Debt mutual support thread number 4 .... every journey starts with the hardest first step

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
and my THIRD
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/a2062902-Debt-Number-3-For-those-who-feel-they-are-drowning-and-want-a-way-out?msgid=48505428#48505428
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.
The long term results for you, your marriage and your children are worth it.

carrie
yes, but I am not in debt and I still set strict limits.
£50 towards clothes - if she has it in cash and can digest when it runs out will go a v v long way
Laptop : buy in January when the prices for new and second hand plummet

The only way we can afford Christmas at all is Park. We get a £200 love to shop card voucher from them which costs us £15 a month- we don't notice the 15 going out and it pays in advance for the card which they send out in November. We use it to spend £100 on each child. It takes the stress out of main presents for us. They don't charge interest and it works well for us.

It's easy to say it's the memories of Christmas etc etc but when you have pre teens etc it is very difficult not to get them something they really want - and park is one way that we can manage it (if we saved it ourselves we'd never stop ourselves dipping into it).

I love Xmas.
It is the one time of year I will not scrimp...and for no other reason than it's a special time of year. It's not like every other day. And that's what I like about it :)
I am doing pretty well budget wise this year so far....but we shall see :)

It is harder with older kids :(
With babies/toddlers/primary kids they are happy with crafty bits and building blocks etc.
Gets harder when they want iPads, iPods and x boxes etc.
Oh, and don't get me started on the price of lego!

Yes I think younger kids aren't as aware of whether things are expensive and will be happy with lots of bits and pieces from poundland and Wilkinsons, but teens tend to know what they want and it's generally expensive.

Last year I got her a kindle and the grandparents chipped in and I used my tesco vouchers so it barely cost anything for us and we could spend our money on an Amazon voucher so she could choose books for it. Unfortunately our family is tiny and therefore in total she'll only get about £60 from them plus our contribution.

Sadly this year we have shopped mainly at Aldi, so no Tesco or Sainsbury points to fall back on.

My two are very lucky and have gps and aunts and uncles and god parents who buy for them so I try and rein it in a bit (I fail mostly :))
This year I am determined.
They have got some books, DVDs and some toys.
Nothing very ££ and all things they will like and use/play with.
I think soon my ds1 will be at the "give him cash and take him shopping stage" but it quite yet.

Badvoc Im sill preparing to spend the same amount of money on DC. We are even going away (already booked before all this more serious approach to budgeting/spending). I shall reign in the excessive spending on tat eg tat in stocking ins - they will be more meaningful/useful socks, shower gel etc.
We will reign in money we spend on going out during December (normally have a full calendar) as we are away anyway so have that to look forward. Definately limiting booze and food.

Id say my main changes to all this debt free is - more serious payments on cards (used the spreadsheets), less spending on eating out/takeaways (hardly none actually) curbed my emotional clothes buying habits.

Oooooh where are you off to? :)
I think Dh would like us to go away for the weekend before Xmas - he talking of selling his stamp collection so he must be serious!

Well nowhere exotic but I am v much looking forward to it: good old center parks. It allows us to have my DM there which isnt possible otherwise. I have booked entertainment, 2 meals out and a turkey plus veg & tree to turn up. I like the idea that it is all neatly packaged IYKWIM. Cant wait to do forest walks and sip hot chocolate on the lakeside starbuck veranda thingy! Pony rides, spa for us, carol concert.. I could go on but it feels v wrong on this thread. Anyway its all paid for now.

Most of the money will be in on Wednesday and the first thing I'm doing is paying off as much as possible. So excited. But will still be here with a third of what we owe. Please take my excitement as intended

Nerf! Wonderful! :)
Sounds lovely like a lovely time AS :)

andsmile four years ago we did a winter wonderland three days at centre parcs on the way back from the obligatory visit to the in laws....this was when no.3 was still in a cot so we could have a two room lodge. It snowed the whole time we were there and it was just magical! I spent one evening in the spa and walked back through the forest with snowflakes falling, it could have been in the alps. One of my favourite holidays ever, we came home the day before Xmas eve and I would have loved to have stayed, I really didn't want to leave!!!!

Good news nerf!!!

Go nerf go!

Delighted for you Nerf!!

DD has just been watching a Simpsons episode from on the planner......complete with last year's John Lewis Xmas advert!!! Is it wrong to have had a sudden 'yay!' Can't wait for this year's......

I love Xmas. But I want a John Lewis Xmas. All snuggly where everyone behaves

But real life isn't like that.

We'll have our old decs, fake tree and have a fine time.

I actively avoid Halloween. Hate, hate, hate it. Don't open the door for treaters either

I have been putting money aside for gifts but it's all quite under control. Mine are stil young enough to be impressed by a £5 piece of tat.

We used to buy one Christmas tree decoration every year, but now we have more than enough and don't buy more.

Luckily because we don't have a big family we don't have lots of visitors to cater for over Christmas and we don't have turkey, just roast chicken. We make mince pies ourselves, also stollen, and my mum makes a Christmas cake. We do have nice cheeseboard and a couple of nice bottles of wine, but we don't drink much, so don't need much else. We don't go out to eat and we don't go out for new years eve either.

Thanks all.

Totally agree about wanting a tv advert Xmas! It always starts well....pajamas, stockings, Buck's Fizz....

This year I have been visiting TK max clearance toys and books for stockings and have got loads of cheap things - zombie books for a pound, cheap nail stuff etc so stockings are easier. They do lists so I need to budget for something off the list, but aside from that I've bought books for people and have then used the points to buy books for everyone else. (Water stones).

Oo I shall be giving TK a visit then. i do remeber seeing wuite nice stuff in their clearance section before.

Im all over amazon too - Im waiting for Black Friday - not done this before Im hoping to get a bit off two ipads.

I am committing a mortal sin and will probably go poof after posting this but I am buying both my kids who are aged 8 and nearly 3 an ipad mini. I can not contemplate DD looking frantic through presents to then shout where m y iPad she plays on her games, reads her books so yes I am getting my fiery little DD one too. I am also getting the thing that clips on to make it interactive OSMOS thing. Yes getting chunky rubber covers that look like little men too.

I will also get them both lego and craft stuff. DD ive got some cheap dress up wings and shoes already and DS is getting some rocks for his collection.

I just read its not about hte hardware its about the software - So as long as they access creative or educationa content with a couples of games I dont mind. They are the touch screen generation not querty like us.

Does it HAVE to be a mini? If so, does it have to be brand new?

I'm not a fan of 2nd hand electronics (fingers burnt before)

I bought DD an acer tablet from argos. I think it was reduced to £60. She used birthday money. It's really good. We honestly thought we'd have trouble with non apple products but it's great.

Badvoc if you pop back here is the vegeree recipe:

simply-veggie.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/vegeree-or-veggie-kedgeree.html?m=1

Am on mobile so no clicky link, sorry!

And smile
Just read your update in your changes re:debt.
It's amazing what a little control can do - you posting about a spreadsheet and making additional payments, that's the most important thing, not to ignore it and to own it and address it.

Good god I'm a sad case.

I've spent the entire evening on compare the market faffing about with car insurance and home insurance quotes... both up for renewal next month. Managing to save £20 on each at the moment. Feeling very excited at the prospect of an extra £40 floating about. .... can use towards the overdraft.

My life is so exciting.

We have the Acer tablet from Argos too, it's great I don't think they have it in stock anymore though, but worth checking. The next size up is 16 gb for £90.