Debt mutual support thread number 4 .... every journey starts with the hardest first step

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
and my THIRD
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/a2062902-Debt-Number-3-For-those-who-feel-they-are-drowning-and-want-a-way-out?msgid=48505428#48505428
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.
The long term results for you, your marriage and your children are worth it.

I've lost nearly 3st now down to a mix of juicing for the best part but also a great wee app called Easyloss Virtual Gastric Band. I lost 1st using the app alone then a friend got me into juicing. Between them both my eating habits have totally changed ...

I will be buying some twinings vanilla tea it seems .

Food is my vice - I don't drink or smoke, but I have never got a handle on dealing with my emotions without eating. I am rather overweight - could do with losing about 4st. I am trying gradual change rather than cold-turkey diets as they just don't work for me. I have done everything, lost well at the time, put it all back on again. I have been everything from a slinky 10 (I'm 5' 9'') to a 22. Part of the problem is my skin is so stretched from having two mega babies (10lb 12 and 10lb 9) that I will look proper gross if I do lose it all and definitely need some surgery to sort the mess out. I think this is a bit of a psychological barrier too. Something to save up for .

JickJack I would give serious thought to applying for teaching jobs. If you're in school, you will still be current on what's happening. I know it is easier said than done in primary, but might be worth a go?

'proper gross' is the accurate technical term.

Mum4fergus - tell me more about the juicing ! I have a juicer which I am lazy about using however I am genuinely concerned it would cost a lot in fruit & veg ! We buy very basic most weeks - apples & carrots (cabbage this week too).

Hi all...still in hospital, need more tests as the CT didn't show any obvious infection in the appendix site. It did show some other worrying things including inflamed lymph nodes in my small intestine, a thickening in the wall of the small intestine and a possible issue with the blood supply to there, as well as the fluid which they'd drained out of my abdomen which has come back.

There are lots of programmes out there but I started with the 3 Day Detox from Jason Vale, then 5lbs in 5 Days... now I do my own thing using whatever I get fresh/reduced. My food bill has more than halved since I started ...

So do you have juice instead of a meal ? I might start that I could make carrot juice & have it for breakfast. I have huge issues with constant constip (tmi).
Peonies - I hope you're feeling ok !
Kinky - is there no alternative to surgery ?

Yes,simple as that...usually fruit based for breakfast,vegetable for lunch if I'm at home or dinner if I'm out n about...light lunch or soup for remaining meal. Drink loads of water too...I lost any/all cravings after day 3-4, taste buds have totally changed too,can't stomach anything sweet or processed rarely eats carbs anymore. I only eat/drink when I'm hungry...view food very much as fuel now...

Sounds great I might do this next shop I'll buy as much fruit & veg as possible. Sounds like you've cracked the cravings. I'm fed up being so full up of carbs !

Peonies...fingers x for better news today x
Well...have had to open an unpaid case against an e bay buyer :( first time ever.
So have re listed the item.
My sister is buying some toys off me - £30
It was the cut off date for the job I applied for yesterday....don't want to get my hopes up though.

Kinky I totally get you on the weight thing, I also need to shift a couple of stone, also related to mega baby-ness though I can raise your ten pounders with an 11lb 8oz-er!! My skin is ok but my shape has definitely changed and even if I can get back to 'trim' I'm much thicker round my middle now which makes me feel dumpy. Ah well, should have stopped at two, I was still thin then!!!

Need to check the on line banking in a mo, and move the CB over from my account to stop us going over the od limit in the joint account. Still a week till payday but tax credits go in on Friday.

Hope everyone's having a good and not too-spendy day! My little car is at the garage for its mot so I am hoping it's passed as there's no money to pay for anything major!!!!

Miss keep us updated and try and rest xxxxx

Badvoc good luck!

Snowie nope - is overstretched skin. Went to various consultants after the mess I was in when I had DD at 19 and was told then. Did loads of exercise and was very slim, but tummy a mess. I've had DS since then.

Jick DS was born early. They told me if he'd have gone to term, he would have been 11lbs or more. Cripes on the 11lb 8oz! It's why I've stopped at two!!

oh, and fingers crossed for MOT!

Well, the car failed on a leaky shock absorber I think DH said, so to have both replaced/repaired will come in just under £200...could be worse I suppose.

Kinky thankfully DS2 was my third, whenever I've been tempted for another I think back and it's enough to stop the broodiness. My consultant said the chances are it would be over twelve pounds should I have another one and frankly I'm not prepared to risk it. That and the fact I'm too old and too poor to have anymore kids of course!!!

Beeps are going to say the rice for dinner is ready.....there are five of us in the house, guess how many have moved a muscle to help.........looks like I'd best get into the kitchen then!

general good here - still no money.
but I have already qualified to sell toys and games on a?;:&#for christmas, which makes a huge difference to sales (I did it the year before last and took about £1000) and I felt the difference last year.
it's sad that it has to cone to that, though
bloomin' a?;:%#

Ooooh could you send me a link to your A*** shop please?
Thanks

I don't want to :(
if I do, will you promise to buy directly from methe items you like, and I'll keep them the same price?

Not sure what you mean...I meant I wanted to buy from your a*** shop?
I buy lots from amazon from other retailers/bookshops.

I've pmd you badvoc :)

Oh, and I need to pick your brains about suitable Xmas books for a 6 year old and 11 year old x

Cheers

yes, but if you buy my stuff from there instead of directly, I gave to pay commission.
I've listed most of my stuff at a loss just to sell it, to pay off the debts.
i'd keep the prices the same for you, but I would get more of the actual cost of the item.

Hi all

Thanks for all the replies and welcomes.

One of the things I am really struggling with is how can a 'normal' person rack up the kind of debt I have......this is no judgement on anyone else, it's just a question I keep asking myself.

Yes there are huge relationship issues ( the relationship is now totally dead to me, it's just a matter of planning my exit strategy in the cleverest way possible).

I have no expensive hobbies, vices, Etc. Despite all the crap DP throws at me it need to understand what Inhave allowed to happen as I need to know how to a solid ever being in this situation again.

DS brought home a form asking for a fiver donation so that he could participate in a school club tonight, DP told him to ask me and then said ' can you afford it, you can't be taking anymore money off the credit cards now can you!!! He is such a fucking fucker but in a really wired way, I am seeing him truly truly for what he is so he is doing me a favour.

Am still seeing solicitor Thursday but May still have to go for the loan, simply to enable myself to build up enough capital to then actually physically move out.

you can pick my brains

send me your email address and your requirements and I'll email you some ideas :)

boulder he's using it as a stick to beat you with.
except he chopped doen the tree, pulled off the branches and whittled it into a stick himself!

I do hope you can see through this soon, because he is killing you.