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Debt Number 3 : For those who feel they are drowning and want a way out

999 replies

TalkinPeace · 25/04/2014 21:23

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then
SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

  • yesterday is as past as the Crimean War
( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )
  • this is an anonymous forum
( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )
  • this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt
( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.

OP posts:
midnightmoomoo · 01/05/2014 20:47

I've been reading this thread with interest but not ready to post yet, may I ask those of you who are marking how you 'get into' it? (another teacher here!)

midnightmoomoo · 01/05/2014 20:49

Oh, and MyGoldenNotebook, don't forget that once your daughter is two and nine months she'll get 15 hours a week free funding....I know that's a little way off, but it will help a bit then x

ishesingle · 01/05/2014 20:52

Hi isitpimms (great user name!)

Just google:
Aqa examiner vacancies
OCR examiner vacancies
WJEC examiner vacancies
Edexcel assessment associates

And you'll find some subjects still need examiners.

Nerf · 01/05/2014 20:57

Hi Pimms!

pixiestix · 01/05/2014 21:09

Happy birthday Kinky!

I need to come back to the fold. Things are spiralling here. £1600 put onto the cc last month Sad Angry Am going to formulate a plan and come back fighting over the weekend.

TalkinPeace · 01/05/2014 21:14

pixiestix
the absolute amount onto the card is only a problem if there is not a plan to get it back off as quickly.
'fess up. What were you buying?

OP posts:
KinkyDorito · 01/05/2014 21:17

Aww, thanks for your lovely responses to my blatant digging for birthday wishes! Grin

And I got a dragon too!!

Dragon

I didn't even know I could do that!!!

I have worked late, but at least it has been a successful day on that front so feel quite pleased at the moment. Hopefully some time to relax over the weekend.

Thanks Thanks Thanks to you all again Smile

MyGoldenNotebook · 01/05/2014 22:21

Ooh ... Is it two and none months? I thought that the free hours came in the term after children turned three?

MyGoldenNotebook · 01/05/2014 22:26

Hi Pixie - come back and join the fun Grin

Nerf · 01/05/2014 22:59

Pixie, hi come and tell us all about it

MissAnnersleyismyhero · 02/05/2014 06:30

Why is there a dragon now? Not that I am complaining Dragon

come on pixie, spill the beans! Grin

moneyone · 02/05/2014 06:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Badvoc · 02/05/2014 07:39

Hello everyone!
Been AWOL for a while as been staying at mums til the kitchen was done :(
Anyway, after paying the electrician, plumber and builder I reckon we will have £1k left in savings :( not ideal but better than many, I know :(
Need to start really budgeting though as the work has taken much longer than expected (major problems with electrics) and I have not been as careful with money as I should have been in April.
Next 2 months will be hard as they include a 4 day break with pils and dh and ds1s b days!
Argh!

kazzawazzawoo · 02/05/2014 11:26

Argh, been underpaid this month! Sad As mine is our only income at the moment I can't manage without the full pay Sad

kazzawazzawoo · 02/05/2014 13:10

However, dh just texted me, has received a nice tax rebate due to being out of work Smile (but he's planning on spending 70 quid of that on pc stuff we don't need! ).

Hopefully I can put most of that towards paying off the overdraft.

Jemster · 02/05/2014 13:27

Kazza, can you ask for the amount owing to be paid to you now rather than waiting until next payday? I work in payroll and we would pay immediately if we'd made an error with someone's pay.

Jemster · 02/05/2014 13:41

I would really appreciate your advice ladies on a personal situation. It is quite awkward and I can't speak to anyone in rl.
My dh is in sales. He has very good relationships with a few of his customers. On several occasions now he has come home with £50 in cash. Often it's been right at the end of the month which has got us through.
I asked him where he got it and it's from one of his customers. Basically dh sometimes gets enquiries from end users (members of public) who want to buy a product. Dh can't sell direct so he gives the 'lead' to his customer (the shop owner). If shop owner makes a sale (usually a few thousand) from dh's lead, he gives him £50 as a thank you.

I told him I didn't want to do this as it seemed wrong and a bit like bribery. Dh said it's helping out a good customer and his company lose nothing. He sales he knows other people who do it.
As it happens only a few times a year I've turned a blind eye to it especially as at times we've really needed that money!

However,as I work in HR I'm thinking what would happen if someone got caught doing that at my work?
I am terrified of him getting the sack as then we'd be stuffed.

Whenever I bring the subject up he just breezes over it. I wonder if he did say he'd stop it whether he 'd just do it in secret.

What do you think? It's really worrying me but I don't know how to get him to listen to how serious I think it would be if anyone found out. I'm even thinking of writing it down in a letter to him as I don't want another disagreement over it.

Any advice gratefully appreciated. Thanks

tinker316 · 02/05/2014 13:42

Count me in please Smile

Nerf · 02/05/2014 13:45

Hello Badvoc! How's the kitchen?
Jemster, I'm not sure I totally understand. He works for company A which don't sell all the things customers want. So he points them in direction of company B and gets a backhander as a thank you?
Two things - company a prob would not like this acceptance of money. Signposting is just helpful if his own company genuinely can't provide it.
Tax - cash in hand.

kazzawazzawoo · 02/05/2014 14:23

Jemster, I've emailed him to ask why I've been underpaid. He's not very good at replying though and I hate doing these things on the phone Sad

kazzawazzawoo · 02/05/2014 14:27

Jemster that's awkward. So does he just sell to retailers?

I think if it's causing a problem between you discussing it, putting it in writing is a good idea. I would feel uneasy too.

Jemster · 02/05/2014 14:29

Sorry Nerf I explained it really badly. He works for the manufacturer who as a company sell their products into specialist shops who in turn sell the product to the public. So if dh is approached by the public he can't sell his product directly to them, they have to but through the shop (who he sells the product to). Therefore both the shop and dh's company benefit from the sale.

Nerf · 02/05/2014 14:42

Oh I see. Not sure then . Like a thank you from the shop?
I think there's a tax implication as it's by reason of employment - it's all coming back to me actually- gifts etc in the workplace , think he would need to check the company policy on accepting gifts. I imagine that they say no. Would try to stop him and not say anything !

Jemster · 02/05/2014 15:42

Yes I suppose it is like a thank you. I think, what if their business relationship goes wrong and he tells dh's boss he's been accepting this money. Dh is a good man and to be honest I think he accepts the odd £50 here and there because he knows we could really do with it. Trouble is we'd be a lot worse off if he lost his job because of it.

TalkinPeace · 02/05/2014 15:44

Jemster
First off, read his contract of employment and the company policy on gifts.
Also, does the company have a policy to handle enquiries from the public that are then put through a particular reps sales patch (they should do).
It should be disclosed as taxable income, and there are 'gift / bribery' implications
BUT
see what the company documentation says first, then decide whether to worry.
Possibly put those odd amounts into savings as an extra clever move Grin

OP posts: