Debt mutual support thread number 5 .... the light at the end of the tunnel is NOT an oncoming train

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from the last four threads in the series, the most recent of which is here.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/a2142758-Debt-mutual-support-thread-number-4-every-journey-starts-with-the-hardest-first-step

We live in a society that makes it incredibly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
The posters on threads are here to help people get to where they want to be.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.
The long term results for you, your marriage and your children are worth it.

Thanks, I'll have a good look

I wouldn't cancel pet insurance either.

andsmile

Well done, over £300 a year saved just by a few taps on the computer. Definitely ring bt..don't let them extend your contract unless you want to stay with them.

Its a bit of an anticlimax, but as of an hour ago I have no debt at all.
I paid the last £40 off my mortgage. My credit card happens to be at zero.
I owe no money to anything or anybody.
Time to put the kettle on.

The rest of you will get there. Honest.

Talkin Congratulations

How's it feel? I always expect to feel different.

Kinky

Fluffy I guess it will feel real at the weekend when DH gets home and we crack a bottle of real champagne
but at the moment its pretty meh tbh
the last £40 was small fry compared with the £130k that went before it!

I always feel meh too. Well done.

Oh wow TiP, that is great! Congratulations.

Oh congrats - awesome TIP enjoy your celebrations.

What will do you now...I ask as Im always thinking what we will do when we are free?

What will do you now
Save like fury
because neither of us has a pension, we have two children heading towards university age, and we'd like to move to somewhere leafier within the next 5 years.
Spending brakes are still firmly on

I like your state of mind TIP

Will you still be around thread ?

I'm not going anywhere.
My debts have been minimal for years.
I think its really important to help other people learn the lessons I learned in a constructive, non judgemental and long term way.

I was in debt for 15 years. I do remember how shitty it was.
But it IS worth getting to the champagne in the fridge stage

Tip - many congrats ! That's amazing - especially that you resisted temptation to borrow again as things got better. I for one would love to hear your full story from your worst situation until today if you're willing to share !!

Snowie
As with all debts it was pretty boring.

Went to University. Graduated with an overdraft, turned it into a rolling loan that got bigger each time it renewed.
Bought a house in 87, sold it in 88 : frittered the profit on booze, parties and a car.
Bought a house in 89 (with no deposit having frittered)
partied and drank every penny
and did stupid things like taking out a store card when drunk.
In 96 moved out of that house but rented it out and got one of the very first BTL loans to cover this house.
Borrowed a friends student loan to make ends meet.
Ended up with the credit cards on stop, the bank overdrawn and the loan and mortgage in arrears
In 98 we sold the old house and sank every penny of the profit into clearing unsecured debts
We have stayed clear of non mortgage debt ever since
Went self employed, lived on tax credits, had children
Paid the mortgage right down but in 2006 decided that the house prices were a bubble so put a huge extension on the house rather than move
Since then business has picked up
and the mortgage has been paid down

voila
30 years of my life

TiP congratulations! I expect you won't know quite how you feel for a while, it's bound to take a few days to really sink in. So pleased for you, but agree that there's always something to plan for. I had the feeling where you are is already 'leafy'? I'd like to move to by the sea in our dotage. Fisherman's cottage by the sea, rather than the docks by the sea we live by now. Maybe one day!

I have champagne in the fridge, got it for my 40th in the summer but hanging on to it for when DH finds a job. I quite like the irony of the kids getting FSM when we have Moët in the fridge! (Actually, they don't get them since DH finished his six months jsa, but you get the gist!)

Well, after our heart to heart last night, DH sat in the dark in the dinin room for a while, I think having a little pity party as I'd made a point of turning the lights off to save electric. I hope something sunk in, I know he has letters galore after his name but come Xmas if he's still out of work he can stuff the casual consulting and work in a supermarket for all I care, pride be damned we can't afford for him to have any. I just feel like I'm rapidly running out of patience with him. I feel like I'm doing my bit and he's not. Anyway, enough rambling. I hope everyone is ok x

Well done TiP! I love your calm, serene posts on here so the fact you've been slowly plugging away at your debts makes lots of sense as you have a good perspective on it all.

And good luck for the next stage of saving!

Not much to report here, had two wisdom teeth out yesterday - dentistry and getting a grip on my finances were my two aims for the year! Painful in different ways but both worth it!

Right! still busy trying to drill down and save money to pay off more...

Just managed to get a 0% deal for 14 months to pay off overdraft. This will save me approx £840 in interest payments for the duration of the deal. But also allow that money to be used to actually pay off the balance.

Ive just text DH and told him he needs to do the same. His overdraft is double mine.

Oh just to add - my M&S bank account switch is going through I should get the £100 voucher.

£50 cashback is showing as tracked for my energy switch which was also a reduction in monthly payment. Still waiting to see if we get refund as we are massively in credit.

Congratulations TiP

Congrats tip x

congratulations Tip! I've been lurking for a while on this thread.

Awww
I only posted it because I know that when you are snowed under it feels a million miles away.
When we were living in 1/4 of a house a few years back we felt utterly mad to be spending the money
but now its all come together
and I've got a few months to go till I hit 50!

andsmile
that overdraft deal is FAB as you'll be able to make REAL dents in the balance in that time.

jickjack
At least your DH sat without wasting electric
TBH it is really, really hard to turn the mindset around.

my DH would happily spend spend spend but I constantly rein him back in because we both have things we want to do when the kids leave home and they will be expensive.
Luckily he does not know how to log into his company bank account

Well, as predicted in reply to my earlier thread, we are currently entitled to no JSA, but should get a bit towards our mortgage interest. Final straw today, we received a letter for a huge council tax bill, as they've put things on hold whilst trying to decide if dh is eligible for anything In the meantime, despite dh sending off at least 7 applications every day, no interviews forthcoming - despite the fact he could do most of the jobs in his sleep

So total income - hopefully - will be £700 approx (self employed so no guarantee) and maybe some CTC, although that needs recalculating too, as they seem to have incorrect details and may have overpaid.

((((Carrie))))
Time for him to park his tanks on their lawn.
Do not just 'send off' job applications.
Go and visit the companies and ask to chat to people.
Go and sit in the foyer of a temp agency till they fob you off with a job that is how I got my first job : sat down and refused to leave till I had somewhere to go