Debt mutual support thread number 5 .... the light at the end of the tunnel is NOT an oncoming train

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from the last four threads in the series, the most recent of which is here.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/a2142758-Debt-mutual-support-thread-number-4-every-journey-starts-with-the-hardest-first-step

We live in a society that makes it incredibly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
The posters on threads are here to help people get to where they want to be.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.
The long term results for you, your marriage and your children are worth it.

I also sold some DVDs on music magpie..I do not recommend that site!
Took weeks to get my money and then they paid me less than they quoted. Grr.
Dh and I have agreed to just get token gifts for each other this year.

marking place and waiting in anticipation for pay day tomorrow.

Well that's me on redundancy notice...again! So sick of it, just when you start to think your head might clear the water so belt tightening again...MUST get loan paid off by Dec, that's £300pm which I don't need to worry about having to fork out.

Take me back to basics folks...I can't be complacent. Where can I look to find the extra to overpay loan?

Oh fergus! I'm so sorry. That's rotten luck :(
How much do you still owe?
I guess the usual things...
Ebay stuff
Cut down at Xmas...have a "nofunvember" and save like mad for Xmas.
Do you shop at aldi/lidl?
Do you meal plan?
Have you checked all your insurances/utilities are the cheapest?
Cancel any non essential like sky etc
Sorry....you may have already done all the above!

Thanks Badvoc...I'm gutted. Loan balance is £4380 as at today. Monthly repayment is £299 and I've been making overpayments for past 3 months. I've extra money due to me Nov and Dec which will go to it so currently looking at having repaid it in full by Feb/Mar...would love to do it by end of year!

I've just listed a pile of stuff on local FB page.

Already meal plan but will go into freezer meal only mode so buy nothing except bread/milk and use up what I already have.

No Lidl/Aldi local so Tesco shopper but get pretty much value brand for everything.

Christmas is budgeted for.

Sky on basic package as my one and only treat these days!

What else, what else ...

Oh, just recently swapped to new gas/elec deal so that's down to £65pm...

Erm...anything you have bought recently that you either don't use or regret?
Could try sending it back?
Dh has just re done our energy supplier and even though we are staying with the same one we will be paying less next year!
Have you read your meters and checked you aren't in credit?
Erm....can't think of anything else!

Got £128 credit refunded last month and paid that off loan...haven't bought anything for ages so nothing to return...I'm looking at selling body parts or prostitution aren't I?!

Lol I've just got myself in a panic, so annoyed being back in this space again

If I put my sensible head on the redundancy would actually more than cover debt and a fair chunk if the mortgage...I just get scared being sole provider these days...

So lunch today is out of the freezer lol with tea to warm me up as I've put heating and water to off, will put them on as I need them. DS will just have toast later, I shouldn't need anything else to eat today...

Boss in holiday next week so will work from home and save on petrol money

Hi mum4fergus sorry about your shitty news. Sounds like you are ont he ball though.

Registered with angencies to get some seasonal xmas work and your normal line of work?

Does your local bar or restautant need help that may pay cash in hand?

Sorry if these are way different to what you normally do but I just thought given the season they maybe a good chance of getting something to help.

Are there any other D/D you could cancel...Im tempted to cancel dental tbh.

Long distance support hugs for everybody.

I'm going out to buy a router soon because where I'm staying has no wifi and a router for them is cheaper than using my phone here !
One itt stops raining I'll g out and see some skyscrapers and then get on with daughterly duties (which is why I'm actually here)

Good luck on your router hunt!

Thanks Smile/TiP...would love to take in a second job but already work fulltime and am single parent so no opportunity really...truth be known, I
shouldn't need to. I'm on,I think, a really good salary with minimal/reasonable outgoings...Id have a healthy surplus income but for the pesky debt

We are in exactly the same boat fergus.
Out loan repayment is also £299 per month.
But we have 2 years to go :(

Well if it makes you feel less alone we have 1 CC @ £300/month and another at £360 - mahoosive mortgage, large income from DH and we still manage to have fecked it up for the last three years.

Crap isn't it Smile, but hey...I'm snuggled up in bed with ma boy, the house is warm and dry and our tummies are full...I'm blessed. The redundancy is just a bump in the road...

It's what we do - hindsight is a glorious thing.

Mum sending much love and I am sure it will just be a bump; it's just a bugger the road is bumpy in the first place .

I am really appreciating the becoming minimalist ideology that got linked to on here. It speaks so much sense. I am attempting to embrace the 'I have everything I need' philosophy. It is quite freeing.

Pay day dance for me .

I wrote a long reply to Mum4 then lost it on my faulty ipad. I'm on my laptop now; so a bit more reliable.

I think I was just wishing you all the best and saying that you always seem so pragmatic that the redundancy will just be a blip - it won't sink you.

Has your XP got a robust maintenance payment in place? Have you checked entitled2? My only other thought was whether you could take in a lodger?

In other news here... Faulty 3 year old ipad (purchased 2nd hand 18 months ago has just been replaced for free by Apple. Who knew? I just presumed it had gone wonky with the software update but Apple ran tests and replaced it!

I have been on facebay accruing babybits. Spent £80 and have got loads of washable nappies, cot, car seat, moses basket, baby bouncer and a steriliser. I thought I'm going to seize the opportunity to grab bargains where I see them and s-p-r-e-a-d the cost over the next 7 months.

Thats the spirit mum4fergus

Oh oh oh - Im so pleased someone likes them minimalist things - I cant go on about it enough really. I don't of course because it is not just about decluttering. It is about so so much more, living intentionally which includes not buying all the shite that comes with consumerism. The best thing I read on one blog was something like:

The Jones are stressed, the Jones are struggling the Jones are broke. free yourselves now I say!!!

I was thinking about the concept of 'one' on the way back from school run. I was thinking the coat I happended to be wearing ws the most practical one and my 'goto' coat. I really could manage without all the others. The idea is that you only need 'one' of things.

Well I've rang up about volunteering today...for future career investment but be good to help people.

Awe,thanks folks

Morning

My spending is off the rails completely - food shopping is on C/C as I've overspent elsewhere and we've eaten out a bit.

I think I need to look again and be more realistic about what it achieveable.

I also should get my lazy arse into gear and do a car boot.

Im reading some of my minimalist stuff to get back in the zone. I think it was getting the new car, a bit niceness and gloss here leads to a bit more there.

Well re getting 0% they have just transferred £1000 into bank account to pay off overdraft. Need to transfer more.

www.theminimalists.com/debt/

Great link...thank you x

Yes, appreciate the link here too! Some of the areas it takes you too are fab, especially keen to try Project 333. That's my reading for the weekend sorted!

Interesting link. So true that clearing debt (and weight on the other threads I do) HAS to start with the internal acceptance of the need for change.

I'm in NYC at the moment. I could have bought a gorgeous breakfast from Dean and Daluca on 5th ave : but it would have cost over $20 ; so I turned the corner and found a place that fixed the same food without the 'label' for $5

And the amount of "stuff" is just unreal - and almost all of it will go out of fashion and be in the trash within a year.

I am totally embracing the minimalist stuff. Thank you and - you've made me look at my world in a very different way through sharing your links and I really appreciate it .

I've just boxed up another load of books for Amazon trade-in.

You very welcome all. Thats made my day being able to pass this on.

I know this family a little bit. I used to look at them and think what is it about their style their 'way'. I could never put my finger on it. You could see they had taste, wore decent stuff. But it was never 'top to toe'. It was/is never showy or always new. I realise now they bought just what they needed, qualuty items and used them until they needed replacing - not because (like me) fashions had changed, they were jut there in the shop, the start if a new school term/year. As a result they always looked decent and kind of understated.

I know they are savers and wait for things if it is not doable that month. I think DH and I have gonef rom experiencing having very little money growing up to suddenly (almost) being able to buy this that and the other, but of course there is still a limit - limits which we have pushed.

I feel like I now see but still need to action it through changes to habits.