Debt mutual support thread number 4 .... every journey starts with the hardest first step

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
and my THIRD
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/a2062902-Debt-Number-3-For-those-who-feel-they-are-drowning-and-want-a-way-out?msgid=48505428#48505428
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.
The long term results for you, your marriage and your children are worth it.

Sounds good I find it's all the snacking when you're out that costs a fortune esp if you're a tourist with kids you have the "no price" hazard etc but mine are more or less conditioned now that if we say we don't have enough money for something they accept it. These days ds is old enough to understand if I say something is too expensive ie it's bad value etc hes going to either grow up v tight & loaded or the opposite a total spender :)

Hi I have a question - I've been looking at our debts this morning & if we used v aggressive snowball method I could clear 42k by sept 16 which would be amazing. I had rejigged our budget from sept which included us saving 760 per month (this is the income outside our salaries). I had planned keeping this for all sorts of emergencies eg gas boiler replacement, car replacement (ours is 10 years old) or any major house repairs etc. also for piece of mind as I've never had savings hence the debt problem everything was borrowed for up until about 2009 (when credit no longer flowed in our direction !).

However if I saved the money & then just paid into debts when I had only 1000 of an emergency fund saved in total would that be better ? The first debt I'm paying isn't the one with highest interest but the one that has given me the most trouble (aggressive debt collecting & would not agree to any reduced payments or restructured proposed etc causing serious stress) so I would like to get rid ASAP at this rate I could do it in a year if I really focus. However it also means we will still never have a cushion or nest egg apart from emergency 1000.
I'm also ignoring the fact that we need some new kitchen appliances.

Peace of mind i meant

Hello been lurking here and having a look. I really like the positive encouragement. We are starting a process through step change as we have nothing left after paying our bills etc and I am afraid of being penniless.....started to do picnics etc and just realized today that the 2.50 voucher that TESCO sent me can be converted to a tenner in a restaurant yay! I know Tesco are evil ish but at this point beggars can't be choosers!! Also got some vouchers for john lewis free coffee and a cake once a month. I feel guilty because I don't think DS should have to suffer because of our money mismanagement but.....here we are.......

Snowie I think I'd just plough on with repaying the debts as quickly as possible.

The boiler might never break down etc.

You'd pay more interest on the debts than interest on savings.

snowie I'd dave £1000 emergency fund and start snowballing the debt - if something big comes up then you'll have the £1000 to begin with and you just stop repaying extra on debt until you have whatever it is cleared up.

It does freak me out a bit not having a cushion larger than £1000, but I have a credit card with a £4000 credit limit and no balance on it, so if the worst came to the worst I could put something on that and then clear it very quickly using all our combined spare income. Eventually I will have a proper emergency fund of 3-6 months salary saved - this will happen as soon as we clear this last credit card and the car.

Yes I'll do that I just need to get started hopefully from September. I'm going to take out 500 PM and place in post office until I have the 1000 and save 260 pm separately so won't be paying more into debts until nov but at least it's something. Will really need to be disciplined though that's the hard part ! I feel like I'm the money police in my house sometimes trying to keep groceries spend etc under control too.

Hello philnteds. Welcome! It's nice, you can dip in and out and we've managed so far to get along!
Snowie - pay the debt off! Think how you would feel in a years time? I am always projecting myself - at christmas, will I feel better with little debt, or with a conservatory? (Debt wins)

Ooh I'd love a conservatory

Well here's one to get your teeth into....

We've been offered a trial membership at he local health club. Includes the DC £30 for all of us. Going to give it a go as it has unlimited pool use, so over the month that will represent fab value. Nothing to quibble about there (using 'entertainment' portion of the budget for this)

But then there'll be the sticky issue about signing up once the trial is over.

Now rationally I think NO - it'd be £175pcm for the 4 of us. This would extend the life of the debt from 18m to 21m at the rate we're paying it off.

But then I think this....

My children need to be run like hounds. We have bikes, scooters and dogs. We're VERY active. But wouldn't it be nice to go swimming after school and at the weekends. There's also lots of other clubs for the children that they could get involved in. I'd cancel their swimming lessons so that'd knocks off approximately £45 PCM

DH and I both work odd hours so we could use it when the kids are at school.

Hmmm. He thinks we should. But then he also thinks a stoopid £30k car was a good idea (now gone)

Our combined earnings are £75k per annum (gross). Our debt is now £22k.

Go on. Tell me I'm nuts.

I can see how you're tempted but I would hold off another few months then decide. You'll sorely miss that 175pm & as you can see light at the end of the tunnel 18m will fly by you can continue to get other exercise to tire them out !

It would be lovely but being out of debt is nicer.

Plus if anything happens you're stuck with a £175 a month debt to service.

Don't do it! It's such a faff in reality - parking charges (if they apply) temptation to have a coffee afterwards/feed the kids because it's near lunch/buy new towels etc

Sorry, am feeling really like all this stuff is procrastination or getting in the way - my whole married like has been 'oh it's only...' Or 'well the kids need...'and here we are owing 42,000 and not paying the mortgage on a combined salary of 70,000.

Thanks ladies. It's helping strengthen my resolve.

I just need TiP to tell me I'm behaving like Rockefeller now!

Nerd there's no parking charges, but there is a Costa coffee

I have to think about the novelty wearing off....

nerf not nerd!

Damn you autocorrect!

Lovely and practical as it sounds...I wouldn't. At least not immediately. Give yourself 6 months or so and view it with hindsight...would you really have used it as much as you believe?

I can talk mind lol I'm renting a treadmill and a vibroplate at the moment - 50pnds per month, but I am using both on average twice a day. Allows me to exercise once DS is in bed (and I'm confined to barracks!). Between that and watching what I eat I've lost 2 stone since Easter

Found a good linkie on Elaine Colliars site (Mortgage Free in Three) for free online reading (magazines etc)...issuu.com if anyone is interested

I think that there will be other offers for the place so this won't be the only time you could sign up. I also think £175 strikes me as very steep, even for all of you - is there anything council run that might offer similar facilities? We have an ultra posh club near us with membership like you've quoted, but the council one is about £60 for all of us although we don't go. (I won't say I bet it is very, very lovely for the £175 though as I am not encouraging you .)

The other thing to remember is that it is fine to choose to spend £175 a month on that if you want to, but it is £175 you won't have for something else. So, you might choose to spend that money on the health club, but accept you're going self-catering rather than all inclusive on holiday, or staying in current property rather than moving into bigger house so you can maintain higher cost activities. It's all personal choice. I don't think it's a waste of money if you know its something you will all love, but it will obviously be at the cost of something else.

The hardest thing is not being able to do it all!! I want the big house, luxury club and posh holidays. Unfortunately, though 75k sounds like a vast income on paper, in reality it is not enough for all of these things when you factor in the cost of everyday life.

The final thing is how long they bind you into the contract for - be certain you will use it as often as you think you will. I agree with waiting for a couple of months and possibly explore other options.

Well done Mum - super loss!

I am more Nerd than Nerf tbf.

Thanks Kinky

Thanks all. Went for swim earlier. It was nice. Not £175 nice, but £28 trial price nice

Didyouevah
Just catching up with y'all fropm the depths of California

Gym membership : mine is £190 per month
BUT
I count it in price per class and price per swim and price per sport lesson
it then comes down to tracking your usage
...
over 10 years, I get swims down to £1 per head, classes to £3 a time and sports sessioms to £4 / hour
so its use it or lose it
FWIW
When we had a cash crisis, we realised that the gym would be the last to go as its unlimited usage once paid for
and while we were having building work, we washed there every day

Hi everyone

Doing okay here. Getting worried about Christmas travel, actually, but DH and I are going to sit down this weekend and see what's possible.

But I get my pay raise at the end of this month so that will be nice. Will see how much it actually is after taxes (frankly I suspect not all that much) and then work out where to put it.

Sounds like everyone is doing well -- Didyouevah the swim sounds nice and welcome philnted !