Debt mutual support thread number 5 .... the light at the end of the tunnel is NOT an oncoming train

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from the last four threads in the series, the most recent of which is here.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/a2142758-Debt-mutual-support-thread-number-4-every-journey-starts-with-the-hardest-first-step

We live in a society that makes it incredibly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
The posters on threads are here to help people get to where they want to be.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.
The long term results for you, your marriage and your children are worth it.

TiP, what are your thoughts on turning the heating on and off? Is it better to keep it on all the time low or to time it to come on for an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening? And do thermostats save money? So, for example, have the heating on from 7 a.m till 9 p.m, but turn down the thermostats in the bedrooms and kitchen, will that save money?

We buckled at the weekend as we were ill and cold and shivery :(
We have it on for a couple of hours in the morning and it's just clicked on again til about 7 (I think)
We also have an oil filled radiator for the conservatory which you can leave on a low setting especially for conservatories.

carrie
we have TRVs in each room set to different levels
at the start and end of winter its on 6am to 8am and then 5pm to 9pm
if its cold in the middle of the day I light the woodburner
in the dead of winter its on 6am to 9pm
(8am start at weekends as nobody gets up early)
bedrooms are kept coolest, then living rooms, then bathrooms

get a max-min thermometer and move it around the house as our roomstat says 23 when the house is at 18!

I managed to cut our gas bill in half last year by switching from the automatic programme (on and off all day or low all day if very cold) to just having it on for literally 2 short bursts a day - about an hour or so morning and same evening and using big fleece blankets on laps in the evenings! It's not great admittedly but we did go from £60 a month gas to £30.

Just heard a podcast with Martin Lewis. Energy saving trust said its more efficient twice a day when needed NOT at a lower temperature on constant.

Hi all - no heat on here either ! We don't have winter duvets so I must get some - which is the highest tog - 20 ?

Revised DHs budget - slight increase & now paid fortnightly which might work better for everyone. I'm also going to keep a "float" so I don't have a panic ev time he demands an extra shopping item / refund for s'thing necessary he bought etc & I need to expect it too.

House badly needs some window maintenance - handle broken on upstairs window which is causing a crack & more cold but I can't get it repaired just yet.

Talking about Xmas - ill have saved 500 on work voucher scheme - all shops. Planned to get dc's ds2s but at 130 each that's a good chunk gone ! I'll prob also have to cook for about 10 this year too (sigh)...

Snowie You do not need winter duvets : just put a blanket or quilt over the duvet.

I had never heard if a winter duvet til I joined mn! :)
I either put a blanket on OR go to bed in a fleece and socks.
We also use not water bottles.

I have a winter duvet and a summer one... I am very underactive thyroid and feel the cold terribly at night so I treated myself to a 15 tog one last year. Dh calls it the "marshmallow" because it's so soft and fluffy!

We give dd our summer duvet on top of her normal 12 tog one for winter to keep her cosy.

I've got a white company duvet 13.5 tog that will be surplus when my duvet covers arrive.

It's got a penicillin stain on it that won't come out but you'd be welcome to it.

Failing that smart price duvets work fine.

I'm derby/leics border.

No good for cat allergy sufferers.

Fluffy!
Ditto!
:)

I am fat with fibromyalgia so not a friend of central heating, plus it brings out skin problems in DS. DH loves having heating on, so we are in a constant battle of him switching it on and me switching it off . I'd rather wear more clothes, wrap up in blankets, etc. I have blasted the house twice this week when it's got really cold, but apart from that I am determined it is staying off.

I have fibro too kinky.
I feel the cold though

My mum bought us all duvets years ago that can be velcro'd together for winter or used separately in summer/spring, they are great.

Thanks for the info re. heating on for two bursts a day rather than all day.

I just wasn't sure whether setting the TRVs in each room made any difference to the bill (can you tell I don't understand how central heating works?).

Bad I go between the two. I get - TMI warning - very overheated and sweaty which I've been told is a symptom. I'm a wreck of a woman .

Thanks to TiP's advice I am getting my credit from a Debenham's card reimbursed - to be honest I hadn't touched the account in 18months but I wrote to them to get them to shut the account and cough up the money!

Have friends over for dinner, I'm making gnocchi with instant mash - costs pence but is really lovely.

Fluffy we used to live Leics/Derby border ish too! I often miss it, especially as one of my best friend's lives in Derby. Family led me back South though, now I'm not too far from TiP

Been AWOL, have had a stonking chest infection, still feel rubbish and hiding from the car crash that is our finances doesn't help.

Interesting comments about the £100k thread. I have a friend (who earns more than that and spends £1700 a month in Waitrose, for a family of three!) who calls it 'two bmws on the drive no food in the fridge' syndrome. I think she has a point as so much seems to be about keeping up with the Joneses. Though no one can ever be sure what goes on behind closed doors, but I guess it's about priorities and for some that's about keeping face.

I put our winter duvet on last night, lovely! I'm the cold one in our house so I'm sure DH will be complaining he's too hot soon but tough! Heating will be off till November. I saw on another thread info about the Warm Home front thingy, so hot DH to ring our supplier today and we qualify so that's £140 towards the electric this winter which is not to be sniffed at.

DH had a job interview today for a job he could easily do and is in his scientific field, and it's based in Romsey which isn't far at all given they want someone in the office two/three days a week. Good salary too, less than he's used to but enough to cover all our outgoings including paying the debt, which means my wages can also be thrown at the debt and once clear, into rebuilding the kids savings which we've had to use this year and then the mortgage. Fingers crossed this is the job he gets. After a year of unemployment he really needs a break.

Gosh, what a load of waffle, sorry. I hope everyone is keeping well in this changing weather we're having!

I have a £25 amazon voucher to spend...except I don't want anything (or rather I don't want anything for £25!! :))
Sooo...
Am saving it for Xmas...it will go towards Xmas presents.
Had to buy a new hair dyer with another voucher :( damn thing is about to blow up!

I want to know what these people are buying to manage £500 a week grocery shops? Is it a bag of apples and lots of champagne?

I want to be belittling, but I'm not, I'm just

I hope he gets the job jick

My sister spends that kinky. Easily.
She buys clothes and other stuff too with the food (shoes, toys etc)
Last month she bought her 2 boys the latest hand held console thingy...£500 for both. For no reason.

I think she finds my grocery budget quite amusing :(

kinky I think it could be quite easily done if you don't give any thought to what you buy. So if you don't food plan at all it's easy to think 'oh I need Parmesan' every time you shop because you have no idea what's already in the fridge. I think ready meals would quickly add up too. Once my friend came over with cakes from M&S and she left her receipt in the bag. Much as I tried not to be nosey, I failed miserably and nearly fell over when I saw best part of £150 on ready meals!

Thanks fluffy

Good luck for your husband Jick, I really hope he gets it.

My DH started a new job in August and we are slowwwwly clawing our way out of debt.

We have struggled to look forward for so long, meaning we could barely pay for the month in hand let alone look to the future. So we have no savings and have made some decisions we shouldn't have, in hindsight, as we maybe treated ourselves as short-term indulgences. But now we are regaining control.

It would have been better if it was £150 on cakes . Good luck from here too on the job for your DH.

Bad - it sounds like it will catch up with them though. I've spent like that in the past at the supermarket and now I'm paying for it - the supplementing groceries with toys and luxury bits style of shopping. Sainsbury's is my personal nemesis.

Kinky sainsbo's is so bloody tempting!

I bought a Kilner jar on Sunday there which I stuffed with noodles, leftover bean sprouts, veg and soy sauce for a Hugh F-W pot noodle for lunch today. It was lovely. I did eye up Sainsbury's clothes, Christmas gifts, bakery and electricals - before I'd have spent 50 or 60 quid and just put it out of my mind but now my Kilner jar was my treat!