Debt mutual support thread number 5 .... the light at the end of the tunnel is NOT an oncoming train

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from the last four threads in the series, the most recent of which is here.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/a2142758-Debt-mutual-support-thread-number-4-every-journey-starts-with-the-hardest-first-step

We live in a society that makes it incredibly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
The posters on threads are here to help people get to where they want to be.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.
The long term results for you, your marriage and your children are worth it.

TIP thanks we do like all of those things...and have most in right now...need to get my head in order too!

Fluffy really? I wouldn't know where to start with the wording on such an email...

peonies bless thanks - I'm sorry but ive missed what your condition is...didnt you just have surgery a few weeks back? I hope you are as comfortable as can be expected.

Let me do dinner and I'll draft one you can cut and paste & put the relevant dates on.

Which company was it?.

Ford Insure

I mean wow thanks

www.ceoemail.com/s.php?id=8960&c=Ford%20UK Ceo of ford uk. The insurance is underwritten Europa group ltd but I cannot find their email address.

Dear Mr Ovendale,

Motor Insurance Policy Number

I have recently cancelled a Ford Motor Insurance policy with you because of an issue with the no claims discount. I was not happy with the service I was recieving.

At no point was I told I would have to pay an extra money after I cancelled. I would have remembered being told I owed more money.

Today a letter arrived threatening legal action if I don't pay £77. I have had no prior correspondence about this.

I have paid to avoid court action.

It is very distressing to receive such a strongly worded letter. I would like this to be investigated.

Thank you.

Kind regards.

Try that, you can't go from zero to "pay us £77 or we go to court". At the very least the heavy handed approach is appalling customer service.

Aviva tried to charge dh £50 for cancelling but he'd reinsured with them and after checking her facts credited dh with £25. Same method though, don't mention the charge then wallop the customer weeks later.

I have post op complications after an emergency op in Jan which have eluded the NHS since April, largely due to their refusal to give me an MRI scan, instead they put me through two unsuccessful operations, unsuccessful because they hadn't scanned me so didn't do the right thing.
Now I'm in a private hospital courtesy of my amazing workplace, having what will hopefully be the final operation to sort this all out.

Peonies I hope you have a peaceful night. I'll share my virtual painkillers with you (mc in full force today). Ouch.

Dye I found co codamol very good when I had my mc x
Missa I do hope you had a better night? Ds1 decided he couldn't sleep last night so I had a great lumbering 11 year old old in bed with me from midnight!

bad funnily enough I did - sheer exhaustion kicked in and I was able to sleep although I woke up 3 or 4 times in pain. I need to be fed on a drip for at least a few more days before surgeons are willing to operate on me, which is frustrating as I m still in pain and they know what is wrong, but as long as they cure me in the end it will all be worth it.

Thanks dye hope you're feeling better today

Dye...that was supposed to be a :( face!
Sorry!

Hoping you finally get sorted out Miss and hope you don't have to wait too long for the op .

Exactly...a few more days will be so worth it in the end

Folks, is YNAB still the money tracking mode of choice?! I finally have a working laptop (thanks Dad!) and am wondering whether or not to invest in the software? Any good deals for it at the moment?!

Thanks guys you're right, as long as I am cured this will all be worth it. Making the worlds longest list of foods I want to eat when well, also restaurants I want to go to - not very frugal! DH has been so good he brought me boiled sweets to see if I could suck on them slowly and loads
Of drinks etc

peonies oh you have been through the mill..so nearly there. I hope you are comfortable and they get it sorted this time

dye I hope you are resting. My second mc I had 'rush' like feelings (weird to describe properly) and felt faint and dizzy..this was after I'd got home from hospital (mmc so had medical evac). Please take care and have someone nearby just in case I remember feeling quite scared as I've never fainted before and I had DS to look after.

fluffy that is ever so kind of you. I'm not well with a virus thing so I'm putting this on my Monday list of admin/errands that I need to catch up on.

My heart sank. Additional costs this month that were not budgeted for:

Land manangement company £58 which I thought I had paid but not (so my fault) but they tried to charge £48 in admin fees which I have not paid - waiting to hear about that.

Insurance cancellation charge £77.00 - Im fighting this one - we had to put this on Barclaycard. We do pay 3 times the minimum payment so its not adding to debt but clearly slowing up repayment if that makes sense.

Children meals out on Thursday £13 and a takeaway £17 (which didnt even get eaten anyway) - which on a good week I can feed the four of us lunches and evening meals if breakfast is already in the cupboard.

So I need and emergency fund - not got one started at the minute and my mergency food has already been advised and accounted for in the Tesco shop that arrived today.

I want to post my number up but Im too scared I know we have things set up in quite a contradictory way.

Hi girls peonies I hope you're ok & comfortable
I've missed loads again but I as only use my phone I can't seem up scroll back apart from the most recent page. Annoying ! If I press "previous" I seem to just go to the bottom of this page.

Anyway I hope everyone is ok ! I mentioned we got a new freezer chest - well some genius turned it off at the plug last night. Discovered this morning that everything was cold but defrosted. So have turned a blind eye & turned it back on again.... . I think we'll be ok nothing too dodgy in there & everything will be cooked.

Money wise - heading into 4 days with e35 left but a fully stocked fridge. I think this is getting easier. Still no emergency fund ...

didyou I'm so sorry for your loss

Hi I'm being a bit of an obsessive & not to trivialise our 2 friends current ordeals I just have to rant somewhere.

I work with an extremely pompous a*se who is the same level as me but less qualified, 15 years older & seething with resentment that I joined the team & routinely challenge him. He goes out of his way to be aggressive so much so that I requested that we both move beside my boss so that she could hear him ! Now he waits until she has left the vicinity to wind me up. He does this using several different techniques - he just crosses boundaries a lot. I stand up to him a lot esp when he challenges me to my face but he also goes behind my back & sets things up with my boss eg criticising my work (incorrectly usually) and the sitting back while she pulls me up on it & I have to go into defence mode. I can honestly say I can't stand the man and I'm not the only one most people can't stand to work with him either but he is an expert brown noser. However the edge I have on him is a) my qualifications & b) my ability to turn things around 5 times faster than him (he obv made a career of sitting on work in the past he makes a meal of everything & my mgr knows this). He sits beside me and sometimes I feel him watching me work as he has nothing to do ! Meanwhile I'm in a sweat doing something he can't/won't do in less than a week.

Sorry for the vent I feel better already ! He has piped down a lot from his peak 6 months ago (there was name calling involved amongst other things but I'm not pursuing the obvious route & putting myself out I just have to put up with him !) but some mornings I dread seeing him there. I was faking it for ages being really friendly but tbh I'm just worn down ESP after a break of a few days I just don't want to see him & his aggressive manner ! In some ways I feel sorry for him he hogs work as he may have been given too little in the past & he's obv insecure too but he is making things difficult for me. At times my mgr sends me emails copying him as if I also report to him but we're equals. She also does things to him too which I feel is slightly humiliating so I suppose it goes around. We have weekly meetings & they can be quit strained as my mgr changes her mind a lot so mid sentence she'll allocate work or take something she knows you like off you. I feel he gets a few better gigs than me but I let him as I learned long ago not to get attached to "glamour" projects.

I was awake at 4am hyperventilating about this this morning !! Nothing i can do about it i have to put
up. Again sorry for taking up Internet air - I hope our patients are well.

( snowie ) such people are indeed a total PITA
look up mindfulness : if you can select a few breath control / stress management techniques so that you can smile and let it wash past you then he will stop being able to stress you
but DO make sure that the manager is aware that you have consciously risen above the pettiness

Ah snowie that's horrible, and thank you for your kind words x

Dye Was the stinky cheese nice
Hope you are doing OK - well within the limits of sanity

Thanks Tip I have mindfulness permanently on my FB it helps a bit. However we're both number crunchers only he never passed his exams yet he still takes it upon himself to desperately try and find a hole in something I've had to produce in 5 minutes. Unbelievable - I should be training him in.

Rant over sorry when others are going through real pain

Wine and stinky cheese definitely helping!

During the worst of it I was on mse just reading people's debt stories and watching extreme cheapskates . I know it's a bit weird but it's like a distraction somehow?

I've updated my spreadsheets to account for not having mat leave etc. 's ok really.