Debt mutual support thread number 5 .... the light at the end of the tunnel is NOT an oncoming train

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from the last four threads in the series, the most recent of which is here.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/a2142758-Debt-mutual-support-thread-number-4-every-journey-starts-with-the-hardest-first-step

We live in a society that makes it incredibly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
The posters on threads are here to help people get to where they want to be.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.
The long term results for you, your marriage and your children are worth it.

Sorry X posts

Sorry, there are 4 of us. If I reduce the monthly payment I'll end up with a shortfall in winter.

Unfortunately one of our cats had a chronic condition that could flare up at any time again. Last time it cost me 500 in medication alone plus all the tests.

Our dog eats raw food which works out cheaper than dry food. The cats are on a mixture of canned and dry and works out OK. Plus cat litter and flea treatment, I don't think 40 per month is bad? Can't get it cheaper anyway ..

All utilities are on direct debit.

Our council tax is usually 190 Not sure what help we'll get towards that yet.

Decembers not that far away though, are the handsets worth selling? My last contract phone was £7 a month. If you both had one that saves over £50 a month.

Utility bills are easier to reduce, obviously you need some heat etc but try heating the room you are in instead of the whole house & lowering the thermostat on the hot water to 60 instead of 70. Any chance you can switch suppliers? Or that they owe you money?.

Could you watch tv on catch up only? Through a playstation or laptop? You wouldn't need a licence then & you might get a refund, my memory of paying a licence is that the first six months of the DD are double so they have some of your money in case you stop paying.

These threads are good.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1911061-NO-MORE-COLD-MUMSNETTERS

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/other_subjects/1324074-For-those-who-cant-afford-to-use-central-heating-this-year-How-are-you-going-to-cope

I'm going for the obvious ways to save here, others will have advice on benefits etc.

Oh I see - so have you included your child benefit in those figures too?

I can feed four of us on £40 per week and I allow another £10 for nappies, cleaning and toiletries. I coud do it cheaper if I bought all cheap frozen nuggets, sausages etc but I havnt quite gone that far.

andsmile, I'm in a 3 bed new build semi, ours is £38 but I think it will go down to £32. I'm home a lot too.

Do you have a hot water tank? Our builder left the immersion on & it would have cost a flipping fortune if I hadn't of noticed.

Sorry, I forgot - our mortgage is 780 per month.

Of course, the more I earn, the less help we get..

I am pretty good at turning lights off, turning the thermostat down, etc, but with 2 of us at home all day and using the computer, I guess it pushes it up a bit. At the moment the heating is rarely on, I've only put it on for an hour twice this autumn yet

I try to do an online shop for 40 plus £1.00 delivery and a veg box for £8 on top of that, sometimes it's higher if we need loo roll, laundry detergent, tampons etc! My weakness is top up shops, but I am trying to cut down on them.

There is also 82 child benefit but that goes in a different account where the standing orders towards our debt go out of.

Thanks for all the advice and the links.

I don't think we'd get much for the handsets - dh's doesn't work half the time, so he will need a new one. Mine is a cheap handset, as I gave dd my other phone for her birthday - the total amount includes 10 top up for her too.

Yes ours was built 8 years ago so reasonably new. Ok here is my energy confessions:

We fall asleep to TV being on in bed (I know this is a bad habit - I got burgled once and I've done it ever since) But it switches off on a timer thing.

We have a lamp on during the day as the lounge is dark and gloomy.

We usually have a TV on.

DS has a lamp on in his room to sleep with.

We've only put the heating on this weekend gone a little bit. It heats up quick. I had it on earlier today but it is not tonight as house warm.

All insulated, double glazed...... I think we have a lot of stuff on charge a lot - we have six apple devices alone.

But I have checked my account and I am £400 in credit as we head into winter - I p ay exactly £100 per month on DD.

Take the TV out of the bedroom.
Read in bed.
Its better for your melatonin levels that the blue of the TV screen.

Change DS lamp for an LED night light that will use zilch electric.

Turn off the TV unless you are actually watching it : sitting there, not multiscreen.

If the lounge is dark and gloomy, go to a charity shop and see what they do in the way of mirrors to bounce the light around - or sit in a different room

Good luck carrie I think your first port of call is your mortgage bank & see about interest only for a while as someone else suggested. Also if you have cats I don't think all dried food is good for them. We were told by a vet once it damages their kidneys as cats rarely drink water they get a lot of it from (tinned) food. Our cat is funny though will only eat certain flavours. Luckily he's used to the small lidl ones (but refuses game lol).

Well it looks like goodbye cushion fund already. I'd switched energy provider & instead of paying on payday by eft it's by dd on a date of their choice (2 days before payday according to bill received today !). Bill this month 100. Cushion fund 50.

Is your loft insulation 27cm deep & free of stuff stored on it?. If you squash loft lagging it doesn't work as well. Pil had free lagging off BG but boarded it down for storage.

I've got led bulbs in 80% of outlets now. Electric consumptions halved since last autumn. The halogen oven helped though.

We have our mortgage with the Halifax and they said they no longer allow customers to change to Interest Only

One of our cats is prone to bladder infections, so can only have very little dry food, and must have mainly wet.

Dd sleeps with a bedside lamp on too - she has a nightlight, but still finds it too dark.

carrie I know how you feel, my DH has been out if work since last September. I wouldn't count on help towards your mortgage, the figure is something like £110 a week between you (or more) and you don't qualify for help. Bear in mind your DH will get £70 a week ish jsa and there's little wriggle room to qualify. We didn't get any help towards council tax either BUT if you pay it over ten months at the moment, you can ring the council and get them to change it to twelve months. If you do it now they'll adjust for the rest of this year, then the new figure kicks in from April. Ours went from £148 to £74 this time last year, so from April this year it's now £125, which is helpful.

I would review the pet insurance too, maybe keep it for the dog but ditch it for cats? My two cats still get Iams but we buy it when it's on offer. If I get them cheap biscuits, my ginger tom eats far too many and gets sick , plus kills and eats more mice, and given that he's 18lbs of hungry tabby, I'm happy to buy the good biscuits!

Well, I have finally made DH realise just how bad our position is and got him to realise that he has to stop using his credit cards for anything other than expenses. He's been paid for some odd days he's done consulting for a French contact so I'm paying the minimum off the cards this month and using the rest to help float the joint account in case my parents can't help this month. In slightly more positive news, he's been asked for a second interview from the interview last week. Not sure when yet, but it's a positive sign at least.

Right, bed is calling! Heating off here and staying off until November, unless half term week is freezing in which case I may give in early!

Cats : ours get Hills - whichever variety is on offer, the biggest sack I can manage - it works out about 10 per month for the pair. Now that Compost cat is dead I'm cutting right back on the wet food as they are both overweight - water comes from the pond!

Lights in bedrooms : if each child has a night light, turn off the other light once they are asleep. If they wake in the night they will be adjusted and the little light will be plenty.

It's probably better to speak to halifax & ask what they can do to help you, rather than go interest only.

It's better for them to keep you there.

Right I'll look into the those new lightbulbs. I guess the exterior porch light should go too.

Well three days a week we are all out so no heating/power on them days. I get the kids to showere twice a week at the gym - I could shower their three days maybe four (and they are nice big hot showers with free gel!) I suppose I could be more conscious about water use in this way (water meter) and save on the hot water energy use.

Since my last post I have switched energy providers via top cashback site, think I'll get £55 and I have a new D/D of £83.00 and this is before I get into energy savings. I think I maybe entitled to a refund even though we are at the start of winter.

I have also just got a new car insurance quote which is £10 per month cheaper than current and £20 per month cheaper than what I anticipated for new car.

So all in all by Novembers salary we should be £40 per month better off.

• I think I can save a little there too by getting landline package reduced.

Jickjack, sorry to hear that. Dh has been out of work since last July, but did a couple of months' work earlier this year. His JSA is constantly reassessed depending on how much I work and what I earn. We have been speaking to the Halifax all the time, we had an overpayment that gave us 3 months grace, then took a 3 month holiday, for a month or 2 we had some help via benefits, then for a while we made payments of a few hundred every month. We have another 25 years left so can't extend the term.

I only have pet insurance for one cat due to his chronic illness. If I cancel his insurance I won't be able to insure his condition again

I avoid visiting the vet the rest of the time, buying flea treatment cheap online.

I forgot to include car insurance at 17 in the outgoings

Carrie I think it maybe a case of wait and see for your DH's JSA... in the meantime what do you think you can do based on advice so far - sometimes just 'owning it' and knowing you are doing your best with small steps helps to edge forward. (HTH)

Is it possible you or DH will pick up seasonal work re xmas period (sorry to mention it)

Thanks. I hope we will hear this week how much he will get if anything.

I will sit down and work out how much we can pay towards the different things. It has been difficult this last month or so, as dd has shot up and needed new winter stuff, ie jeans, sweatshirts. She grew out of all her shoes too, but luckily now my shoes fit her, so I have given her my trainers, converse and boots! I can do without

I managed to find 2 pairs of M&S jeggings on eBay really cheap in excellent condition and also a cardi.

I want to cancel the life insurance, but dh is dead set against that.

We can't renew the home insurance until January I think, but will shop around then.

Can anyone tell me where best to go for a sim card when my contact is up? My phone is fine. I don't make many calls, but do like a bit of data allowance and lots of texts if possible. I also want to keep my number - can I port it from contract to payg? Otherwise I can get a sim only deal from o2, but they aren't the cheapest. If I have to change my number it won't be the end of the world though.

Well - like I and others have done he will need a bit of time to accept some changes (we've been moaning this week) stand firm, seems these DH's have abit of head in sand on this thread!

Well here is your sim card info - you can get a free PAYG sim card.

www.topcashback.co.uk/sim-cards/cashback/

Check your energy on that website too