Debt mutual support thread number 5 .... the light at the end of the tunnel is NOT an oncoming train

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from the last four threads in the series, the most recent of which is here.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/a2142758-Debt-mutual-support-thread-number-4-every-journey-starts-with-the-hardest-first-step

We live in a society that makes it incredibly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
The posters on threads are here to help people get to where they want to be.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.
The long term results for you, your marriage and your children are worth it.

moneyone congrats on pay rise - I wish that would happen to us but zero chance - both public servants & I'm frozen at the top of my grade

I feel glad that everyone shares my belief that it's important to spend quality time with my DH. This weekend has just been lovely.

I feel as though getting to grips with our budget is having a really positive impact on our marriage.

Having some NSDs this week to try to offset our busy weekends in November!

trainers I believe that DH and I our the 'foundation'. The DC are often first priority for practical day to day stuff. But having got through a seperation and near divorce we are quite protective of 'us' - as from that everything else feeds off it, it that makes sense.

We planned out Christmas last night - we've agreed to stay in a lot in November and not do certain trips. We have one free thing booked for kids. Xmas is to see friends we both have one night out and one joint one with kids. We have agreed what to buy DC. Plus not having a 4 week Christmas this year so no extra food buys for 'party nights' (just us in house!)

Ah, snowie I should have guessed from your previous posts that you were a public servant too. Its a scary place to be right now, we have just been offered voluntary redundancy again with the exciting prospect of lot of restructuring once that's all over. I've been through so many now that I really can't be bothered with worrying about it any more

I celebrated my first day in my new role with a latte, my only spend today. Felt oddly extravagant :o

Finally got around to submitting a meter reading and we are hugely under the estimate they made in September for the electricity. Hoping this will result in a reduction of the monthly payment once they get over the shock. I really should have done this months ago! :)

Hello all: no real update but very interested in your progress. Plodding along nicely is my update.

just getting organised - house a tip after half term> still had DS & DH here today. ive realised my spending is very much worse - unecessary when I'm not organised which week before half term was. ive gone back to minimalism thread - attitude has to be action too.

been looking to christmas - have been costing it all out as a guide on amazon. I want to decorate DS room (we have new furniture and bedding for him) but need to buy paint. I also need to decorate kitchen dinner (basic white so cheaper) but also need to get oven and toilet fixed. Xmas holiday booked (pre budget booked last year) so have financial commitments there to eating out and fuel.

feeling low

Looking a bit broke here. Back from half term hol - all budgeted for but still expensive!

Bought some mat clothes on eBay. Should be arriving in the next few days.

Bought a load of 2nd hand baby gear from face bay/ friends. Got a lot to show for it so feeling quite pleased.

Decided to switch to minimum payments for debt (all at 0%) and put some money aside in savings. If we need it, it's there; if we don't, we can pay it against the debt. Aiming to have about (2k) in addition to existing 1 k emergeny fund by the spring - start of mat leave.

Half terms sighs here too.

Anyway, on we go. Marking place.

Hi kinky & didyou - still got lots more wifework to catch up (my dry sense of humour that is) I spent most of yesterday making sly comments about clutter and tidying to DH - Im hoping he has absorbed it (slowly slowly catch a monkey)

I have precision planned my meals- I've put them on my spreadsheet and placed tesco order for this Friday. This stops me from eating out on a whim if I know food is there waiting. Ive planned what days Im cooking double and what needs lifting out of freezer to avoid all this.

Ive checked all my D/D off my spreadsheet and made all manual online ones - set up S/O for new 0% card that I've used to pay off O/D. Next is full move over to M&S.

DH asked when we were having our fireworks shindig So im off to get a small pack...I did leave some spare.

Didyou - I always thought that it was better to put money aganst card balances but then if you have emergencies you could use the card. This is what I've always said to DH as he has said this - 'what if washing machine breaks or boiler' (god forbid the latter!) well we use the card.

Im impresed though that people are strict enough to have those pots of emergency funds - should I be starting one? I will have a pot of £1200 by May 2015 but that is for our holiday in May. I have misgivings about this holiday.

p.s. I know it seems mad to buy fireworks (£20) for a little garden set but if we go to free display there are fairground rides and burger vans etc - and it turned cold, doesnt start to 8pm so this is our cheaper option IYSWIM. off to alter meal planning!

I did our YNAB for November this week - it'll be the first month we have used a joint budget.

Already going to unfortunately have a big spend as I need to go to the dentist next week to get a referral to the orthodontist which was £50 last time

My reward if we stick to everything this month is going to be the Lakeland heated airer I have been saving for since September - putting £25 a month away mentally. I know it's sad but I can't wait!

trainers I'd love one of those. I just cant justify it at the moment. Yesterday I got three loads of laundry done and hung out on line and airers and it all got wet in the rain - it is still out there. I can get stuff dry quickish on radiators in winter...I have little space indoors or driers too. It will remain on my list.

I'm interested in having a go with YNAB but am having trouble getting started as don't have a pc at the moment.
How does it work? I understand it helps you budget but then you surely need to link that to the real live money in bank accounts? Is it not duplication?
Also how do people find it works when you have joint accounts? I'm not sure I could get dh to use the technology!!

Hi Jemster, we as of this month use the same budget so we will be able to see what the other spends - I guess the thinking with YNAB is that you are partners in life and in finance!

You can link your bank accounts (I haven't bothered) but because I track everything it is usually accurate to within a few pounds.

You do, though, need a computer to sync the budgets.

trainers

Have you thought about buying a spin dryer? I got one last year & the washing drys on airers with no heating on. It gets an extra pint of water out of a wash.

It costs me about 3p per cycle.

I wouldn't dry on radiators though, it makes the boiler work harder so the gas bill goes up, unless you have those airers that hook over the rads.

I have an old wooden zig zag airer (have never owned a tumble drier and not about to change now)
it holds 90% of a load of laundry : jeans go over the top of bedroom doors
I put it at the top of the stairs when I go out for the morning and the updraught dries most stuff in under a day.

washing machine spins at 1200 rpm so stuff does not come out of it dripping

When I got my washing machine it was cheaper to get the 1200rpm spin plus the spin dryer than the 1400rpm machine.

It spins at 2800rpm.

I have a carpet sweeper too. Dh says its like living pre-ww2 in this house.

Fluffy we are in a rented flat with no space for a spin dryer - next year looks like it might be The Year of The House though (more on that at some point soon I hope) so I will definitely think about it as a longterm plan!

Sorry to sound stupid but do radiators really work harder if they have washing on them?

We finally cracked last night and put the heating on.

andsmile. Problem I'd with your DHs theory; that's what got us here in the first place. That's how I've lived my entire adult life. If there was interest accumulating then I'd agree but if I pay off the card then have an emergency I'm going to shaft my 0% rate by purchasing something on said card. If I use my emergency fund for an emergency then I'm no further behind.

I also have a fairly low risk home (new build). And the good news is I won't 'lose out' doing it this way. If the money isn't needed it'll go on the debt.

this is the Dave Ramsey method - that's where it comes from.

Slightly strange, fluffy, so envious,I always wanted a carpet sweeper. I hate my dyson.??

Trainers, apparently yes. It was on energy saving trusts website so in my mind it must be true.

Dh had a dyson when I met him & it was such a disappointment. I only got my sweeper on Sunday because we had a rebate off the electric & I think it will save on the electric bill in the long term.

I try to re-invest rebates in energy saving things like led bulbs & draught excluders etc.

Oh and we have a Lakeland drier. Can thoroughly recommend it!

I have a carpet sweeper and it is awesome! We got it when dd went through a phase of being terrified of the hoover and it is ace. I wouldn't be without one now.

Possibly I need to get out more :)