more with them if needed). Onwards and upwards!

andsmile · 02/02/2015 09:42

Jonty my meal plan is reasonably cheap but if I wanted to make it cheaper I could but I feel I would be sacrificing some food groups or cooking from scratch.

If I really was on 'bones of arse' I would include the following:

Tesco Value - Fish fingers 60p and chips 82p Broccoli (1x head) 49p carrots 53p

Omlettes 125p and chips - with other half of veg from above

Cheap sausages 66p (ok so I know they low on meat but they still taste ok inside a casserole or with sauce!) goulash/chillie/casserole - see meal plan on previous page.

Veggy pasta bake 27p packet of pasta, any veg about, £1's worth of cheese.

Tesco value tinned fruit with value yoghurt on for snacks/puddings

I've still tried to include veg. If I'm struggling I will slot one or two of these cheaper meals in to plan.

Fairylea · 02/02/2015 12:43

I'm going to come back and post properly late but I just wanted to say that thanks to some of the meal plans and ideas here I've just come back from a food shop for the week having spent £48!!!! And that included nappies, washing powder and dishwasher stuff. I am utterly in shock right now.... Thank you so much everyone.

JontyDoggle37 · 02/02/2015 12:55

andsmile thanks for the ideas, some will definitely come in useful the next few weeks.
Fairy that's great, well done!!!!!

andsmile · 02/02/2015 12:59

Oh thats great news fairy - you see those saving can really take the edge off. I've found it has enabled me to afford the odd coffee/lunch/cheap cinema tickets!

jonty Wink

CoupdeFoudre · 02/02/2015 13:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hooker29 · 02/02/2015 14:09

well DH didn't get the job......why am I not surprised????? Nothing is going our way at the moment! DH has his first appointment with the Rheumatology clinic today-will see what the doctor says then it may be worth DH ringing back about the PIP.Found out this morning that SIL now gets PIP-God knows what for;-she's in better health than DH is!

CoupdeFoudre · 02/02/2015 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Baddz · 02/02/2015 15:45

Sorry hooker x
I havent had a phone call either :(
Ah well.
So I need another plan! :)

andsmile · 02/02/2015 16:07

baddz and hooker - next time maybe Thanks

Lyinginwait888 · 02/02/2015 20:02

Well who wants in on a secret?

I'm going to quit my job. I've had enough. I'm top of band 7 in nhs and prorata (3 days a week) bring home 24k. Since returning to work after the mc I just feel a complete rot has set in. I don't do the job I set out to do.

dh is supportive. I have a few ideas and will be applying for other jobs (will consider locum/bank work) but fuck it I feel like a big weight has lifted typing that.

I have been absolutely held to ransdsom by my bloody pension and my 'family friendly' hours. EUgh. Enough!

Original poster
TalkinPeace · 02/02/2015 20:15

Lyinginwait
There are times when taking a new broom to things you hung onto for ages is a very good move.

Hooker and Baddz
THe jobs market is really shitty at the moment but sadly it comes down to trying and finding niches and trying and finding more niches
and looking at CVs for unusual skills and then crossing fingers and toes.

OP posts:
Fairylea · 02/02/2015 20:23

So sorry Baddz and Hooker Flowers have lots of CakeCakeCake

I'm sure something will come up soon. It's so tough at the moment. Brew

Lying sounds like you've really thought about your decision. Sometimes the best thing to do isn't always the most obvious. About 3 years ago I turned down a massive pay rise to move to a different company than the one I was with at the time and everyone thought I was mad turning it down. I just knew it wasn't for me. I couldn't see myself being happy there. Life satisfaction is more important.

Hmm well I was feeling really chuffed with myself and my cheap shop earlier and now I am looking at the money I have to last me the week and I'm a bit Shock as I don't normally spend the bulk of my money at the start of the week like that. It feels a bit scary.

If only I could go to sleep and wake up next pay day without having spent anything! Grin

Lyinginwait888 · 02/02/2015 20:39

Thanks all. I'm suddenly feeling very 'awake'. Looking at locum jobs etc. what an adventure.

So here's the plan.

Selling car to get smaller one. Should produce 5/6k. Put that to oneside. Continue making minimum payments (all 0%)

Well have £700 pcm to live on if I don't immediately get a job. I live in a very affluent area so will roll up my sleeves and walk dogs etc if needed.

See what the world has for me!

Lyinginwait888 · 02/02/2015 20:40

Sorry £700pcm is after all debt repayments and bills are paid.

That'll cover food etc.

andsmile · 02/02/2015 20:42

lyinginwait888

I left teachning 5 years ago. I hated it. Money does enable us to survive in our economic system but so does our health and happiness. Good for you for having the balls to do it...I met an old teacher friend last week, she is in a bad way, gone right down hill with stress and has some serious health concerns going on.

Read the minimal blogs 'theminimalists' or 'becommingminimal' they have strong views about putting happiness before the pursuit of wealth and material gain. It doesnt stop me wanting nice things but it tempers me, makes me think more carefully about what our values are.

andsmile · 02/02/2015 20:43

£700 is doable in short term if its just food and coffees. You will feel so free.

Lyinginwait888 · 02/02/2015 20:43

Lovely post. Thank you andsmile

I've just texted my mum. She took early retirement due to similar issues. She'll understand.

Lyinginwait888 · 02/02/2015 20:45

Having the 5k stashed away will hopefully mean there's no panic!

Baddz · 02/02/2015 21:26

Sounds like a plan 888 :)
I guess that's what worrying me too...a knee jerk reaction to needing extra money and making life much more stressful in the long run...
Maybe I need to look for some weekend work...then even if Dh wasn't here the dc could stay at pils...

KinkyDorito · 03/02/2015 06:06

I met an old teacher friend last week, she is in a bad way, gone right down hill with stress and has some serious health concerns going on. sounds like me Sad. I love what I do but hate it in equal measure.

KinkyDorito · 03/02/2015 06:08

Lying you have absolutely done the right thing. If you live in a good area, start a pet sitting business where you go in and feed the cat/gerbil/hamster when they're away too (as well as dog walking). It's £10 for a 30 minute visit here.

KinkyDorito · 03/02/2015 06:09

Babysitting too. I've considered doing that around here for some extra £££.

Snowie2 · 03/02/2015 12:47

Hi there - apologies for bursting in & happy new year to everyone Smile (belated). I have not been here since Xmas mainly as we have been so so so busy with work & various minor illnesses ! Vomiting bugs etc. Grin
As usual I'm coming to you lovely ladies for some advice & support !
Long story short - trying to dig my way out of debt piled up while the kids are babies (and before). I now have it down to 2 main debts which are in "recovery" and ruining our credit score. I'm chipping away but I'm looking at about 3-4 years before ill see a huge difference in disposable income all things being equal.
However recently (last 6 months) made changes (a lot of thanks to this thread) - managed to start saving an emergency fund which I needed after Christmas & was so grateful I could just use it. Also my financial planning is much better. However our weak spot has always been holidays & short breaks. Not expensive but enough to put the budget out for a few months & cause me stress in dealing with unpaid bills (DH is an ostrich so I just give him money to spend - very little but it's the only thing that works. I buy his clothes too as he's not interested). Literally our only reward / pleasure is a short weekend (with the kids) we never go out otherwise as noone to babysit / can't afford it anyway.

So - all that being considered I have resisted recent pressure to drop a few hundred on a mini break for all of us.

My dilemma is this - I've built up a bit of an emergency fund (not much) which is helping with a secure feeling. I also save a holiday fund but was planning to use that on taking unpaid parental leave to enjoy summer hols. It means we won't have much left over for an actual holiday away so we were going to skip it this year or else see if any rock bottom deals available at some stage. But either way I wasn't going to worry about it & not book anything as usually I'm in a sweat having booked & paid for a holiday we have no spending money & I end up borrowing from family or not paying bills (ridiculous).

This year however a close cousin has announced she's getting married in south of Spain & is looking for numbers ASAP. DH really wants to go (with kids) but it would mean all our savings including emergency fund gone plus added pressure to save from our paltry disposable income to cover parental leave. I've explained all this to DH but he reckons it would be great for the kids etc however to save for the summer then that means no new clothes (which we never buy I mean for the kids) no cinema no extra cash for sports etc and either major stress for me or borrowing from family at last minute as usual. I really want to say no but I feel like I'm letting everyone down. Then if I do say no there'll still he pressure to go somewhere later in the year when tbh we need a year off from spending on hols.

As I type it's clear what should happen. Also worried about ruining my relationship with my cousin.

WWYD ?!