Debt mutual support thread number 4 .... every journey starts with the hardest first step

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
and my THIRD
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/a2062902-Debt-Number-3-For-those-who-feel-they-are-drowning-and-want-a-way-out?msgid=48505428#48505428
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.
The long term results for you, your marriage and your children are worth it.

Thank you peonies I am feeling much more positive now. I have rang one CC company, I have defaulted on both accounts with them_ ones still with them so I am going to make a payment towards it every week but at some point it might get sold on. The other has already been sold on so I've rang the debt collectors and given my current address/phone details and agreed to ring back later with my incomings and outgoings (which I've just completed). I've rang another CC company, turns out my payment plan with them has finished and my payment was due today so good job I did! So that means I am at least up to date with my other 4 now.
I also rang my electric company as although I am on a metre I got a letter saying I was in credit. They are sending me a cheque for £154 and readjusting my metre settings!
Tomorrow I will finally apply for housing benefit (I should have done this 6 months ago but thought if I could manage without I wouldn't, turns out I can't)
So all in all its been a fairly good day. No more hiding!

Well done theend, you are making brilliant progress!

Well done on taking the bull by the horns Theend, the start has been really difficult but very worthwhile for me.

Someone on here recommended You Need a Budget (YNAB) which I have found amazing. Good luck with everything!

I was listening to Radio 4s money programme the other week & I'm sure they said that debts sold on are sold on for literally a few pounds and you can make low offers on the repayment because anything you pay is a profit for them.

It's worth researching though.

fluffy its interesting you said that as they did mention it, but unfortunately I have nothing to offer! I've set up a payment plan though that is affordable and will have it paid of in 2 years, it'll fly by I wonder if I could make an offer at a later date when the outstanding amount isn't so large. I'm so glad not to have it hanging over me anymore. And at least I'm not paying interest!

Thank you pixie I feel like I'm taking control of my life back (at last!)

trainers I'll definitely have a look at that I've never budgeted before and it's nigh on time I started.

fluffy you're right - they will usually settle debt like that for 15-25p on the £1. But you need to keep the settlement letter in a fire proof box for life, as they are rather prone to "forgetting" the debt has been settled - I've never defaulted on a debt but my parents have so I've seen a few nasty creditor tricks in my time.

We are now free of credit card debt for the first time in 10 years. DH is settling the car today, hopefully by this evening we'll be completely debt free. Can't believe it. to all you wonderful people for supporting me us through this.

Victory boogie Miss !!!!!!!! Loud music and fizzy wine!!!!

Hello the end again. I think ringing them is the scary option but is so much more productive - they are going to want to work with you usually. Well done.

Peonies

Peoniesformissannersley
Not only are you debt free BUT you have changed your mindset so that you will stay that way for ever and will be able to help others turn that corner.
I hope you have a NICE bottle of champagne in the fridge ready

and
boring hat on
plans for how you intend to save all the money you were paying on repayments so that it builds up rapidly for a house deposit : use your ISA allowances if you can.

theendoftheend
welcome to the gang and well done for starting to get it under control.
THe light at the end of the tunnel is not an oncoming train

I had a great surprise moment this lunchtime - found a tatty old M&S gift card at home while packing up to move - was doing a NSD anyway but then decided to type it in on the website to see how much was on it (expected a couple of quid) - it had £20 on it!! God knows where it has come from but it was very welcome.

It's not like some vouchers where you can get cash back so I spent some of the money on some necessaries like upcoming birthday cards and then supplemented tonight's meagre lentil curry with some Indian snacks and Cobra beer. I've already done the shop for the week and we're trying to eat everything before we move so there was not much point stocking up on chopped toms etc plus I'm sick of eating them

It was hard not to go berserk and just get £20 worth of Percy Pigs but we are sticking to the meal plan and just having a few little treats to go with it. It has cheered me greatly (sad I know!)

at the £20 of Percy Pigs!

trainers I would have gone mad on luxury food, I love all the little salads and dips and yummy things in M and S but rarely indulge as it is so expensive.

TiP we have an appointment at a building soc tomorrow to open 2 cash ISAs which we will split the remaining inheritance into then we will each pay a standing order of the amount we were paying off debt, plus my raise which takes effect from 30th sept and plus the amount of DH's car payments which he no longer has to make. We won't see it as true savings until we have paid back the money we used to pay off the debt if you see what I mean - it'll take about a year to pay all that back to ourselves.

and the madness begins - DH had rung his car company last week to let them know he'd be settling the finance agreement early. Today's post - a "VIP" invitation to a fancy event with champers and nibbles, to offer him the "exclusive chance" to upgrade his car to a brand new car at an "unbeatable price"

peonies
and that is exactly why I'm delighted you are sticking around

because the folks on this thread are getting out of debt slowly and painfully

all the while the companies are throwing money at people without proper checks!

Peonies...next is terrible for this!
They put my limit up without me asking all the time.
It's annoying.
My replacement carpet is finally down!
Looks lovely, but what a faff
New (free) curtain up at front door :)
Throws on manky sofas to hide the mankiness :)
Have applied for a temp mat cover position today at my sons school.
I won't get it...they will have 100s of applicants - but it makes me feel like I am doing something.

Ok now this is getting ridiculous - while DH was on the phone to car people he checked his online banking. The credit card he paid in full and closed last week has "reappeared" on his list off accounts with the bank and they have taken a direct debit from his current account which means he is £86 in credit as the card had a £0 balance and was closed - except he cancelled the direct debit after he had closed the account...

he's on the phone to them now. I did not foresee this.

Oooh badvoc good luck!!! That's so cool - are you a teacher too?

I did
Finance companies hate it when you stop being in debt.
I'm sure some day they will try to assassinate me for writing those spreadsheets

No :)
It's an admin role.
Nothing surprises me anymore wrt what companies will do.
I went from having a £1k limit on my next account one day to £4k the next!
I haven't used it...must irritate them no end :)
My parents were nearly £400 in credit with their energy supplier once!
If dad hadnt rang and asked them they would have just kept taking the payments!

I'd go to the free event and get sloshed on free champers, there's sometimes a raffle of some kind too so you might win something for eBay too.

Dh had similar when he paid off his cc and personal loans. I'm sure they don't want people to stay in debt forever so the ceo can buy a bigger yacht do they?.

£20 of Percy Pigs. Even I could to manage that and they are the only sweet I actually buy (veggie) and look forward to.
Loving the love and goodwill of the thread to those of us getting there faster - so pleased Peonies you are staying and honestly thread people we have done so well since last year. Even if we can't see it we feel it.

Hi everyone :)

Wow I'd love £20 worth of percy pigs.... mmmmm!

Good luck for the job badvoc, fingers crossed.

Peonies so interesting to read how it's going sorting it all out and the offer of the car upgrade!!

Well I am still plodding along. Down to my last tenner with the weekend to go! But I guess that's better than last week when I'd already overspent by £30 by now....

dh is in a terrible dark cloud of depression. I have suggested he goes to the gp but to be honest I think the only thing that's going to make him feel better is getting a new job. I still keep thinking about the other night when he phoned me in tears and how upset he sounded. He sounded so upset I thought he had been attacked or something. It literally scared the life out of me.

Dd has started high school and there's a few non anticipated costs - silly stuff like she needs a particular book for Spanish and some hockey socks! So I'm going to have to get those tomorrow. Also a bit frustrated because I was sure she would be entitled to free school means as our income is under the threshold but because we get working tax credits we are not allowed to claim :( and none of dds friends are having packed lunch so I will have to rejig finances and take £40 a month for her dinners.... oddly enough the savings I'm going to make when renewing car insurance and home insurance next month come to exactly £40! (Checked already). So we won't be any worse off but not better off as I'd hoped!

Onwards and upwards as they say. Or maybe onwards and sideways. It feels a bit like it at the moment.

fluffy we are tempted to go, eat everything, I drink as much as possible as DH drives and then leave. It would serve them right. It's so cynical - they can see we're getting free and they're trying to lure us back in, acting like they're doing us a favour. Funny how they never invited us to exclusive VIP events last year when we were just paying the minimum...

Bank said they had no idea how the "error" of his account being reopened occurred and have transferred the money back into his current account. hah.